Talking

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kaie -> Talking (4/24/2007 4:44:48 AM)
Greetings All, i was wondering if ya'll like talking during a scene or if you just like it quiet? By quiet i mean music can be in the background, but no talking. Sometimes i get so into/concentrating on what's being done and if he talks to me or asks me something it's distracting. i've read that it's important for the Dom to ask the sub questions and for her to answer in order for the scene to continue, but i'm really not liking that method.

Elegant -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 5:47:55 AM)
It depends on the scene itself. Sometimes he talks, sometimes I talk...sometimes we laugh and giggle..sometimes I scream and curse. Sometimes it's silent.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 7:37:22 AM)
In the beginning, it can be necessary to ask the sub questions to get to know them and work with them in a scene. Over time, this becomes less necessary. And yes, I'm ok with a sub being annoyed at me for asking too many questions- much better than them being hurt unintentionally later.

juliaoceania -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 7:44:19 AM)
We talk during scenes, he will tell me to shut up if he doesn't like it, or fill my mouth with something. I have never had a problem with him talking to me and asking me questions.. there have been times i am slow in answering, and that tends to get an annoyed "Answer me now" Kinda response. I just do what I am told, it is easier that way[:D]

agirl -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 7:59:06 AM)
Talking doesn't happen here, not at those times........we've never talked about not talking either. Perhaps I grunt, groan and grimace in expressive ways....lol If you don't know each other terribly well then I can understand why it's stressed. agirl

heartfeltsub -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 1:23:44 PM)
i also prefer no talking during a scene, it distracts me from being able to process pain. i also have a hard time understanding what He is saying to me during a scene as well. It feels like i am having to pull myself up to the surface from a huge depth, like surfacing from underwater and it is a strain to do so. heartfelt

hisannabelle -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 1:55:59 PM)
greetings kaie, i'm expected to answer questions, ask questions, communicate my thoughts, feelings, emotions, fantasies, etc. continuously throughout scenes. generally i get in trouble for not talking, so i talk...a lot...or try to. occasionally i wish i was allowed to shut up, but our method works for us, so that's what i do :) annabelle.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Talking (4/24/2007 6:17:01 PM)
On the way home I remembered a scene I did a few years ago in which a bottom was definitely not happy with the fact that I was asking her to respond and give guidance on how she was reacting. I made it part of the scene- telling her what a pussy she was that she couldn't handle just some basic talk and if she though she could do a better job topping herself then she was more than happy to try- which of course turned into her asking sweetly for me not to stop and apologizing.

kaie -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 4:51:56 AM)
Greetings All, Thanks for the responses, it's interesting to get other's points of view. i've mentioned before that we're still rather new at this. We've done things before and there has been no talking, which also kind of freaked me out to begin with. Not that i was told NOT to talk, but He never did and so i just followed suite so to speak. He's been doing some reading, and having me do some also and now He talks during scenes sometimes and it's different. Something i'm sure i an get used to but just very different than it has been in the past. And like heartfelt said, it's like having to wade up through water to comprehend and answer. Respectfully, kaie

BDOMsecret -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 7:16:43 AM)
I find hearing Master's voice during a scene extremely comforting. And yes, i have to answer His questions. He has informed me that it is for safety reasons.

soultoshare -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 7:34:02 AM)
with my play partners, i used to have the TV on....mainly to hide any noise that may be produced. But with my Master, i play some soft music in the background, he seems to like it. i do love the sound of his voice, but it is tough trying to process what i'm going thru, and what he's doing when i have to answer a question. As we are fairly new as a couple, he is still learining how my body and mind react to what he's doing to me, so he stops to make sure i'm okay, but sometimes trying to get the words out to answer is impossible, fortunately, he accepts a head nod in response. So far, it's working for us. He is however, far more intense than any play partner i've ever had, and he knows this, therefore he checks often on my condition. It just takes some getting used to, that's all.

amuzingtoyou -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 8:07:08 AM)
i am not very talkative during a scene, however i don't mind it if he is. Actually i kind of like it if he is. It really depends what is being said. We have been together a while now, so he doesn't have to ask me if im ok. Usually it is those domly utterances that he puts out there to increase whatever is going on. Its always nice during a hot and heavy scene to have your hair grabbed and told that "you are mine bitch"...mmm yummy.

littleone35 -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 8:47:31 AM)
I am very vocal and i am not talking about talking i usually don't have enough breath to talk, Master! is all i can get out and even that is hard. Master does not usually talk during a scene. It does not really bother me i actually kinda like it. If he asked me questions i don't think i could answer my mind goes kinda fuzzy and blank. Matt's littleone

santalia -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 10:41:54 AM)
Greetings In the past, i, too, have found that during a scene my mind goes fuzzy and blank. It is working hard to process what is happening to me. If i were asked a question, i might be able to answer early on, but the deeper into the scene we go, the more likely my mind would not be able to process what is being said, or process what to say in return if it did understand the words spoken to me. Now, i don't yet know how it will go with my Master, as we've not scened together yet. But, i'm thinking it safe to say that my ability to communicate as i get closer to and deeper in subspace will be very much the same as it has in the past. Well wishes -santalia{JR}t

charismagirrl -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 11:07:23 AM)
i don't know so much about the question aspect, as my Daddy hasn't asked me alot of them but as for talking...well it seems as though i'm in the minority...i only wish and pray that my Daddy would talk to me during a scene. Hearing other's responses and knowing that my Daddy has had years of experience, i may finally understand why he doesn't talk to me very much at all during. That being said, this is unfortunately why i have not been able to attain deep subspace with my Daddy ( i enjoy myself but don't get 'there"). i NEED to be talked to, in a really nasty way as well as a comfoting way, that all of the nastiness is a good thing and pleasing.... i need to hear those whispers of menacing love in my ears. Otherwise the sensation alone just isn't enough for me. It isn't mental or emotional enough and there is an old saying someone told me a long time ago... A man falls in love with what he sees, a woman falls in love with what she hears. This is me...i am driven mentally,emotionally and sexually from sounds. The sound of my Master/Daddy's voice was initially one of the things that drew me deeply into him.i was almost afraid to hear it at first, knowing that if it matched the way he looked that i was a gonner. Anyway, now i'm rambling. edited for spelling

Casie -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 11:15:13 AM)
Depends on the scene it's self

sunfleur -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 11:52:53 AM)
general chit chat would be quite distracting to me. however give and take communication i find to be essential. being a diabetic, i really need to be 'checked in with' to make sure i'm not experience a drop in blood sugar, which can leave me mentally and physically unable to communicate.. which is dangerous. music in the background is fabulous.

MellowSir -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 12:07:27 PM)
I love to talk, both during scening and at any other time. A little less necessary while scening, if one reads body language well, yet none of us are mind-readers so talking is essential to gauging each others' mental/emotional states.....If I don't feel free to talk at any time and my sub doesn't (unless she's commanded to silence), then to me it speaks of a lack of trust.....

junecleaver -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 12:15:29 PM)
-fast reply- While we haven't really done any scenes that 'required' communication, He seems to enjoy talking during the scene and likes me to be somewhat active in it. It is rarely a 'You stand there and I get to beat you. Whee!' type of thing even though those are the types of activies that send me to space much more quickly. It gets on my nerves to constantly be asked questions, especially 'Are you okay?' or 'Does that hurt?' You are hitting me and biting me and pinching me---it hurts! I can get to a point where my head is kind of...airy and the pain starts to feel good and sometimes I think he purposefully talks to me during a scene to keep me to getting from a point where it stops hurting. So no, I am not a huge fan of talking most of the time.

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Talking (4/25/2007 12:38:31 PM)
quote: It gets on my nerves to constantly be asked questions, especially 'Are you okay?' or 'Does that hurt?' OMG i totally know how you feel about this(isnt that what safe words are for?).....sorry that wasnt really on topic*

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