bad news in the journal (Full Version)

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Lordandmaster -> bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 6:41:37 PM)

Just wonderin' about something I see more and more...

Why do so many people use their journals and profiles to give play-by-play accounts of what went wrong in their last relationship?  There's nothing that says GET THE FUCK AWAY more clearly than that.  People, everybody has bad relationships.  Some people are just mature enough about it not to vent in a public journal.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 6:45:42 PM)

These are the same people that wonder why no one is contacting them. Go figure.[8|]



heydollface -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 6:46:19 PM)

I would think that a large part of writing in a journal, public or not, would be to vent or work through whatever feelings you might have that day. I know that I find writing about things, past or present, often helps me get a more accurate perspective on things. I don't see it as lack of maturity myself but that's from a general point of view and not from anything specific I've read.



Devilslilsister -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 6:46:50 PM)

dur dunno.  Long time no see! 

Maybe because journals are technically supposed to be like diaries and some people take them to the extreme?  Or they arent thinking?  Or they're just dumb?  Or they think that it makes them interesting?  Maybe some find it works for them?  Maybe they havent a better idea on what to put in a journal?  Prolly a myraid of reasons. 

Eh - but atleast it tells you with out even having to send an email that yer not interested.  ::smiles:: you should email them and thank them for showing their ass before you had to take the time to get to know them.



bandit25 -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 6:48:42 PM)

Yeah, where you been LaM?



Quivver -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 7:00:46 PM)

Nice to see ya LAM ... and a good question, even if it is somewhat obvious. 
Course now before you get your boxers in a wad I would like to add something that's
been on my mind reguarding exactly what you have asked... snicker

I agree that reading all the oh poor me crap is as a poor waste of bandwith.  Although...
Everyone has their ups and downs.  But all we want to read about is the ups. 
While it's also the downs that form us.  Many assist in their own healing through the written word,
and use a Journal to do that.  What I see most often when someone is complaining in their Journal
isnt so much the subject matter, it is just in how it was stated.   Granted not everyone here has
the same grasp of the launguage as the next person.  But if all we write is the good chit, isnt that too
a form of false advertising? 




Aileen68 -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 7:04:32 PM)

Damn...did I forget to delete my journal entries again?



MistressSassy66 -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 7:06:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Just wonderin' about something I see more and more...

Why do so many people use their journals and profiles to give play-by-play accounts of what went wrong in their last relationship?  There's nothing that says GET THE FUCK AWAY more clearly than that.  People, everybody has bad relationships.  Some people are just mature enough about it not to vent in a public journal.



I use My journal as a way to let people know whats going on without having to edit My profile.Like when I have to be away because of family.That way if I dont reply to a letter people know why.



Slavetrainer2007 -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 7:13:44 PM)

Alot of people use public journals to vent... not look for relationships. Most journal wise are more interested in getting their feelings out and sharing it with like minded people not putting their life on a table for potentional  partners to see. I know ive never went shopping for a sub at Live Journal[sm=tongue.gif]



junecleaver -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 8:42:54 PM)

Maybe they want to attract the crazies?



cloudboy -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 9:33:12 PM)


I hadn't notice that. Sometimes its good to purge the pain and injustice of a bad relationship, and journaling may serve that end. At some point, tho, a person has to let shit go.

On the other hand, as Elaine from Seinfeld said, "Spite never sleeps."



Lordandmaster -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 9:39:12 PM)

I agree with that, but that's also not the kind of journal entry I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the ones that list everything their dirty rotten lazy-ass former boyfriend did wrong.  Or the ones that recount every rude and stupid e-mailer who has ever contacted them.  Talking about how YOU overcame hard times is one thing; talking about all the bad things OTHER people have done to you gets old very fast.

Anyway, you're all basically right that some people are always going to do this and it's just as well; it tells you pretty clearly right up front that it's best to keep your distance.  It's like instant psycho alert.

Oh, and for the people who've asked where I've been--just very busy.  Nowhere special.  Not that you'd guess from anything I write on here, but I lead a crazy life, you know.  Someone needs to keep the bitches offa me!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I agree that reading all the oh poor me crap is as a poor waste of bandwith.  Although...
Everyone has their ups and downs.  But all we want to read about is the ups. 
While it's also the downs that form us.  Many assist in their own healing through the written word,
and use a Journal to do that.  What I see most often when someone is complaining in their Journal
isnt so much the subject matter, it is just in how it was stated.   Granted not everyone here has
the same grasp of the launguage as the next person.  But if all we write is the good chit, isnt that too
a form of false advertising? 



littlesarbonn -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 9:48:04 PM)

I think a lot of people have this belief that if they vent in a journal, someone will then see it and respond in the opposite way they are reporting in their journal. Take me for example. I was venting recently in my journal, but I wasn't really looking for anyone, just kind of frustated in general. But a number of people responded to me, indicating an interest. After observing that, I can easily see how someone might actually strategically think about venting in a journal in hopes of possibly hooking up with someone who "understands".



Satyr6406 -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 10:34:38 PM)

You know, I have always believed in trying to turn negatives into positives. Instead of writing about negative experiences in a public journal, I decided to write a book called: "How to Get Along With Everybody".
 
Now, I didn't write it, by myself because it was a first-time effort. I wrote it with this complete asshole that was so bossy that all I wanted to do was choke the living life out of him.
 
Anyway, on a serious note ...
 
I am well aware that writing things down can be extremely cathartic but, while I enjoy posting, here and in my journal and making a good portion of my feelings known, my deepest, darkest secrets are reserved for the few people that have the intestinal fortitude to brave the inner sanctum which is my mind.
 
To be fair; if we find someone that we are interested in, the subject of past relationships is bound to come up but, here is where my earlier joke does, kind of, come into play:
 
I try to find a positive or something I learned from even the worst of relationships and go with that. Any new partner doesn't need to hear all the ugliness, right off the bat (I'm sure some stories will get told, as we grow closer). Also, to be brutally honest, I have made some moves in the past of which I am NOT very proud. I think everyone has so, I reserve the right to bury the past (along with any possible casualties) and move forward.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael


Oooooops! I forgot to mention: If I read a lady's profile and she's busy slamming the life out of some ex, publicly, I am not exactly in a HUGE hurry to go ahead and involve myself in another person's virew of how I'm three differing kinds of animal turd.

It's just not "good business" to present an ugly face to the public. Plus, I was raised that "Family business STAYS family business" (Yes, I was raised in an Italian household [in Brooklyn])




Peace,




MPC



Casie -> RE: bad news in the journal (4/30/2007 10:37:56 PM)

I think people most genreally are not trying to "pick" someone up with their journal. I think people use them like a diary nothing more.



WhiplashSmile -> RE: bad news in the journal (5/1/2007 1:36:31 AM)

There have been times when I posted rants in a journal entry, only to remove it within 24 hours.   We are all human and have all these wonderful set of emotions, both good and bad. 



CuriousLord -> RE: bad news in the journal (5/1/2007 1:45:55 AM)

Meh, I don't know.  I'd write about my failing relationships, if I had them and they were important to me.  Seems kinda petty to me to only put your best foot forward.

CuriousLord's Journal:
"Yeah, another six slaves applied today.  I got back two 100's on exams, in ChemE and Physics, today.  My family's doing well, mom says she loves me.  Yet more people are sucking up to me to be in their groups.  I'm particularly handsome today as this shirt goes quite well with these pants, giving me that rugged, sophisticated look."
Could say that.  If you ask me, it'd be kinda silly to, since I'm not looking to attract shallow or vain people, plus it's kinda gay- particularly the part where I'm going on about my appearance.

Then, of course, I could go on..
"I'm so awesome.  God did himself a favor when he made me, so that he may gaze upon my greatness.  Opps, gotta run!  I zoned out so much thinking about my tenth, even cooler theory of unification that my massive cock nearly crushed Mnt. Everest again.  The damn local girls are going to be after me like I'm on an Axe comercial again."

But, meh.  As you said, everyone has relationship problems.  Personally, it's the people who don't let theirs out that give me the creeps.



wandersalone -> RE: bad news in the journal (5/1/2007 2:39:37 AM)

I do find it offputting to read overly negative journals and will not contact people who fill their journals about how awful others are and how unfair life is ...I don't want to find myself being part of their next chapter!



canupleaseme -> RE: bad news in the journal (5/1/2007 2:44:14 AM)

I have put in my journal before that I have been disapointed after several things I was persuing werent worth the time, but i havent been specific and ranted just commented.  This has caused conversations to strike up with people I hadnt spoken to on here before.  I have also started a conversation with someone who has mentioned something in their journal that I thought I could help with.  I think its a good way to get it out for some people, for others it could be a way of saying hey this is going on im my life so if your mailing me then realise that.
I am quite offput though myself by peoples journals that are filled with nothing but ranting and misery it makes me think well sort it out then !!!



julietsierra -> RE: bad news in the journal (5/1/2007 2:49:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

But, meh.  As you said, everyone has relationship problems.  Personally, it's the people who don't let theirs out that give me the creeps.


I can understand this. However, I'm with the original poster - and not cause I'm kissing up to him or anything like that. I don't have problems with people venting. Barnes and Noble sells a  real nicely bound journal just for that purpose. Write away, keep the words on the nightstand or on the desk and move on. What gives me the creeps is people who feel the need to not only vent about their personal problems but to publically trash someone along the way. To me, that speaks of serious boundary issues (the boundry between what should be private and what can be public, at the very least.)

So let's see, on a public forum, that'd mean there is ok venting: "Goddamn it! I sure as hell wish they'd stop all the damn road construction around here!!! It's taking an hour and a half to drive home from work when it used to take me 30 minutes - IN THE SNOW!!"

And then there's the not-ok venting: "My former Master is such a _________."

I believe it's important to know the difference.

Personally, when I see the not-ok venting, I don't sit there thinking "well, now, that's healthy. I'm glad they got THAT out of their system!" More often than not, it clues me into who not to get close to. If they trashed that person, the next one could be me.

juliet



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