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Age old question - 4/24/2007 11:01:09 AM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I know this has been asked before however it is one of those questions that come up often and who knows what new answers we may find.

My question is,  what do you do in your relationship to keep the Kink alive on a day to day basis.  This is more directed to those in a live in 24/7 relationship with all the trappings of life, kids (specifically teenagers) bills, work, family responsiblities (aging parents etc) and all the other things that take up time.

I am looking forward to hearing from others and how creative they are to keep the power exchange and ownership alive.

Thanks in advance for any and all replies.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~
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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 11:06:54 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Make time for it and make it nearly sacred.  You don't have to label it "kinky time" just "us being totally intimate together time"

And always be exploring new things together in LIFE- concerts, events, movies, going out together and seeing other new things in the world will reflect and keep YOU in the mindset of growth vs stagnation.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/24/2007 11:08:17 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 11:07:09 AM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline 		With my partner it's through innuendo, text messages, and e-mails. I'll forward conversations from CM and my mailling lists to her and she'll do the same. The text message game will go back and forth until one of us can't handle it anymore.

_____________________________

Leather Rubbin and Dubbin

Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

(in reply to Owned1)
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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 11:58:40 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		this is a cool link.

dont hope...decide!

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 4/24/2007 11:59:13 AM >

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 12:01:52 PM   
Asraii


Posts: 91
Status: offline 		When I was in a relationship, we did not do anything specific to keep the 'kink' alive. The dynamic was there 24/7 even through the raising of kids, paying of bills, etc, etc.

(in reply to Owned1)
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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 12:12:05 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Make time for it and make it nearly sacred.  You don't have to label it "kinky time" just "us being totally intimate together time"

And always be exploring new things together in LIFE- concerts, events, movies, going out together and seeing other new things in the world will reflect and keep YOU in the mindset of growth vs stagnation.


Excellent advice.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 12:49:11 PM   
sunfleur


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		for me the 'feeling' kind of comes and goes at different times.  i may go for a week or two with no desire to play.. and then.. BOOM.. i need it constantly.  go figure. lol 

(in reply to Owned1)
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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 1:44:45 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		We grab time for "kink" when we can. Sometimes that is 10 minutes in bed on a Sunday morning or an hour here or there. We have VERY busy lives and there is always something that needs to be done. However, we feel taking "Us" time is vital to our relationship and what we want out of D/s.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 5:19:30 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		Thanks to those who have taken the time to reply.  To further clarify, by kink I simply meant the M/s D/s (whichever term you use) feeling alive.  Are there looks, tones, tasks that you each use that only you each know the meaning of?

Is there a ritual, hourly, daily, weekly that you may perform.  Is there a mantra you recite?

I am always curious as to how others keep the feelings alive without letting them get buried in the drudges of life?

Owned

~~edited to identify not in response to any one poster, simply a further thought in the post.~~

< Message edited by Owned1 -- 4/24/2007 5:20:13 PM >

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 5:30:14 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Often, our schedules are completely opposite, so during the week, all we get to do is watch eadh other sleep. The weekends, however, we get out of the house. We tend to focus less on the "kink" and more on us. I have found that D/s exerts itself in many ways. Inside jokes, "the look", and any number of things keeps it alive.
 
It doesn't matter what everyone else sees on the outside, it matters what you feel on the inside.

< Message edited by spanklette -- 4/24/2007 5:31:04 PM >

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 7:22:43 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I've tried many things to keep kink alive. It is very alive for me, as I think of ways I can serve him and be useful to him, think of lots of things related to him daily.

I know he thinks of many things, but I have not found a way that we can interact and feel the power exchange engage on a daily basis. Without some evidence that ~he~ is thinking of it daily, I feel one sided.

In the past we had a ritual that kept things very strong for me, but it has gone the way of many things in the past. He used to have me strip and kneel when he came into my home or when I came into his home, and do an inspection. If I had been given time to prepare, I had to be shaved, have my teeth brushed (I was allowed a few minutes in the bathroom if we had eaten in the car or something), and be freshly showered. If it was after work or something he simply took a moment to look me over, make me feel like I was his property, and then let me rise.

We have a collaring ritual that helps put me in the right mindset for an evening out, to a BDSM function or such, but I think I need some ritual for daily interaction if we are to be full time again.

~E

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RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 7:52:19 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I would think that maybe it needs to be kept a priority as much as any job or unmentionable activity..you may have to give up spontanaiety for good planning..but small price to pay...Tempting

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Age old question - 4/24/2007 8:33:00 PM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		We have a set morning ritual that was begun nearly 10 years ago.  it has morphed some and been added to for certain circumstances, but since morning is private and this is not loud or sexual, we can do it anyplace we are, even if we have family company.  We have  small ritual that can be done in front of anyone when he comes home - I get him a drink and take off his boots. (and boy after having his boots on all day I am always glad to get them off! lol)  At bed time we lay a certain way at first, no words-no sex, just laying that one way together and it ends our day.  I used to wear a leather collar to bed, but have not done it in a long time now as I have bad sinus at times and it sometimes wakes me up and the added feeling of a thing on my neck made me panicky when I was so stopped up I could not take a breath.  All small things but they sort of bracket or bookend our day and just keep some small focus.  There are other small things but those are always there.




_____________________________

He held out His hand and said "Step into the abyss with me."

... and i did.


~Surrender without Fear~
~Power without Guilt~
~Love without Doubt~

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Profile   Post #: 13
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