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seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 4:26:55 PM   
disciplinedslave


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/24/2007
Status: offline 		hello everyone,

i was wondering what others comments/feelings were on  a sub/slave actually wanting a punishment for doing something wrong.

recently i did something that was wrong, it was an accident, not something that i meant to do. when i asked Master if he was mad at me, he said no. he didnt think that i did it on purpose so what is the point of dwelling on it.
after talking with him and explaining to him that when i do something wrong/bad etc... if i am not punished/corrected i dwell on it, and worry about it, he agreed that what i was saying made sense and he said that he would give  me 20 lashes. about a half hour later i realized that i felt so much better knowing that i had a punishment coming. not that i will like the punishment, (Master is strong and talented in the area  of discipline), but just knowing that made me feel so much better.it feels wrong to me to not be punished for a less than desirable something on my part.

so i was just wondering what others thought about this.
thank you so much in advance for your responses. they will be read with much earnest.

disiplinedslave
collared and owned since 3/4/07
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 4:29:25 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		I once requested a punishment and my Daddy told me he felt it was topping from the bottom.  By him not giving me the punishment I felt I needed .... that was punishment enough for me ... in my own odd way.

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RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 4:30:26 PM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline 		I think it shows a committment to your choice of lifestyle.  you accept it and like it.
Doesn't mean you seek a punishment, it just completes you.
Way to go !! Hats off to you for being a real slave I say.


(in reply to disciplinedslave)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 4:37:34 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Sadisitc Man.. are you saying Im not a real slave becuase I dont ask for punishment... Im sorry but as a slave I dont feel its my place to ask for a punishment if Master felt I needed one he would give me one and me asking for one simply says I dont trust his judgment in the matter. I feel the same as the Op that if I do something I feel is wrong that I like to be punshed for it because it takes the guilt away, but I also know Master knows that and I also feel I need to trust Master in his desitions and that if he doesnt feel I need punishment then that at this point is enough of a reason for me not to feel guilty... if Master doesnt feel I need punishment then I have done nothing to feel guilty about!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:03:01 PM   
Casie


Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline 		I feel the same way. For me it's a deep feeling of guilt and when punishment is giving it relieves that and the guilt leaves.

(in reply to disciplinedslave)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:04:31 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Sadisitc Man.. are you saying Im not a real slave becuase I dont ask for punishment... Im sorry but as a slave I dont feel its my place to ask for a punishment if Master felt I needed one he would give me one and me asking for one simply says I dont trust his judgment in the matter. I feel the same as the Op that if I do something I feel is wrong that I like to be punshed for it because it takes the guilt away, but I also know Master knows that and I also feel I need to trust Master in his desitions and that if he doesnt feel I need punishment then that at this point is enough of a reason for me not to feel guilty... if Master doesnt feel I need punishment then I have done nothing to feel guilty about!!

Magik's slave


i agree with that completely and i also agree with what Nyla had to say that it seems like topping from the bottom.

minnetar

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RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:36:20 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I can relate to what you're saying, though I haven't been in your situation.

I think about it in terms of a need for atonement.  In my mind, the objective nature of the misdeed isn't as important as the subject feeling of having done wrong.  Its that subjective feeling that wrecks me.


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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:37:40 PM   
MissDiscipline


Posts: 117
Joined: 10/1/2006
From: Domme Beach Calif
Status: offline 		When a submissive  asks for punishment- I can feel a  vein grow on my forhead- I usually give stop talking to him  and dont see him for a while- It irritates the hell out of me- I dont mind if they ask if they have pleased me or angered me -

(in reply to minnetar)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:40:33 PM   
missdarque


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Perhaps sometimes the reason you don't get the punishment you want to help get the guilt off your mind is because your dom/me wants it there. They want you to think about it and you don't get away with it so easily.

It kind of makes me think of the old joke:

The masochist says hit me, the sadist says no.

(in reply to MissDiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:44:32 PM   
pagansub77


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't feel it's my place to ask to be punished. Certainly not to request a certain type of discipline. At most, I might say something about awaiting his decision as to the consequences for my behavior.

ps77

_____________________________

ps77
In the end everything will be okay.
If everything is not okay, then it's not the end.
Madness takes its toll...exact change only

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RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 5:46:46 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		If I did something wrong, accident or not and he said he was not angry with me for whatever I had done wrong, I personally would just drop it.   If he is not angry with me and doesn't feel that what I have done wrong deserves a punishment, I trust in his judgement.   I already know I am not perfect and I know that sometimes, I am going to make mistakes, if he forgives me for it, with or without punishment, I feel it's only right to forgive myself as well and get on with life and not stay there worrying about it.  

(in reply to disciplinedslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 6:04:22 PM   
lovewithoutfear


Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		I sometimes ask for punishment if I've done something wrong.  If he is displeased with me, that is almost always punishment enough to make REALLY not want to do whatever it was again.  But even if that is so, sometimes I feel the need to have my attitude adjusted, which is a legitimate function of punishment.  He has instructed me to make my needs and feelings known to him, so it is then up to him to decide what to do about it.  And sometimes when I ask for a punishment, he'll decide that seems like a good idea and punish me even if he would not have done so otherwise.  He says this is not topping from the bottom, because the decision is still his.  If I were to withhold that kind of information from him, that would be topping from the bottom according to our relationship definitions.

Punishment can help both of us feel better about something that happened, and our level of trust and clarity is such that he doesn't feel threatened if I respectfully point this out sometimes.

(in reply to disciplinedslave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 6:20:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A lot of slaves need catharsis and atonement, it's quite normal.

I'll go along with it to a certain extent, but only if I see the guilt issues lessen over time as we work through them.  I'm not a permanent outlet for their guilt and I won't enable that useless waste of energy.  They need to be focused on improvement, understanding, and being happy together- not their own selfish perfectionism.

Oh and while I'll feel badly if I've done something to cause another to feel unhappy, and I certainly am a perfectionist who over worries and takes things too seriously- I don't do the guilt thing. 

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/24/2007 6:21:48 PM >

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 7:16:57 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		I have asked for punishment.

I have begged for punishment.

And thanked Master afterward.

Of course all of this was at his command.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 7:20:16 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I dont want my boy asking for puishment.  If he has screwed up to where I think he needs it, he wil get it. If he hasnt, then either he has to correct his own behavior since he thinks something is wrong, or he has to deal with the idea that I am not happy. The guilt of displeasing me works better at correcting some situations than an actual punishment ever could.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 7:24:31 PM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Sadisitc Man.. are you saying Im not a real slave becuase I dont ask for punishment... Im sorry but as a slave I dont feel its my place to ask for a punishment if Master felt I needed one he would give me one and me asking for one simply says I dont trust his judgment in the matter. I feel the same as the Op that if I do something I feel is wrong that I like to be punshed for it because it takes the guilt away, but I also know Master knows that and I also feel I need to trust Master in his desitions and that if he doesnt feel I need punishment then that at this point is enough of a reason for me not to feel guilty... if Master doesnt feel I need punishment then I have done nothing to feel guilty about!!

Magik's slave


excuse me, was I talking to you?
just something to whine about eh ?

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 7:25:21 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It sounds like to me that you need "confession" rather than punishment. Some ritual that you do after telling him what happened. Perhaps he can play on this and get some shiny boots out of it?

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to disciplinedslave)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 7:26:52 PM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline 		why does a Catholic go to confession?     to get punished !!  duh

And don't give me a bunch of shit, I went to Catholic Schools, with real
nuns and I'm quite the masochist myself, so save it.

(in reply to SadisticMan)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 7:32:33 PM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline 		yes, it's all about self improvement and being a perfect slave.
that's fine if you want that.

My idea of self improvement is building my retirement funds and
playing often with a sub, and yes, I'll punish you all you want.
Live it up, have fun, feel good, stop worrying

(in reply to SadisticMan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: seeking puishment/penence - 4/24/2007 8:15:11 PM   
BondageTopJere


Posts: 170
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:


My idea of self improvement is building my retirement funds and
playing often with a sub, and yes, I'll punish you all you want.
Live it up, have fun, feel good, stop worrying


Just effing awesome.  Thats a real no BS attitude.

(in reply to SadisticMan)
Profile   Post #: 20
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