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a subs view - 4/25/2007 2:22:43 PM   
stormy2004


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		I don't post on bulletin boards much but have something to say...and I don't want it to sound like those whiney wannabes that say they are a sub/slave and haven't the faintest idea what that means. Just because a woman or man is a submissive/slave doesn't mean that we check our brains at the door. We are real people, who for the most part are intelligent and aren't doormats.

I want to address Doms on this site simply "looking for a sub/slave" to 'hook up with and use' with no intention of  honesty or relationship.

I want to say just because I am an older sub/slave doesn't mean you can write one liners like,"I want to come over, pull your hair and slap you," or completely useless questions like, "How much do you juice?" 

This one is my favorite from wannabe dominants: "You are too cautious..." There is no such thing as being too cautious in this day and age. You have no idea who you are talking to online. Just because I didn't want to F.....k & S....k. and play the first meeting doesn't mean I am not serious.

I am a sub but that doesn't mean I will meet, lay down and open my legs. I'm looking for a Master who is caring and polite, not a jerk. Being older doesn't define me as desperate -- it means I discovered the 'lifestyle' later in my life.

So please if you are just looking for sex 'hook up' with someone else. If you are honest and mature and not a wannabe then by all means send me a post.

Thank you for letting me post here.
storm2004
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 2:56:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		How is letting you know up front that they want a sex hook-up not being honest?

I'm mature and not a wannabe (I think) and I still enjoy sex hook ups when I can.

And they CAN write whatever dorky emails they want...whether it will endear you towards responding or not is up to you.

I understand your point, but it won't change what's going on.  I'm sorry you had some expectations that doms online would behave a certain way and found out they obviously don't.  They will continue to behave that way.  The only thing to do is ignore what doesn't work for you and enjoy the rest.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 3:08:29 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		i REALLY understand your frustration here....like i've said before...just because you are a sub, doesnt mean you are sub to every man that calls himself a Dom or Master. like what was already mentioned by LuckyAlbatross, just delete and block and don't reply to the offesive butt heads

< Message edited by imthatacheyouhav -- 4/25/2007 3:09:24 PM >

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 3:20:03 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

How is letting you know up front that they want a sex hook-up not being honest?

I'm mature and not a wannabe (I think) and I still enjoy sex hook ups when I can.

And they CAN write whatever dorky emails they want...whether it will endear you towards responding or not is up to you.


i agree wholeheartedly.

stormy, at least they are not attempting to endear themselves to you in order to THEN try to use you for sex once they've gained a foothold. you don't have to accept that behavior; just ignore, don't respond, or block, and move on.

annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 3:33:44 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		A subs view. By which you mean, 'your' view of course. Which appears to be different to some of the dom's you have been hearing from.

You've established you have a brain, you have limits, and your exercising both. Well done.

There are ignore buttons on web sites, polite 'no thankyou's' for real life, i dont see what your issue is? Ive had many a happy hour sucking and fucking, with no intension of EVER committing to my selected play partner. Its just fun. That doesnt make me a wanna be. It simply makes me a sexually active person i thought. But whilst im having a ball, there is a chance that Mr/Mrs right could be in the mix. And he was, and i found him by slutting it up and having a ball.

Wanting to fuck someone on the first date, does not = wannabe i guess is my point.
littleone

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 3:49:16 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings to All...
 
I think I may be missing something...or perhaps I'm not..
 
I probably get as many as the average sub's quota of emails per day..and I think I'm heading toward the older end of the spectrum with age...
 
But I cannot remember any emails being offensive, (maybe one from the plastic surgeon...but I think he was giving a compliment.*grin*..I think)
 
Generally, I find humor, good will effort, but not offense.

I've never had to even look for an ignore button...
 
what am i missing here?
 
always,
~curious~

< Message edited by curiouslyseeking -- 4/25/2007 3:52:00 PM >

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 5:17:59 PM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline 		If you are simply "venting" then I totally understand your frustration and sympathize with you. If you are in fact hoping that your rant will "change" people then I think you are wasting your time and energy. You cannot change or control how people "online" approach you via email. What you can do is control "how you react to it". There is a wonderful "Block" button that works great. Laugh at the silly emails as you hit the button instead of getting upset. If someone says something to you that you think is inappropriate then you do not have to respond or ever say anything to them again. That is the wonderful thing about the internet, you can pick and choose what you want to subject yourself to.

Good Luck!

Tigress~FL

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 5:24:30 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		i agree with LuckyAlbatross pretty much and before i wasn't looking anymore i would say to those types "Sorry, we are seeking a different goal in this lifestyle and good luck"...but sometime i used to get frustrated too and send back a really sarcastic response but realized it isn't worth my time in the end to get bent out of shape!...

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 5:41:35 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormy2004

I don't post on bulletin boards much but have something to say...and I don't want it to sound like those whiney wannabes that say they are a sub/slave and haven't the faintest idea what that means. Just because a woman or man is a submissive/slave doesn't mean that we check our brains at the door. We are real people, who for the most part are intelligent and aren't doormats.

I want to address Doms on this site simply "looking for a sub/slave" to 'hook up with and use' with no intention of  honesty or relationship.

I want to say just because I am an older sub/slave doesn't mean you can write one liners like,"I want to come over, pull your hair and slap you," or completely useless questions like, "How much do you juice?" 

This one is my favorite from wannabe dominants: "You are too cautious..." There is no such thing as being too cautious in this day and age. You have no idea who you are talking to online. Just because I didn't want to F.....k & S....k. and play the first meeting doesn't mean I am not serious.

I am a sub but that doesn't mean I will meet, lay down and open my legs. I'm looking for a Master who is caring and polite, not a jerk. Being older doesn't define me as desperate -- it means I discovered the 'lifestyle' later in my life.

So please if you are just looking for sex 'hook up' with someone else. If you are honest and mature and not a wannabe then by all means send me a post.

Thank you for letting me post here.
storm2004


I have to say I agree with L.A..  Like it or not, stormy...when they tell you that they are looking for a sub/slave to hook up with and have sex/play with no strings, they are being a helluva lot more honest than those dominant who are looking for that...but tell you all the things you want to hear.

I am sorry if you have been burned by those who choose to behave in that manner but it strikes me that the first group is the more honest of the two. 

I would have to say the same about those who tell you that you are too cautious...that is their opinion and they are entitled to it.  If they are wrong in your mind, well then...they are wrong in your mind.  Not...apparently...in theirs. 

The fact that they are honest about wanting sex/play upfront does not necessarily make them wannabes.  This may be the type of D/s they are looking for....insignificant yet intense one night/week/month stands.  Not my cup of tea and apparently not yours...but as long as they are honest about what they want upfront, you can always tell them no.

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 5:58:13 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Fortunately, I have not had any of those emails I would consider offensive. As curiouslyseeking has stated, I've only run into honest efforts. But I can see the point the others make. At least they are being up front with their desires. I've always said, if you're going to hurt me, do it with the truth. A lie hurts twice.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 6:00:46 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

I've always said, if you're going to hurt me, do it with the truth. A lie hurts twice.


Greetings kitte9..
 
I love these words!
 
~curious~

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 6:57:39 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline 		This one is my favorite from wannabe dominants: "You are too cautious..."

2 observations ~~
1.) The statement "you are too cautious..." does NOT equate to a wannabe in "my" book 
2.) Sometimes the nicest guys come across as weird, wannabe or perv (HNG) at first.  Its your call whether you politely respectfully respond as a human being... 

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 7:06:54 PM   
smcontrol


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		Men you meet online only interested in sex.  I'll alert the media.

_____________________________

Michael

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills."


Ernest Hemingway, 1929




(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 7:11:53 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		Being a Dominant who believes not telling the truth ever gets you anywhere I would just like to suggest, back away and take some time.  You joined recently.  a lot of idiots may write without even reading your profile when you first join so wait and see if things don't get better.  Just ignore the onces you do not want to talk to and hit the delete button on your received messages section or if they all appear to be coming from much younger guys or those from another country, use the mail systems options to throw them into your bulk folder.  Just an idea.

(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 7:18:43 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP..it is easy to bestow the title of wannabe on someone when you feel that their ideas do not coincide with yours..But always remember that your wannabe is someones Dominant/Top or whatever..I too came to this rather late in life and was as well more than willing to dub many males with the HNG/wannabe title..I now know better and try to view with less caustic an eye...Best wishes in finding your match..Tempting

(in reply to smcontrol)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 7:44:00 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smcontrol

Men you meet online only interested in sex.  I'll alert the media.


Thanks for the giggles.



To the Op, all I can say is lighten up.  No one forces you to open any of the notes you receive here.  No one forces you to respond to them.  We all get silly one linners, or "hey, wanna see my cock?" notes.  If your offended by them, delete them, block the sender and don't think twice about them.

I dunno, I must be becomming jaded, because I read posts like this and all I can think is "Get over yourself" .  Even if the poster seems nice, part of me thinks they post posts like this because they arn't getting the attention they want and are seeking it through a "hey look at me I get so many notes" post. 

I try to stay clear of posts like this if I can spot them in the title, this title was unexpected for me..


Edited to add: i guess I'm just lucky, most of my notes are not offensive.  Most of the notes I receive either crack me up by sheer silliness of the one linner, or are from people who seem to be really nice.  I know when a Dom sends me an email asking about what game I'm playing, he is most likely looking for an "in" so to speak.  But I always respond so they have no "in" but in a conversational tone.  In doing so I've met some really nice people that if I were to meet on the street I'd feel comfy greeting them.  So, maybe I just haven't had the bad experience that so many other subs have had, I dunno.
~dancer

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 4/25/2007 7:53:46 PM >

_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to smcontrol)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 7:55:21 PM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		I got an email today offering me a deal on Viagra, and I don't need it. What's up with that?

(in reply to desertdancer)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: a subs view - 4/25/2007 9:25:42 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I understand completly what you are saying.  It is frustrating, to be told you are not a "real" sub/slave because you wont ________ (fill in the blank with whatever expectation).  This all during a first conversation online/on the phone or meeting.

However as others have said at least these dudes are being honest with what they are looking for.  That is certainly a way of looking at the glass half full.

There are a ton of frogs in all walks of life. 

All the best in your search

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to stormy2004)
Profile   Post #: 18
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