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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:03:02 PM

Stranger1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

To be a Dominant, to be a Master, the buck stops there. You are the one in charge, the one responcible. Those who try to do this whilst under anothers control I will never see as doing more than playing at it. The buck doesn't stop there, they are Owned property, the buck stops with their Master.

100% means no time off, no time at which the dynamic is not in place, no time at which you are not Owned... ergo, no space to be properly Dominant, have that other dynamic.... something a switch can't do, not and remain a switch.

IMO... of course

I understand where you are coming from.
Let me pose this scenario-you have more than one slave-you are going away for a time, and put one in charge of the other. Is not then her Dominance in OBEDIENCE to you?

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:07:42 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
100% means no time off, no time at which the dynamic is not in place, no time at which you are not Owned... ergo, no space to be properly Dominant, have that other dynamic.... something a switch can't do, not and remain a switch.

Basically you are saying you don't think it's possible to be owned by oneAND to be able to be dominant to another- that for some reason dominating another negates the ownership dynamic?

I am not sure why you feel that way but at least it's honest. I can say that I simply know plenty of people who would say that they are IN exactly this sort of relationship and it doesn't affect the ownership at all.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:08:24 PM

MsBearlee

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Well, Sir... as usual LA said it better than I did.

IF the Dominant approved of it, allowed it, supported the idea...then it seems to me there is NO reason a submissive to one couldn't be Dominant to another.

Perhaps, as another here mentioned...the CEO of a corporation would be a similar example. Or... a mother perhaps; could a mother be both submissive and still in charge of the little ones ...albiet when you weren't looking?

I understand you wouldn't stand for such a relationship, but others find the Poly lifestyle perfectly acceptable.
B

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:15:13 PM

MsBearlee

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It’s odd for me to defend this, Raven. You may have heard me say before that I’m a submissive who Tops; because I find the idea of ‘switching’ so difficult I prefer not to use the term to define me. I know some do, but I just cannot imagine switching with the same person.

Still…I adore topping; and its good exercise! LOL For that reason alone, why wouldn’t my Dom be all for it?

I don’t know if I’ll ever be IN a Poly relationship; the idea, intellectually, appeals to me. Still, in all the years I’ve enjoyed both men and women, I’ve been monogamous, so perhaps it’ll never come up.

Part of this debate seems mixed up in those dynamics, as well. No?

Beverly

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:16:11 PM

Stranger1

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Conversely-it depends on the switch.

I'm a quiet guy, who likes peace and order. I was once in a thing with a girl who flip-flopped quite a bit. She just couldn't seem to decide-and I really didn't feel like deciding for her-I didn't take it to be my job. Things sort of became "combat zone" over my refusal to keep her in sub mode after a while. I finally just got exasperated one day and told her rather bluntly."Look, I'm a Top-whether I make a huge issue over it,or not. If you don't see me there, that's fine-you are free to find someone you like better." She did, then another, and another and...........

She seems to keep cycling through short term relationships-I feel badly for her. But.it's her choice, and there is nothing I can do about it-only she can.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:17:19 PM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1
I understand where you are coming from.
Let me pose this scenario-you have more than one slave-you are going away for a time, and put one in charge of the other. Is not then her Dominance in OBEDIENCE to you?

Whilst it would be useful for the beta slave to percieve the the alpha as Dominant, from My perspective the Alpha is not Dominant. she is working under My authorty, My Dominance and following My rules, running things to please ME not setting out her way.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:18:13 PM

Stranger1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1
I understand where you are coming from.
Let me pose this scenario-you have more than one slave-you are going away for a time, and put one in charge of the other. Is not then her Dominance in OBEDIENCE to you?

Whilst it would be useful for the beta slave to percieve the the alpha as Dominant, from My perspective the Alpha is not Dominant. she is working under My authorty, My Dominance and following My rules, running things to please ME not setting out her way.

Correct, but you have still granted her Dominance-it just happens to be yours.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:24:56 PM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1
Correct, but you have still granted her Dominance-it just happens to be yours.

Not hers, ergo SHE is not Dominant. she is still acting under MY control

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:26:09 PM

mstrjx

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I haven't looked at the other responses, but I'll throw this out.

I'm thinking your question is 'can' (not 'cannot') a switch be 100% submissive to one person, but dominant over others. The answer to 'that' is 'of course'. But to do so, the 'situation' would have to be in some way 'poly'.

If a poly situation isn't what is desired, another possibility is for some sort of 95/5 relationship, or at least in a 'topping' sense, where the one partner is submissive to the other, but each have their 'moments' of switchiness.

It depends on the 'needs' of the individuals involved, how much 'Domtime' each needs to sustain their relationship in a healthy way.

Jeff

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:29:10 PM

MsBearlee

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For some reason this has popped into my head. I was spending time with a slavish-type who liked the beatings I could give him…but begged me to ‘take control’ (behavior not unlike your girl’s, Stranger1?)

At first, I fumbled in my Dominance; and in fact left my profile pretty much as I re-did it after his final outburst. But, what I figured out was…I am a quiet kind of Domme, who will request what it is I want and just expects it to be so, while the slave might be a ‘fire n’ brimstone’ kinda guy who likes all sorts of FemDom-commotion and language. I’m just not there.

So…is it possible a Dom could be sort of the polar opposite of this ‘fire n’ brimstone’ kinda slave-guy; and like to rule with a firm tongue and iron fist? …just because D/s feels like that to him and he likes it; not because he’s in any way …overbearing or foolish. (In a lot of ways, I prefer this no-nonsense kinda guy; so I am not pointing fingers.)

Crap, I’m saying this all wrong; what I mean is…there are many, many ways to skin a cat.

B

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:33:07 PM

Stranger1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1
Correct, but you have still granted her Dominance-it just happens to be yours.

Not hers, ergo SHE is not Dominant. she is still acting under MY control

So she is an extension of you. I have had it so as well. But if I am directing a Dominant action, she still can Dominate another who consents. Which does not mean she NEVER Dominates.

Does that make sense?

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:33:25 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

To be a Dominant, to be a Master, the buck stops there. You are the one in charge, the one responcible. Those who try to do this whilst under anothers control I will never see as doing more than playing at it. The buck doesn't stop there, they are Owned property, the buck stops with their Master.

100% means no time off, no time at which the dynamic is not in place, no time at which you are not Owned... ergo, no space to be properly Dominant, have that other dynamic.... something a switch can't do, not and remain a switch.

IMO... of course

I agree. Just something about having to have someone's permission to dominate another so long as said domination doesn't interfear with the Dom's desire. So then the submissive being dominated by the permitted submissive's Dom just sort makes a mockery of it all. I'd simply call it topping.. not domination.. It's PLAYING. Just enjoy it for what it is, I guess.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:36:41 PM

Stranger1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

For some reason this has popped into my head. I was spending time with a slavish-type who liked the beatings I could give him…but begged me to ‘take control’ (behavior not unlike your girl’s, Stranger1?)

At first, I fumbled in my Dominance; and in fact left my profile pretty much as I re-did it after his final outburst. But, what I figured out was…I am a quiet kind of Domme, who will request what it is I want and just expects it to be so, while the slave might be a ‘fire n’ brimstone’ kinda guy who likes all sorts of FemDom-commotion and language. I’m just not there.

So…is it possible a Dom could be sort of the polar opposite of this ‘fire n’ brimstone’ kinda slave-guy; and like to rule with a firm tongue and iron fist? …just because D/s feels like that to him and he likes it; not because he’s in any way …overbearing or foolish. (In a lot of ways, I prefer this no-nonsense kinda guy; so I am not pointing fingers.)

Crap, I’m saying this all wrong; what I mean is…there are many, many ways to skin a cat.

B

Yes, this is why I let her continue on. We were poorly matched- it was more kind. I might say something like "Would you please get me a drink dear?"

It's not a request.

Now one who was a better match to me would just get it with a smile- rather than do this "make me" routine-and ruin my mood. I didn't want to play the way she did-very simple. I don't climb moutains or wrestle alligators either-too much effort.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:40:38 PM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1
So she is an extension of you. I have had it so as well. But if I am directing a Dominant action, she still can Dominate another who consents. Which does not mean she NEVER Dominates.

Does that make sense?

Not from here. She is a mouthpiece, the authority is Mine, not hers. She is mearly acting to pass on My wishes OR delegated to direct the beta to My wishes... both are serving Me, the Beta is not serving her. she is not Dominant.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:44:55 PM

Stranger1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1
So she is an extension of you. I have had it so as well. But if I am directing a Dominant action, she still can Dominate another who consents. Which does not mean she NEVER Dominates.

Does that make sense?

Not from here. She is a mouthpiece, the authority is Mine, not hers. She is mearly acting to pass on My wishes OR delegated to direct the beta to My wishes... both are serving Me, the Beta is not serving her. she is not Dominant.

As you wish then.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:50:39 PM

MsBearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1

"Would you please get me a drink dear?"

It's not a request.

Now one who was a better match to me would just get it with a smile- rather than do this "make me" routine-and ruin my mood. I didn't want to play the way she did-very simple. I don't climb moutains or wrestle alligators either-too much effort.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... I am so like that; on both sides of the coin! I would never ignore my Dominant were he to make such a request…and I’ve told people I have absolutely no interest in wrestling submission from them. There is something civilized about control still being polite.

Yes, I’m beginning to think this whole thing is based first on “Polly or not”. Perhaps it is only those who believe it is possible to love more than one, who can understand a person can be submissive to one and Dominant to another.

Oddly, bisexuality seems in this same camp; it’s impossible to be in a monogamous relationship a bisexual person because the very nature of their being means they cannot BE with one person? Bah!!!

In the same vein, I believe a submissive can dominate another…..and a CEO makes a great submissive.

Just me,
B

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:53:22 PM

MsBearlee

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Raven, Sir...

We will have to agree to disagree. I admire you far too much to turn this debate into anything else.

Fondly,
Beverly

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 4/30/2007 1:54:58 PM

Stranger1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stranger1

"Would you please get me a drink dear?"

It's not a request.

Now one who was a better match to me would just get it with a smile- rather than do this "make me" routine-and ruin my mood. I didn't want to play the way she did-very simple. I don't climb moutains or wrestle alligators either-too much effort.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... I am so like that; on both sides of the coin! I would never ignore my Dominant were he to make such a request…and I’ve told people I have absolutely no interest in wrestling submission from them. There is something civilized about control still being polite.

Yes, I’m beginning to think this whole thing is based first on “Polly or not”. Perhaps it is only those who believe it is possible to love more than one, who can understand a person can be submissive to one and Dominant to another.

Oddly, bisexuality seems in this same camp; it’s impossible to be in a monogamous relationship a bisexual person because the very nature of their being means they cannot BE with one person? Bah!!!

In the same vein, I believe a submissive can dominate another…..and a CEO makes a great submissive.

Just me,
B

I expect to be able to delegate. That means ,doormats who cannot deal with others in a superior role will not wash in a relationship with me. And do so in a constrained, and professional manner. I will simply not become involved with one I would ever have to worry about usurping my comfort zones with.

But that doesn't mean I need be so insecure as to have to be "on" 24/7-I'm too laid back to take myself that seriously-God is God-not me.

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 5/1/2007 12:59:23 PM

SireKane

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I recently released a slave who was in my charge for the past three years. She was a slave to me , but dominant to all others.

Kane

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RE: Calling all Male Dominants - 5/1/2007 1:09:37 PM

MstrssPassion

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quote:

ORIGINAL: proudlyspoiled

Ok just to clarify, I am definitely dominant with my professional life and for the most part, majority of the people I know say their first impression of me is dominant which is fine. I sub, I like to sub, and with the right person can stay in a sub position with them, but certain things may trigger that natural dominant position. And outside of that ONE person I would say I am more dominant.

I am not saying per say that I would be topping other people only that I have the two side of my personality

Well with this said what you need to come to better understanding of what dominance & submission is in the context of their role within their personal relationship... & not attempt to place every aspect of your life such as your career as defining your dominance & submission.

Because if we were to use our careers as a measure of where we stood in our role then that might rule a lot of people out of being either dom or sub.

There are so many submissives out there who are in very high ranking, authoritive roles within their working life & at the end of the day they surrender their entire person to the one they serve. On the flip side... their are dominants out there that bus tables.

Does that help you?

But as a side note... if this was a situation where you were interested in topping others or even maintaining a side relationship where you were the dominant in that dynamic there is nothing preventing you from maintaining the relationship with the dominant that you surrender to.

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