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mp072004 -> RE: domme vs. top (4/30/2007 5:31:16 PM)
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I use "dominant" to refer to a person who accepts and exercises authority, and who receives obedience and often service as well. Being dominant does not mean that one is a sadist, or enjoys binding people, or enjoys applying sensation--although, those aren't excluded. "Domme," I guess, would fit in here, although I don't like that word. (Why? For a number of reasons, but chiefly, for the same reason I don't like "lady doctor" or "authoress"--the word for a behavior or role doesn't need to be different just because a woman is doing it, even if the behavior or role is typically or traditionally enacted by men.)
I use "top" to refer to a person who gives sensation. No power/authority quality there, necessarily, although a giver of sensation can also be a receiver of obedience.
Think of power or authority (dominant, submissive) as a separate axis from sensation or pain (top, bottom, sadist, masochist). You can participate in both, one, the other, or neither. If you participate in both, you don't have to be a dominant top or a submissive bottom, although those are fairly common configurations. You can be a dominant bottom or a submissive top, if you like.
Monica
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