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Newbe to the life - 4/25/2007 7:26:27 PM

columbo68

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/2/2007
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Why is it that the sub is not your lover? I have this read this many times. Cannot they be the same or is there always a difference? It does not seem to be the same with male DOMS. Just curious.
thanks

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/25/2007 7:38:30 PM

Kitte9

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Good question. Let me know when you have the answer.

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/25/2007 7:42:56 PM

Argentopal

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My sub-boys are not my lovers because that is not the type of relationship I desire with them, period.

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/25/2007 7:53:24 PM

pixelslave

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Joined: 8/19/2006
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It really depends on the woman and the dynamics of the relationship. If that's what you seek, then you're looking for what is referred to as a "loving dominant". There are plenty of women out there who are dominants that also consider their submissives as their lovers. While there are always exceptions, for most that I am aware of and in my own experience, the woman usually is still primarily the one in control when that kind of intimacy happens.

Each D/s relationship is different. They are definitely not all the same. Take the time to find what you seek, especially if that kind of emotional connection is what you need. Personally, I wouldn't want it any other way.

- pixel

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/26/2007 4:47:51 AM

earthycouple

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Oh my.....I have certainally had subs who were lovers. I enjoyed them all very much. Today I am married and my husband and I choose to have a limit between us that goes as such: No actual intercourse (defined as penis in vagina) unless the spouse is ok with it. If the spouse wants to watch or join the spouse is welcome. Beyond that I do what I please. I still consider my subs lovers as we are VERY intimate in many many ways.

D~

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/26/2007 5:59:33 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: columbo68

Why is it that the sub is not your lover? I have this read this many times. Cannot they be the same or is there always a difference? It does not seem to be the same with male DOMS. Just curious.
thanks

My slave is my slave -- that is the foundation of our relationship.

He is also my friend, my assistant, my lover, my partner, my pet and anything else I want him to be.

But saying that he is "my lover" as a title or a description of the relationship itself is misleading because when I see the phrase "my lover" I think one of two things: relationship of equals (which we are not) OR relationship for sex (which it is not).

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/26/2007 8:19:45 AM

TigressFL

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Joined: 6/8/2006
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If I own the person they will be my slave, my lover, my friend, my companion, etc. If I am simply educating the person or playing with them then rarely are they my lover. I also agree with TammyJo as I would never refer to my slave as my lover.

Tigress~FL

edited to add information.

< Message edited by TigressFL -- 4/26/2007 8:20:56 AM >

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RE: Newbe to the life - 4/26/2007 8:30:26 AM

AAkasha

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I've had both types of relationships, where the man I dominate is also my lover as well as fairly platonic relations. It really is a matter of taste and preference. My style of domination is very sensual and sexual. Whether or not I get intimate with a man is more a matter of my level of attraction to him and the nature of our relationships (casual friends? No sex, sorry. Boyfriend? You bet.)

There are some submissive men that really don't care as much about intercourse anyway; they'd much rather be taken by a strap on any day of the week, and locked in a chastity harness the other days. That's fine with me also!

Akasha

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