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Suleiman -> RE: Need help with wording (5/1/2007 10:58:21 AM)
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First off, are you under some sort of speech restriction? I noticed that, at first, you used the standard third-person self reference that tends to be habitual for persons laboring under speech restrictions. If so, do you have opportunities to speak freely? Do you have something like a social safeword, to make it clear that you are not in-scene at the moment? Talking to your partner as one adult to another right now, setting aside your respective roles, might be called for, in order to impress on him how important this is to you.
Loyalty is admirable, but feeling that that loyalty is being taken for granted sucks. Believe me, I empathize with this situation. It can be very difficult to say what you are feeling without making it sound like an accusation or otherwise make the situation worse, but there comes a time when you have to saywhat you feel or else the whole relationship can come apart at the seams.
First off, avoid using "You" statements, like "You're ignoring me" or "You don't listen" (I'm not saying that you do, dear, just that, for the purposes of your question, this is the first step in the answer that I have). "Me" statements help a lot to diffuse potentially loaded statements - "I feel neglected" or "I'm not sure I've made myself understood" or "I feel like you haven't been listening to me" - try to make your point without making an attack.
Even if you are under speech restrictions, this might be the time to disobey. This is your wellbeing, and the lasting stability of the relationship, that are at risk, and it may be worth getting rebuked in order to make it clear how important this is to you.
Unfortunately, this is all admittedly generic advice, and most likely to have been repeated ad infinatum by other respondants, but without knowing you and your master, it is the best that I can offer. I hope that it helps, and I hope you manage to work everything out.
Good luck.
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