Jevousadore
Posts: 57
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
|
Hello, Michael....
Thank you for your reply.
I would like to clarify a couple of points.
You wrote:
Yes, the dominant has failed the submissive! Of course! He has come up short! If the dominant is scared to death of puppies and is being inundated by puppies and asks the submissive to kick them away ... (But, that's the whole "good reason" thing. You're trying to ridicule my beliefs by coming up with egregious scenarios) (as a side-note. I suggest you read sonnets 57 and 58 by Billy Shakespeare. That man knew service)
My comment about kicking puppies was simply an example and in no way meant to riducule. I could have used kicking other submissives as an example, something else I have no desire to do. That you feel I intentionally ridiculed you I apologize for. That you felt ridiculed is a feeling owned by you.
And thank you for the side-notes. I have read them in the past. However, I am not into "service" relationships, nor slavish mentality. I do not view D/s in the manner at all. That someone else desires it is perfectly fine, but I have little patience for that type of interaction.
No, again, it is up to the submissive to learn what kind of person the dominant is before just falling to their knees. If the dominants expectations do not surpass the submissive's "limitations", where is the conflict (except that you feel the need to make it seem like the onus is on the dominant)?
In my original post I stated " I agree that a submissive should "know" her Dom and what he needs. What I find interesting is that you never state that a Dom has the same responsibility." In other words, I consider it to be both their responsibilities, not just the Dominants. It is you that states it is all up to the submissive. Would this be you ridiculing me?
And the conflict comes into play when there is a lack of communication between both parties, and an expectation that one should just "know" how the other thinks and feels. How would you learn the difference between the expectations and the limitations without it? Again, if a submissive sets a limitation and the Dom has an issue with it, before entering into a "relationship" of any type, the Dom should be up front that at some point he may demand the act.
If she doesn't respect my position on what's right and wrong she shouldn't be serving me. As far as learning her values? She is held to my standards. If she doesn't measure up, she is not worthy of serving me.
That she would respect your position on what is "right and wrong" is a given. That she needs to measure up to your standards is also a given. But in order to give you any respect, she should have some standards of her own. Otherwise, where is the value in her respect? A person who has little respect for themselves is easily led. If you beat someone into submission and demand they call you "Supreme Being", is that respect, or is that fear? To be clear, I am NOT ridiculing here. My point is, how can you expect respect just by standing in front of someone and demanding it?
I wouldn't accept the service of someone who claimed to have "hard limits" a submissive doesn't dictate terms to me. She is in my life to make it easier. If she doesn't want to serve me, no one's chaining her to a radiator. Her portion is obedience; not judging my behavior.
If I ask her to kick those puppies away because they're biting my ankles and scaring me and she refuses, she's telling me that those little sons of a bitch are more important than I am to her. Pack your bags. here's yer sign. You're dismissed.
She is there to make your life easier, to be obedient, to kick away puppies that scare you. Her standards, her sense of right and wrong, her limitations, come across as of little value or concern to you. You would expect to be more important to her than all else, yet you seem to feel little responsibility for what occurs in the development of the relationship. I find this contradicts with my idea of what is "fair play and courtesy".
It comes back to my original point of concern regarding your previous post. If, in the beginning, you communicate all of your expectations, if you are upfront that you will accept no limitations, that you may come home and tell her to do something you know she finds distasteful to make a point, then you have taken responsibility for your contribution to the relationship. It would not come to a point of giving her a "sign" and dismissing her.
Obviously, Michael, we are galaxies apart in our expectations. And for the record, I always enjoy getting someone else's viewpoint, whether I agree with it or not. How boring to all be of the same mindset, yes? If it were that easy, there would be no need for collarme!
Respectfully,
jevousadore
_____________________________
“That little man in black says woman can’t have as much rights as man because Jesus wasn’t a woman. Where did your Christ come from? Where did He come from? From God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with Him.” - Sojourner Truth
|
RE: Hard Limits - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread