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RE: Time restrictions - 4/28/2007 7:55:59 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
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Daily rituals help a lot for me when we are crushed for time. Whether it is sending an e-mail with a report of how much I got done each day, or calling him with a required voice intro "Sir, this is your girl" at least once a day, those things help keep the D/s alive.

My daughter is only here a few times a year, so most of the year we are also fairly free to set time and date and have a "D/s date" if we need - go to a play party, or a weekend at home with full time D/s - though schedules still make it hectic.

(in reply to Stranger1)

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RE: Time restrictions - 4/28/2007 8:41:37 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MellowSir

Just wondering as to the various way that doms and subs both manage to weave d/s and bdsm into their lives when one or both work so much, and/or have children to care for? I've only been into the lifestyle for some few years and am interested in what those with more experience think are the best ways to work around such a busy world, thanks...

i get off work early in the afternoon, and depending on my Dom's schedule he usually will meet me at my place and we'll talk for a few minutes and than immedantly (spelling??) start play for a few hours. Some days he has open and we can play several times a week, and sometimes he has such a busy schedule that we'll try to play at least once during the week. But on the weekends we have our own space and time to wind down from the long week.

(in reply to MellowSir)

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RE: Time restrictions - 4/29/2007 8:31:38 AM

canupleaseme

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Joined: 7/9/2006
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Managing a D/s dynamic is really hard for us sometimes. We currently live 3 hours away from each other and he is sitting his finals at uni. I have one U.M and very little help with childcare. When I know he is coming over I make sure that for the first day and night of his visit we are U.M free so I can restore the D/s balance that does slide sometimes being apart a lot. Then when the u.m is back I guess it is kind of 50's style but reveresed, my u.m just sees mummy being looked after nicely by her boyfriend. When its bedtime and my u.m is firmly asleep we stick the music on (not too loud) and put a chair to the door lol and make the best quietly of the time we have. It does actually work really well. When he moves in soon becasue I work part time and he will work from home we will have daytimes during school hours for play.
Who we are and what we mean to each other never goes away though in everything we do be it kinky or vanilla I wear the trousers in our family

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RE: Time restrictions - 4/29/2007 8:51:24 AM

MsCece2u

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Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
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It can be difficult at times. I have children and my boy works long hours and has an elderly parent that he is taking care of. We try to schedule one day a week to have our time. However it doesn't always work. W/we maintain the dynamic by daily phone conversations and he has tasks that he is expected to do each day.

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RE: Time restrictions - 4/29/2007 11:58:14 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Same here. Both of us are very busy. My Master works two jobs - one full time, one part time, but the part time job takes a huge amount of his time and effort. On the other hand, I have family members who are old enough now to make decisions as to when they want to stay home from their father's and when they don't. They can change their minds on a whim and then, all bets for us are off. Anything different and they begin to feel like they are just being shuffled from place to place to make it easier on their mom and dad and that's something I never want them to feel. Even so, it happens from time to time.

In addition to this, each of us has our own personal leisure interests which neither of us are willing to give up - although from time to time, we do share them with each other. In addition to THIS, I'll be starting training for a new job soon, so that'll be more time we need.

I have school related interests that I do as a mom. I'm a football and wrestling mom and volunteer for my adult daughter's school when I can. I tutor the woman across the street as she works toward her high school diploma and help cook meals for the man next door to her who spends all his time visiting his wife at the nursing home because she has parkinsons and can't be home.

My Master has god-children (29 or 30 to be precise) whose lives he's actively involved in as well as other community activism and volunteer organizations that he is active in, and often holds leadership positions (so more time spent there too).

Somehow, we make it all fit. We accommodate all this by being flexible, talking on the phone on a schedule twice a day on most days, seeing each other later in the evenings on weekends, and sometimes, if necessary, waiting for long periods in between when we can see each other.

We know the relationship we have and neither of us are in any danger of suddenly succombing to the whim of "I could do better." Truth is, we're perfect for each other. And even when the imperfections show up, we're grateful for them as well, because they always give us another opportunity to actively choose each other. And we always do.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 4/29/2007 12:11:19 PM >

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RE: Time restrictions - 4/29/2007 8:30:24 PM

akbarbarian

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Joined: 12/19/2006
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The alternative is to not compromise. You've heard the phrase looked for of "uncompromising Master"? It's not enough that the one I own yields to me, our life must not provide resistance to the dominance and life I want to lead either. That means no job, no friends, no family is allowed to come first before the M/s. Sure that means designing life around that concept, but there are ways when it is what matters most to you. Consider Olympic athletes who make sacrifices so they can compete. Compromises are only necessary when you want more things than you can completely accommodate. For me, this also means not having children because I'm not about to water things down or pull a veil over what matters most to me. There is also some pain involved in walking this path, but it is the only way I can truly be who I am in the utmost.

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