questions to ask your potential Dominants

questions to ask your potential Dominants (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

blueeyesbear -> questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 7:02:25 AM)
How long have you been in the lifestyle? What type of experience do you have? Did You have a mentor, teacher, how did You learn? How many submissives have you had? What happened to end your last relationship? Are you still friends with your former submissives? What do you find is the most important aspect for you as a dominant? What is your philosophy on being a dominant, and/or what is your personal mission statement? Do you ever own more than one submissive at a time or would you? What is the biggest rush for you? What kind of control do you like to have over your submissive in their daily lives? Are you looking for just a playmate, ownership, or a 24/7 real time relationship? How much communication and time do you give to your submissive when you are not together and how? What do you require and/or expect from your submissive? What is your position on fulfilling the needs of your submissive? What do you feel is the most important aspect in a relationship with a submissive? How do you make sure that those aspects are obtained? What is a dominant's primary function? How do you create the desire to surrender without placing it on the level of your own needs? What does subspace mean to you? What do you seek in a submisssive? - or What do you look for in a submissive? How often do you like to get together with your submissive real time? Would you consider yourself more a sadist, or more the opposite type of dominant? What are your favorite types of play? What are your likes and dislikes? Describe one of your methods of discipline and an example of when you'd use it? What is your preferred method of punishment? (I said before it is for safety reasons )

TheDiva -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 7:07:09 AM)
These are good questions, especially in contrast to some of the other questions I've had posed to me. When a submissive asks about my history, mindset, style, goals, knowledge, and interests outside the lifestyle instead of just asking if I do x, y, and z, I take that into consideration.

Asraii -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 7:36:21 AM)
You forgot the most important one though. Do you have a job and have you held this job for more than a year [8D]

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 7:42:52 AM)
I would also ask if I were a slave seeking,have you ever own a girl before and have you ever release one and why?...BH

CypherEnigma -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 7:47:01 AM)
Very nice questions. Thank you. They give me ideas on things to think about.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 7:50:14 AM)
Nice starting list. http://www.collarchat.com/m_2173/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#2173 What do you ask? http://www.collarchat.com/m_122762/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#122762 negotiation http://www.collarchat.com/m_151960/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#151960 questions http://www.collarchat.com/m_137841/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#137841 getting to know a new dom http://www.collarchat.com/m_131518/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#131518 allowed to ask questions http://www.collarchat.com/m_241888/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#241888 questions to ask potential dom http://www.collarchat.com/m_399121/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#399121 questions for potential doms http://www.collarchat.com/m_397609/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#397609 bit of a question...on questions http://www.collarchat.com/m_518169/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#518169 what to ask http://www.collarchat.com/m_542207/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#542207 questions to ask a potential mistress http://www.collarchat.com/m_719243/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cask/tm.htm#719243 when finding a dom/master

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 8:44:18 AM)
forgot to add: what other interests do you have besides BDSM? do you enjoy activities outside this lifestyle? do you do for fun? what is a typical weekend like for you? does my sexual orientation and/or preference matter in this relationship? do my opinions / concerns count?

Casie -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:09:55 AM)
Sounds like you have pretty darn good foundation to work with

KatyLied -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:10:35 AM)
Here's a question I like to ask: Are you married or otherwise involved in an on-going relationship?

justheather -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:12:41 AM)
Yeah these are all great questions if you want to approach your potential life partner in the same manner you would a candidate for a receptionist's position. No thanks. How about good old-fashioned get to know you conversation and (here's a shocker) spending time getting to know one another? When someone is a good match for you, the conversation naturally flows toward revealing all of these things and more. If you have to set up a job interview to get this information from someone, chances are you are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole anyway. And unless that's your kink (nothing wrong with it, just sayin), you're setting yourself up for disappointment regardless. I don't routinely hand all my inner thoughts, feelings, values, hopes, dreams, fears and secret desires over to someone in an interoffice envelope over coffee. And I wouldnt dream of expecting that from another person.

MistressNoName -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:31:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justheather Yeah these are all great questions if you want to approach your potential life partner in the same manner you would a candidate for a receptionist's position. No thanks. How about good old-fashioned get to know you conversation and (here's a shocker) spending time getting to know one another? When someone is a good match for you, the conversation naturally flows toward revealing all of these things and more. If you have to set up a job interview to get this information from someone, chances are you are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole anyway. And unless that's your kink (nothing wrong with it, just sayin), you're setting yourself up for disappointment regardless. I don't routinely hand all my inner thoughts, feelings, values, hopes, dreams, fears and secret desires over to someone in an interoffice envelope over coffee. And I wouldnt dream of expecting that from another person. Actually, I disagree with the idea that he would be setting himself up for disappointment by asking these or other questions like them. Also, he's only presented questions, he didn't suggest a way to deliver them...He very well could ask those questions in interview fashion or he could weave them into every day conversation. Personally, I would very much welcome a potential who asked me such questions. They would go a long way in showing me that he in fact is quite serious about the Lifestyle and that he has given some thought about what he is looking for and what he hopes to avoid. Those are some of the best questions I've seen around. And really, there are so many male subs out there where the only question they can muster is, "please, Goddess (Highness, Grand-Puhbah-ess, whatever) I'd like to worship you...How would you like me to please you?...Which, don't get me wrong, is a perfectly legitimate question once a command structure has already been established, but is a bit too presumptuous for my taste right out of the box. And I've gotten this question far too many times. Bottomline, it all depends on the situation and the dom/me in question whether those questions would go over well, but I really can't see anything that would turn me off about them. The only issue would probably be in timing and whether I felt enough time had passed and I was interested enough in the individual to answer the questions. MNN P.S. Additionally, "good old-fashioned" conversation often feels much too "vanilla" to me and I avoid it at all cost. Again, a personal preference.

justheather -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:37:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressNoName Actually, I disagree with the idea that he would be setting himself up for disappointment by asking these or other questions like them. Actually, I said that if you need to formulate an interview in order to get this information (as opposed to feeling the "click" that makes conversation flow naturally), you most likely are not compatible with the person you are interviewing and therefore would be setting yourself up for disappointment anyway. But feel free to disagree, that's what makes the world interesting. What works for me obviously doesnt work for everyone. I can not, for example, imagine a life without conversation and have never, to my knowledge, capitalized the word "lifestyle". I think we are talking about very different types of relationships.

SirDominic -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:53:07 AM)
These are all good questions and in the end the answers are not as important as how they are given. Is he comfortable and open talking about himself and his desires? As you get to know one another does his actions match his words? These are the things that will give you real answers. I also agree with justheather, that this should not be conducted like an interview, and absolutely not over the Internet. Being there in person, talking face to face is essential. I prefer a natural, flowing conversation, that incorporates these kind of questions with "normal" talk. A normal flow of conversation where you share each other's views, opinions, experiences. That will serve you so much better than handing them a typed list of questions. Namaste, Sir Dominic

MsBearlee -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 9:57:06 AM)
How is your health? Have you any STD? Do you use condoms?

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 10:01:37 AM)
how about....are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?.....LOL (just kidding) Great questions!.....and worth asking

leili -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 11:27:53 AM)
I think that these are all good starting questions and then if you want to know more about them once you get to know each other better you go from there. :) So all in all good set of questions for any sub/slave seeking, especially first timers.

Kitte9 -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 11:50:15 AM)
A lot to think about when speaking to a potential Dom/me. But good to think about nonetheless.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 12:59:30 PM)
i think you're assuming too much in the questions i posted in response to the original author. i never approached Daddy like He was interviewing for a job in fact it was Daddy who found me. we had long get acquainted chats about life to our jobs before there was any discussion about us becoming Daddy-daughter type of D/s.

littleone35 -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 1:05:55 PM)
They are good questions but i learned more about my Master in the 16 hours we spent taking before we played. Thing just cam up in conc\versation i did not have a checklist of questions. I learned about his other interest not just BDSM. So even though the questions are good i am not sure if i would use them as a guideline. Matt's littleone

jauntyone -> RE: questions to ask your potential Dominants (4/27/2007 2:16:43 PM)
Greetings I would have to agree with Justheather and say what ever happened to good old fashioned just getting to know someone. It seems awful cold and impersonal to be making out lists of questions that a person needs to ask someone who they are contemplating a relationship with. I wish you well melissa

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.076172E-02