Deal breakers.

Deal breakers. (Full Version)

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temptressofsouls -> Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 11:50:47 AM)
You're knee-deep in your search for the "perfect" Dom/sub/switch, or what have you, and you think you've found the right person. You (or they) have iniated contact, perhaps you've talked a few times online, or on the phone, and maybe have even met in person once or twice. Things are going swimmingly, and you cant wait to see/talk to them again. You get along well and have a lot of similar interests, perhaps. But then, during casual conversation, they mention: the DEALBREAKER. Something about them, or something they like, sends you screeching to a halt and high-tailing it in the other direction. What is it, and why? Or, conversely, YOU are that "other person" and something YOU said makes people turn and run. What is it? When I was searching, it included: marriage, another relationship, drugs, smoking, heavy electroplay. I have a Dominant friend, whenever He mentions His main fetish, hypnosis, the people run away faster than anything.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 11:53:06 AM)
I personally wouldn't start thinking someone was "the right one" for a good long while after all those general talks which would eliminate almost all the "deal breakers" Until then they'd be a "potential candidate" http://www.collarchat.com/m_526440/mpage_1/key_breaker/tm.htm#526448 Deal Breakers http://www.collarchat.com/m_154756/mpage_1/key_deal%252Cbreakers/tm.htm#154756 deal breakers (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_950788/mpage_1/key_deal/tm.htm#950805 deal breakers (3)

temptressofsouls -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 11:53:54 AM)
Well, not the One necessarily...but heavily interested and enthused.

NakedGirlScout -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 11:54:58 AM)
Very interesting topic, temptressofsouls. I had quite a long list of deal-breakers, but the one which caused the most noise was that I wouldn't get involved with anyone who had ever been in a military or law enforcement career. The poor man who was informed of this very often reacted as if he'd been spit on, and it sometimes devolved into him screaming at me that I was unpatriotic, that I didn't deserve to live in a free country, etc. etc. All because I personally did not want to have a romantic relationship with this kind of background. Oh well, what can you do? :)

temptressofsouls -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 11:57:27 AM)
I had totally forgotten about that one, but it was one of mine as well. I once had Someone show up in His fatigues. Didnt send me running right away, but added to the other crap that he was slinging, it all added up.

SardonicAss -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:00:03 PM)
Why don't you like cops or military? That has to be the strangest dealbreaker I've ever heard.

temptressofsouls -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:03:53 PM)
Cops are ok, theoretically. I've never been involved with one. But the military thing is just a personal preference. In this area, we have a decent amount of military, and I've watched a lot of people go in and come back....The military changes people, in a bad way. I dont mean to be vague, but its not the same for everyone, so I cant give you a laundry list. I just really dont think i'd be comfortable with someone military, with some exceptions.

NakedGirlScout -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:03:56 PM)
I like them fine... as friends or neighbors! Sorry, I'm not comfortable discussing my personal reasons on public boards, and feel no need to defend my preferences, but you're welcome to email my profile to discuss it if you'd like.

tornaway -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:08:12 PM)
Yes - there can be many unexpected hurdles to happiness ! As I'm seeking a partner, as well as someone to tie to my dining room table ( hee-hee) , finding out there's a spouse is a biggie with me . Or finding out on meeting that , in spite of a long list of things in common - in person there simply is no spark - no sense of real connection . Or they smell bad . Or they look nothing like their picture ( after I really liked their picture ) ! Or they make some sort of racist , or heavy duty religious statement during conversation . Or they disclose that they're living with their parents , or their 4 kids are living with them . "Uh - forgot to mention it earlier .. " But every now and then - sometimes - it all works ! [:)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:09:40 PM)
I wouldn't do enlisted either, marines, navy (despite all those hot navy boys in Annapolis, yum!), air force- ANYTHING which had such control over our lives to such an extent they could tell him to go away to dangerous places for months or years.

LadyMorghanna -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:10:04 PM)
I learned the hard way to be very careful of divorced men with preteen and teen daughters.

temptressofsouls -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:11:34 PM)
Is that just because the daughters get envious of the attention you're stealing? Or too much drama all around?

gypsygrl -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:12:09 PM)
I get real nervous when someone doesn't do what they say they're gonna do and it generally leads me to ask a lot of pressing questions. If I'm gonna submit to someone it means I have to have faith in their word. If they don't follow through on their words, I start having a lot of doubts.

mstrjx -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:14:44 PM)
I have dealbreakers when looking for another. Conversely, I probably am the embodiment of other's dealbreakers. It's the nature of the beast. What I have found the last few years is that the 'only' way to figure things out in a timely manner is to forget about 'getting-to-know-you' until you've ferreted out said dealbreakers, on both sides. If you can survive THAT, you might just have something there. But don't waste time getting 'involved' only to have things go awry later. Jeff

MariaB -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:51:55 PM)
Body odour and halitosis [:'(]

LadyMorghanna -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:58:15 PM)
Hello Temptressofsouls.....I married a man with a teen daughter. She was angry that mom and dad got divorced. She wanted dad all to herself. In the time we were married she went from angry to downright frightening. I have found since then that most children of divorced men want their parents back together and they are not ready to cut anyone new in their parent's life any slack. I don't need that kind of drama in my life.

Missokyst -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 12:59:15 PM)
Deal breakers... #5 Wanting to see me with an animal #4 "Is that your daughter? Wow she is hot. I have always wanted to do a mother daughter team" #3 "I have herpes, or some other STD" #2 Once we are together I really want you to become my slave.. And the number one deal breaker? #1.. GOR

temptressofsouls -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 1:15:48 PM)
Yeah, Gor was an all out full-stop NO for me, too. nods at LadyMorghanna I could see that happening, pretty easily. Though I know I personally wasnt that way as a teen-I was excited to have another woman to look up to. Too bad my stepmom's NOT one of those.

domiguy -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 1:28:35 PM)
Yep. On this site you might have a few more deal breakers than in your everyday walk through this world.....Hmmm...Deal Breakers uniue to this...Gor, Wiccans...Although there is something that would be fun about tangling with a witch as long as she was clean and didn't have an excessive amount of snails or such in her snatch. I think I will also being staying away from Druids...No idea why but just a guideline to go by....Also someone who has just been to damaged by life that makes them simply unpalatable, it does seem like there might be a tad bit more of that here than elsewhere.

m0rgan -> RE: Deal breakers. (4/27/2007 1:29:39 PM)
i list my details on my profile, i am an open book! on the other hand, everyone has a second set of books, don't they? if i revealed that i shagged stoats, played poker till i was broke and hung around mens toilets on sundays, just how many women would consider me (i would of course, be interested in the answer to that question, and it may lead to an approach!) but consider that question hypothetical for the moment!!

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