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How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 4:28:35 AM

infyniti

Posts: 37
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline

I have read recent threads of physical punishment, other types of punishment such as sending one home if they are late, etc. Well, Master and i have seemed to run into abit of dilemma on discipline. Considering we live together, he can't send me home ( his usual punishment prior to our meeting), he can't use corporal punishment as he knows that i will find that sub space and float. ( ahhh, the life of a pain slut) At times he feels he doesn't know what to do with situations that arise and has simply requested " pure obedience". Uh, huh, yeah right. No one is perfect.
Curious.... others out there who are in a similar relationship and how they deal with it? Oh yes, we also have an agreement whereas he will not withhold affection or attention from me as a form of punishment due to a bad experience or experiences i had in a prior relationship. ( we agreed to that when we first met years ago) Now he feels like his hands are "tied" so to speak, and i am very far from perfect.

Something we are working on.....

Post #: 1

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 5:03:21 AM

BobcatsLilMinx

Posts: 201
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

*grins* if you like the physical pain thing, how about he withholds that from you???

Or some other guy on here was talking about plucking his girl's pubic hair..... yeeeowwwwch.

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 2

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 5:31:19 AM

Kindred2Evil

Posts: 227
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

infyniti, just a question for you...
you're a pain slut and say that physical punishment will send you to subspace, I can see how that would happen, but what if you KNEW it was for punishment? Would that not change the way you look at what you are receiving? I've had some luck with using corporal punishment with masochistic submissives before...it took putting them in the right head space before it ever began. Simply telling the boy I was disappointed in what he had done, that he had let me down, then driving that home with some well placed swats has seemed to work in getting my point across. I never took it to the point where they were any where near subspace, just to the point where it really hurt. I also have one specific toy that is for punishment only, a very lovely paddle. This was a toy that they never got played with, and the very act of having to get this particular toy out of my chest seemed to help with the mind set.
I hope this helps some!

_____________________________

Her touch is on the breeze that brushes your cheek, Her voice rides the thunder as the storm breaks, Her tears will clean your heartache when the rains come, Her sun will light the darkest times when you feel alone...She is the Goddess.

(in reply to BobcatsLilMinx)

Post #: 3

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 6:26:42 AM

MasterMacKenzie

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

Bad lil submissive eh lassie... ?

I have had thes situation before.
solution: place the naughty lil submissive against the wall holding a quarter between the sheetrock and her nose. Start out with 15 mins increments and increase if needed. There are many forms of punishment that do not involve neglect or corporal punishment. Being tied down and made to watch your Master scene with another submissive for example. Tell your Master to purchase a book called, "Discipline for children 2-12", it is I have found to be very effective. Remember it is not that your Master wants to punish you, it is simply that you are not submitting as you said you would. With a little creative training, you can become to submissive your Master wants you to be. Good luck.

Master MacKenzie
Twisted Coordinator
www.twisted-evnets.com

Attachment (1)

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 4

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 7:01:38 AM

stripmaster

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

As with any child misbehavior is a sign of the Childs needs not being meet. As a Master I would take a long hard look for what’s missing. With a child they say quiet time brings good results without spanking. I too believe that if your sub is into pain then do the one thing that a sub can't stand. Put the quiet time on you! Go to your room lock the door, refuse to talk too and refuse to interact with your sub. In my experience two to four hours without the Masters, voice, touch, or seeing his smile, will drive home the message. Isn't that what the sub lives for, "your touch, the sound of your voice, your control over them” take these things away.

< Message edited by stripmaster -- 5/3/2005 7:03:08 AM >

_____________________________

Spare the rod and spoil the slave

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 5

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 4:23:09 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Well the Nanny would probably make you sit in the "naughty chair". He could withhold things that you enjoy like computer time, tv, orgasms, etc. He could also have you do some extra chores. I know one dom who likes his slave to do do "hard labor" chores like move a pile of rocks.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 6

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 5:54:13 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Send you home? is that it?
What about making you sleep on the floor? Or how about out in a Dog house in the back yard?
Not to mention orgasim denial and tieing you up forcing you to watch him masterbate and you not getting any.

I can give your master some ideas if you trust me telling him what I have in mind

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 7

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 6:01:22 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

This is something I've mulled over in the past, and finally in the end came up with what makes the most sense to me.

I think there is a disturbing trend towards treating submissives or slaves the way one would treat a child. While this is well and good for some sorts of relationships and situations (Ageplay comes to mind) it simply doesn't seem practical to me in the long term. As mentioned before, making your displeasure clear is an effective means of 'discipline.' It also afford the dominant a means of actually expressing his feelings ("I asked you to have dinner ready by six pm, and it is now seven. Sweetheart, I am very dissappointed in you." would be language harsh enough to make Gretchen piss her pants in fear and dispair, in my case.) Obviously this technique only works if the submissive has a sense of empathy for the dominant, and if overused can actually cause damage to the relationship.

Another issue at hand that is often overlooked, is that while a certain measure of discipline is necessary, the 'overuse' and 'excessive need' for discipline can be quite harmful to the relationship. Submissives are not children, they are adults and should be expected to be, at minimum, responsible for their own actions. There is truely no mechanism (legally) to force an adult to do something they refuse to do within a relationship. Thus, the concept of discipline eventually falls somewhere within 'RACK' or 'SSC' behavior.

For the original poster, if you are simply looking for suggestions to help your Dom motivate you, then some of those already mentioned are very effective. I would add the addition of distasteful responsibilities (scrubbing the toilet, writing essays, polishing everything metal in the house, polishing leather boots to mirrors - usually a 20 hour task in all - reading of very boring material, etc etc) are suggestions. If you are looking for ways for him to 'make' you obey, I would strongly consider how seriously you wish to continue with a Domination/submission style relationship with him. Not everyone who enjoys BDSM (or is even a 'pain-slut') is cut out for Ds roles. Are you truely sure this is what you desire with him?

Good luck

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 8

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 6:03:53 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Write down a "list" BE HONEST of things you HATE..
then give him that list as a "punnishment to-do list"
Do you have eating brocoli.. as a punnishment thats what YOU eat for a specified period of time..
etc.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 9

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 6:08:02 PM

MrKite

Posts: 94
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

I would try making her do something I know she does like, Like watch a football game or golf on TV. That way her punsihment is my pleasure

_____________________________

If it feels good, do it.

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 10

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/3/2005 10:32:28 PM

cellogrrlMK

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKite

I would try making her do something I know she does like, Like watch a football game or golf on TV. That way her punsihment is my pleasure

I believe you mean making me do something you know I do NOT like, etc.....

Right?

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 11

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/4/2005 4:20:43 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

I totally agree that corporal punishment will work *if* you set the right head-space to begin with - even though corporal punishment wouldn't be my first choice of handling this.

Subs generally have a great need to please and serve their Master and I'd simply punish her when necessary by not allowing her to please or serve me. Thirty minutes in the corner can have a powerful corrective effect on her attitude. You still have to set the correct head-space - ie that it's because her actions have displeased Master and you then follow up by forgiving all once she's served her punishment as expected; a clean slate....

You don't have to be super-creative to keep your girl in line - you simply note the things she likes and the things she doesn't and work from there. I've found a bit of "alone time" for her works very efficiently.... Not too much though, you don't want it to escalate to actual abandonment, either! Every sub I've had hates the corner and is why I tend to need it less and less.... Some simple corner rules can be no talking, no unnecessary movement, no wearing of BDSM gear such as cuffs etc, no seeking out eye contact - and for my part, I'll act like she's not even in the room until time's up....

Focus50.

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 12

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/4/2005 10:11:48 AM

ginger21

Posts: 173
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline

I'm a bit of a painslut as well. I was late when i went to see Him this past Friday, so He made me hold a quarter up against the front door with my nose for 30 minutes. All the while, He does things to make it hard (spanking me, kneading my butt, making me stand on one leg during it all). It makes me grumble much. >_<

< Message edited by ginger21 -- 5/4/2005 10:13:19 AM >

_____________________________

My Xanga!
What?
"I looked up,
and I was in your arms, and I knew that I was captured..."

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 13

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/4/2005 3:07:49 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Strip master did you listen at ALL. She said they do not do the with hold my time attention from her thing, and your post was all about withholding time and attention.

quote:

Oh yes, we also have an agreement whereas he will not withhold affection or attention from me as a form of punishment

(in reply to ginger21)

Post #: 14

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/4/2005 6:55:07 PM

Overlord218

Posts: 53
Joined: 1/26/2005
Status: offline

Of course, you'll have heard the one where the painslut saw a Dom walking towards her on the street. Falling to her knees at His feet, she said "Oh Master this slut has been bad and needs to be punished. Punish me Master?"

He looks down at her, strokes His chin, and replies... "No."... and walks off.

What can I say, I love paradoxes.

_____________________________

Overlord 218

A little pain is good for the soul. Ask any masochist.

(in reply to infyniti)

Post #: 15

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/6/2005 3:07:35 PM

DaddyNprincess

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/29/2005
Status: offline

I think sometimes punishment and playtime are often confused. All I need is to tell my baby girl I am disappointed in her and it's punishment enough, without confusing playtime. A form of phycologicial torture I guess, becouse I know her so well. Also I've found that with some pain sluts there is some device they don't like. For many it is a belt or strap, becouse of a childhood trama. This also could be used as a punishment without hittng subspace. And then there is humiliation and shame. Really your only limited by your own creativity. Just be sure not to confuse punishment and play.

(in reply to Overlord218)

Post #: 16

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/6/2005 5:42:26 PM

CitizenCane

Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Try a cold shower.

_____________________________

Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to DaddyNprincess)

Post #: 17

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/7/2005 1:32:34 PM

notlooking

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline

These are questions for unmarried single Doms--- Do you love your subs?

Do you love her for what they do for you or do you love her for who she is?

(in reply to CitizenCane)

Post #: 18

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/9/2005 7:37:56 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

i've tons of punishment ideas = ) One of the ones i learned from the military is physical endurance excercises. Keeping your arms lifted for ages until you think they'll fall off. i made my daugther who was in the midst of throwing a tantrum (and jumping up and down) to continue jumping.. she jumped and jumped until well.. all she could think about was not jumping. By the time she was done jumping up and down she was so happy to NOT be jumping she forgot completely about the reason for her tantrum.

There is taking restrictions away. Ya know Dr Phil said you need to find out what their "currency" is. Basically whats of value to them. What does your slave adore other then you? the internet, gardening, walking, tv? Restriction is good.

Have her write out 200 times i will not disobey. Have her write a 5 page essay on why she did disobey and why she wont anymore. Have her do something she finds gross and disgusting. Make her locate a hundred ugly slugs in the back yard. Have her dig a hole 10 foot by 10 foot (show you the hole) and then have her fill it back up. Have her do several of those. Take a really annoying page from a magazine or something and have her re write it word for word. (make sure there isnt copy and paste aviable) tell her if she wants to missbehave like a child you'll treat her like a child. Have her go to bed early. Restrict what kind of shows she's watching. Though its a kink for some, its not for others and tell her because she is acting like a baby, you'll treat her like one and throw her in diapers. That might catch her attention.

Allow her nothing but kneeling. As if she cant behave with out you she can wait on her knees for you. Kind of like your parents grounding you but not. If all you can do aside from your responiblities is kneel.... Take away her ability to miss behave. Keep her restrained. Keep her kneeling. Give her chores and tasks to keep herself occupied, take away her free time.

hope this helps

(in reply to notlooking)

Post #: 19

RE: How to deal with your submissive - 5/13/2005 5:05:22 AM

sassysilk

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline

LOL I'm the painslut type as well, so physical punishment doesn't work lol It's just fun! But, lemme tell ya... nothing sucks worse than my Master telling me I need to sit there and think about what I've done and that he'll come back to me when he feels I've had enough time to think about it.... talk about some extreme torture!! lol

He can always pull a Super Nanny and give you a naughty mat, corner, etc lol Btw I might be giggling, but I am being very sincere :)

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 20

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