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punishment question - 5/1/2007 3:06:44 PM   
ladyredass


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This one has a question   to all the Masters and Mistresses   this one wants to know if it is a normal thing for a Dom to have his sub ask for punishment.  or should this ones Master just know when to punish. 
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RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 3:11:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyredass
This one has a question   to all the Masters and Mistresses   this one wants to know if it is a normal thing for a Dom to have his sub ask for punishment.  or should this ones Master just know when to punish. 

Both are fairly common.  Both have their merits and downsides.

Punishment isn't like knowing when to plant crops, we aren't mind readers.

Unless you're using "punish" to mean "do kinky stuff to me" and not in the "something which will discourage future recurrences of a specific behavior" sense.  Those are two completely different things.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ladyredass)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 3:15:06 PM   
ladyredass


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		thank you it would be to redrect  or fix bad behaver sorry for the bad spelling

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 3:18:15 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Unless you did something that he does not know about, then you should tell him and await your punishment. Otherwise he knows when you need it and it is his choice to punish or not.

Mike


(in reply to ladyredass)
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RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 3:29:16 PM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		I would hope that he would know when you're in-need of punishment, but just incase he doesn't know, I'd manipulate him into a scheduled regimen of interactions that fits the scenarios that you've read about.
Of course he should know and he should also know when to flog your amply cute posterior after a gloved spanking.
  Having to ask that question must have been embarressing for you, and your referring to him as "master" is a tad redundant since he may have not yet deserve that oft misused honorfic and your question highlights that.
  There are many ways of "schoolin'" a new dominant just as there are ways of teaching a submissive persona. I have some longterm friends that live in Michigan and they have a play party most everyweekend at their home.
  They probably play more severe than you're caring to experience, but they have the ability to curb their "Unnatural" inclinations for someone with less experience.
  EDUCATION and CONVERSATION go hand in hand, there are dangers in the success rates listed under the "Taught my own self" category. It's not an impossibility, but, I highly recommend attending munches, reading and gleaning what you can from the written words on-line and between pages.
  If he's unwilling to learn, I'd recommend that you gather some clickie-dealies together to show him the joys of cuckolding because, I seriously doubt that your joyful union will remain so once the frustration reaches the "I gotta be spanked, rump-humped, between the changing of floggers and,,,, heheheeeee
  I could have taken another tack and been more kind, but there are those times that the bare-eye of reality must have its realizations acknowledged.
Gentry
Pope of Perverse Practices
Doctor of Delicious Deviance
Archbishop of Santorum Production
Cardinal of Rump-Humpers local #13
quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyredass

This one has a question   to all the Masters and Mistresses   this one wants to know if it is a normal thing for a Dom to have his sub ask for punishment.  or should this ones Master just know when to punish. 

(in reply to ladyredass)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 3:47:58 PM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		  Being aware that a submissive has committed a "no-no" and not admitted it yet is cause for Me to contemplate using some informative and slightly drastic (severe) punishments on their bod's. A purposeful omission is the same as a lie to Me and I detest liars.
  Unless, I'm in a deep stupor from some drug ingestion that, I don't remember, I'd say that you're a fiend, ahhh, friend that was inhabitating the Scooter haunts of Daytona.
Gentry
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD

Unless you did something that he does not know about, then you should tell him and await your punishment. Otherwise he knows when you need it and it is his choice to punish or not.

Mike



(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
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RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 5:12:02 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		On some occasions. The requirement for asking for punnishment can be more tramatic then the actual punnishment

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to ladyredass)
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RE: punishment question - 5/1/2007 8:18:46 PM   
Rafters


Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline 		It depends on the sub

Some subbies like to be good all the time, some subbies get their kicks from being a bad girl.

So depending on the relationship you may find education is better than punishment, alternatively it may be no substitute to scratching an itchy kink that good girls don't have.

Plus delayed punishment, is an ideal feeding ground for suspense and a mindfuck in itself.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 1:52:59 AM   
gloriousangel


Posts: 361
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: West Midlands
Status: offline 		Hi there I am a sub and I did something wrong with out my master knowing and I asked him to punish me for my error.  I did not know what instrument he would use.  He knows very well that i do not like the cane. 

The best thing you can do is to tell him what you have done and await your punishment.  Or get into the punishment position.

_____________________________

I am now owned and collared and leashed.



(in reply to Rafters)
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RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 2:28:27 AM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline
Absolutely.

Correction isn't magically achieved with a whipping. It requires active repentence on your part as well. Realising that you have done wrong, feeling guilt from that realisation, confessing your trespass and begging for your punishment demonstrates that repentence.

(in reply to ladyredass)
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RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 3:24:20 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Both.

He's not a mind reader. He also may feel that you forgot a rule due to being overstressed and decided that you needed a break. Talk to him about how you feel, how he decides on punishment etc. And if your desire for punishment comes from feeling guilty, he won't know how badly you feel unless you tell him.

Like any other relationship, communication is required.

(in reply to Raphael)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 3:38:45 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyredass

This one has a question   to all the Masters and Mistresses   this one wants to know if it is a normal thing for a Dom to have his sub ask for punishment.  or should this ones Master just know when to punish. 

Depends how you define "punishment".
 
If you mean you've broken house rules; defied Master etc, then "NO", it's not the slave's place to decide how such misdemeanours are to be remedied....
 
However, many lifestylers rather confusingly describe acts of physical domination such as bondage and floggings etc as being "punishment", too.  If the girl wants a spanking or spend an hour or three trussed up etc, she can ask anytime - that's perfectly fine with me (to ask) and all I hafta decide is if it's convenient for me.
 
Focus.

(in reply to ladyredass)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 9:40:21 AM   
Arastella


Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		Really depends on the type of relationship you two have and what he prefers as well as how comfortable you are asking for punishment.

(in reply to ladyredass)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 12:34:18 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		When I have done something for which punishment is necessary, it is not uknown for Master to order me to ask for punishment and to thank me when he's finished.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Arastella)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 1:03:02 PM   
Nogimmicks


Posts: 38
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		Clarification requested here: Is he requiring you to ask for a punishment that he has already deemed you will receive? In other words, simply requiring that you actually ask for the punishment as a means of reinforcing the fact that you recognize both his authority and the rightness of that authority.

OR

Is he asking you to establish whether or not you should receive a punishment?

The former is a wonderful technique for reinforcing position in the relationship. The latter is, in my opinion, a distinct no-no.

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 3:11:06 PM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		I myself have just recently asked to be punished for a major infraction. Sir knows what I did and was holding off on the punishment because I have been very much under the weather both physically and mentally the last few days. But last night I asked if he would please give me my punishment when he returns from a business trip. The guilt of what I did is eating at me and I really need to recieve my punishment what ever it may be so I can move on past it and start to work to make sure I don't repeat it.

aurora

(in reply to Nogimmicks)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 3:53:11 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nogimmicks

Clarification requested here: Is he requiring you to ask for a punishment that he has already deemed you will receive? In other words, simply requiring that you actually ask for the punishment as a means of reinforcing the fact that you recognize both his authority and the rightness of that authority.

OR

Is he asking you to establish whether or not you should receive a punishment?

The former is a wonderful technique for reinforcing position in the relationship. The latter is, in my opinion, a distinct no-no.


I'm assuming you were asking me this question. Please pardon me if I am answering a question intended for something else.

When Master orders me to request said punishment, it is punishment he already knows he is going to give me. Usually he tells me to name it when I ask "Please, Master, give me ten lashes with the strap" (or whatever the punishment is). When he is finished administering the punishment, I am again to name the punishment and to thank him for caring enough to correct my behavior.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Nogimmicks)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 5:23:57 PM   
jaunty1


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyredass

This one has a question   to all the Masters and Mistresses   this one wants to know if it is a normal thing for a Dom to have his sub ask for punishment.  or should this ones Master just know when to punish. 

Hello
 
melissa will be the first to tell you that punishment in our house HURTS; there is nothing fun about it at all. With that in mind, she would never willingly seek out a punishment;  Nor, would I go looking for things to punish her for. My goal is not to see her fail; but to see her excel in all that she could possibly be.
 
Live well
 
Alex

_____________________________




(in reply to ladyredass)
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RE: punishment question - 5/2/2007 6:41:34 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyredass

This one has a question   to all the Masters and Mistresses   this one wants to know if it is a normal thing for a Dom to have his sub ask for punishment.  or should this ones Master just know when to punish. 
Normal?....well if he is your Master and you have given him your trust, then I simply say,it is up to him...right?..If you ever find the definition of"normal" however in WIITWD..please let me know ~wink~..Tempting

(in reply to ladyredass)
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RE: punishment question - 5/3/2007 9:24:33 PM   
Shanghaid


Posts: 76
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		I think people are reading too much into this.

The slave did some wrong and wonders if she could ask her master for correction.

I don't know of ANY master that would have issue with this.

POSSIBLY, if he were an insane total-control junkie that desired to decide (setting himself up for failure) every single aspect of your life outside of perhaps telling you when to breathe in & out, THEN he may have an issue with it.

If he had an issue with that, then he'd also probably have an issue with your posting this question for us to respond to.

I'm fairly confident this isn't the case and you're perfectly fine to ask for correction. You Dom will determine whether to apply it, when and how.

Try as we might, Doms are all-knowing. If you ate one green M&M out of the jar - even though we specifically told you to never do that!!! - chances are, we probably won't notice. Then, your desire for us to correct this infraction would be heartily welcomed, not discouraged.

Now, doing this all the damn time might become tedious... Moderation in all things.

Cheers,

SH'd

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 20
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