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RE: Re: Advice - what constitutes quality advice to you? - 4/25/2007 11:05:58 AM

SirDominic

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When it comes to giving advice, I try very, very hard not to, unless it is asked for. Sometimes though it is impossible to keep my mouth shut when I see someone I care about making really bad decisions. Still overall, I firmly believe we all have the gods given right to screw up our lives any way we want to.

When my advice is asked for, I will consider the person asking. An individual's personality makes a huge difference, not so much in my advice, but in how much I am willing to tell them. I tend to go with the "less is better" approach, except for the people I know very well who I know want to hear my complete opinion. I also make it clear they are going to hear what I think, whether it is what they want to hear or not. It always amuses me about people who say they want to hear my honest opinion, and when I give it, they are insulted.

I ask advice of people whose opinions and wisdom I have learned to trust. Anyone who offers me advice unsolicited, my first thought is what their motivation is. I will almost always listen to anyone who seems to honestly want to help, even if they are, in my opinion, very wrong. It can be helpful, as it allows me to see something from a completely different point of view. A different perspective, even if I don't agree with it, can still be helpful if it takes me down a new path of thought.

Advice given is a big responsibility, that can have real life consequences. I try to always be aware of the possible consequences of my advice.

Pretty much, the more someone goes around giving advice left and right, the less I tend to trust their opinions. It's also dangerous that one not fall into the trap of offering advice in place of dealing with your own problems. I have known people like this, too.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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You teach best what you have lived.

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RE: Re: Advice - what constitutes quality advice to you? - 4/25/2007 11:15:56 AM

SusanofO

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I really appreciate the thoughtful reponses I've received on this thread.
Thanks for the replies, I always appreciate people's individual personalities in their responses, and it's been helpful and interesting to read.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/25/2007 11:17:48 AM >

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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Re: Advice - what constitutes quality advice to you? - 4/25/2007 1:30:02 PM

MasterGremlin

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I tend to listen more to someone who has an open honest opinion about their own experience as it relates to my question as well as those who realize the two great things about advice are:
1) it's free
2) you don't have to take it

Sincerely,
minxy

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RE: Re: Advice - what constitutes quality advice to you? - 4/25/2007 2:28:27 PM

LadyPact

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Susan... Wonderful topic that you've brought, as always.

The idea of giving advice is easy, when it's asked for. Sometimes, even when it's not. This is especially true if I've found Myself in the other person's position before. What worked, what didn't work, mistakes I've made. If they can be helpful to someone else, unless they don't want them, there's no reason not to share in the hopes it might assist. The other part of this concept is true as well. Whether it's advice or not, sometimes, it's just good to know that somebody else has been in the same shoes.

When do I take advice? Fairly often, if I've needed it. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that there was always going to be someone out there who knew more about any particular than Me. Always someone with more knowledge, more experience, more ability than Me. I didn't wake up one day and decide that I knew all of the answers. People who have gotten past whatever issue I'm facing are the ones that I listen to the most.

On that point, unlike what some others have said, good advice doesn't necessarily have to come from someome who knows Me. At times, the best advice can come from a perfect stranger, because they don't know Me and therefore are looking at the facts and taking the "Me" somewhat out of the equation. Not necessarily a friend who is being there for the emotional part of it and telling Me what I want to hear. More likely, they will tell Me what I need to hear.

Very interested in hearing some of the other points of view.

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