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Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 3:35:42 PM   
Halley


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		I have a question to you who have been around longer than I. Many profiles here say no children, animals or scat.
My question is, do they mean no children in the home or no children involved in life style activities.
I have a child at home, but in no way does she even see any thing inappropriate for any child.
The reason I am so confused is the way they list these things together.
I guess it shocks me that anyone would even think of children being involved in BDSM.
Clarification is needed here. Thank you in advance. And while I'm posting I would also like to better understand the term male lesbian.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 3:42:00 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		You'd be amazed what kind of pervs are out there.  That's why people specify "no unmentionables". (We're not supposed to use the C-word.)

Now for MY personal profile "no ums" means just that. Don't contact me if you have Ums.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 3:49:11 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		What they are referring to is that there is no interest in 'relations' with people who are not of the age of consent.

Maybe that helps.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 4:01:04 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		I believe it generally means NO illegal activity involving children and animals. This is almost a standard hard limit across the board. Illegal activity is not what most people consider BDSM anyway.

I think it's assumed that one will not be contacted by a minor on an adult site. I also think if someone does not wish to be involved with a partner who has children, then they should make sure they specify that.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 4:05:01 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

I believe it generally means NO illegal activity involving children and animals. This is almost a standard hard limit across the board. Illegal activity is not what most people consider BDSM anyway.

I think it's assumed that one will not be contacted by a minor on an adult site. I also think if someone does not wish to be involved with a partner who has children, then they should make sure they specify that.


I'm not sure if we're allowed to mention this but "activity involving animals" is NOT illegal in all states. It is not illegal in Tx unless the animal is physically injured, in which case it falls under 'animal cruelty'.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 4:18:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The "standard trifecta of limits" generally means they don't want to do any kinky stuff involving those three elements.

If a person specifically doesn't want younglings or to be involved with someone who has younglings, they will usually list that separately. 

But, never know unless you ask that person specifically.

I'm surprise you're surprised :) 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 4:29:45 PM   
justinasamerk


Posts: 153
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline 		greetings,
i have always wondered why on earth would any body put in the obvious in there profile. Well maybe there are sickos out there who love to tread on the dangerous path of illegal activities, but in all my travels i have never met a dominant who would say...
Slave I want you to suck on this horse, in front of your 3 year old daughter, as i shit in your face, taking a knife plunging it into your flesh creating a pool of blood all over the nice white rug, and to top it all off, we'll rush you to the hospital where i break each and every one of your fingers on the way, and we can play on the edge before i kill you....Thats sounds great RIGHT????? yippie :)

This is just a girls opinion, but she believes people who put No Kids, No Animals, No Scat, really don't know what they enjoy or want, so by putting such a rediculous generality, at least they are putting something on there profile so they can say..OOO thats a no no...see i got no nos too...

Sorry if she offended anyone, but it does become tiring if when meeting someone that is the first thing out of there mouth is I don't do Children, Animals and Scat.

Wishes you well,
justina, the sometimes cranky little sweet potato

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 5:00:07 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

i have always wondered why on earth would any body put in the obvious in there profile.


You'd be surprised how many ARE interested in those 3 activities, but the first two aren't supposed to be discussed here.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to justinasamerk)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 5:04:48 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Halley
And while I'm posting I would also like to better understand the term male lesbian.


Halley, some "male lesbian" links for you
http://www.love-shy.com/Gilmartin/Chapter05/Malelesbian.html
http://www.helium.com/tm/231463/exploring-meaning-lesbian
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=male+lesbian

(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 5:10:51 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Halley

I have a question to you who have been around longer than I. Many profiles here say no children, animals or scat.
My question is, do they mean no children in the home or no children involved in life style activities.
I have a child at home, but in no way does she even see any thing inappropriate for any child.
The reason I am so confused is the way they list these things together.
I guess it shocks me that anyone would even think of children being involved in BDSM.
Clarification is needed here. Thank you in advance. And while I'm posting I would also like to better understand the term male lesbian.

It could be meant in different ways for dfferent people. Your best bet if you are confused is to email the actual person and ask them for clarfication as to what they mean.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 5:12:52 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		I believe this best explains it...

A male lesbian is a fully heterosexual man who often wishes that he had been born a female. And yet if he had been born female he would still have felt strongly attracted to women (and not to men) romantically, esthetically, sexually, and socially. A male lesbian is a person who from his earliest years onward had never felt any attraction towards members of his own sex--not even for purposes of recreational play. He is a person who had always felt rather strange, detached, and disinterested around age-mates of his own gender, and who had always entertained the fantasy that if he could only win acceptance from an all-girl peer group he could feel "at home" there.

The "male lesbian" state of consciousness may be related to inborn temperament, and may at least partly explain why they tend to become very romantically attracted to girls from an early point in life.

(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 5:32:16 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

i have always wondered why on earth would any body put in the obvious in there profile.


You'd be surprised how many ARE interested in those 3 activities, but the first two aren't supposed to be discussed here.


Ditto. Especially activity #2. There are actually a HUGE number of lifestylers into that.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 5:39:17 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Male lesbians are generally men who enjoy taking on a female role (this is called genderplay) and when in that role, enjoy playing with women.

Yes, "no children, animals, or scat" probably refers to a ban on playing with minors. Childfree people (people who don't want to raise children within their households) generally spell it out more clearly, or use the word "childfree".

(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 6:09:11 PM   
Halley


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		This is exactly what I thought, but after seeing it over and over I started doubting my common sense.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 6:10:28 PM   
N4SDChastity


Posts: 327
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		In my profil it's a little more specifically spelled out.  Children will not be involved in *our* activities.  Not as participants, not as spectators, no participation (I'm paraphrasing myself, of course).  The scat & blood stff are pretty selfexplainatory, I believe.

(in reply to PairOfDimes)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 6:15:01 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes
Male lesbians are generally men who enjoy taking on a female role (this is called genderplay) and when in that role, enjoy playing with women.

What you are describing is a transexual or cross dresser instead of a "male lesbian" 

(in reply to PairOfDimes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 6:17:15 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

Male lesbians are generally men who enjoy taking on a female role (this is called genderplay) and when in that role, enjoy playing with women.

Yes, "no children, animals, or scat" probably refers to a ban on playing with minors. Childfree people (people who don't want to raise children within their households) generally spell it out more clearly, or use the word "childfree".


I use the term "childfree" but even with that, you have to be really clear. I had one person become very upset because he thought "childfree" meant I just didn't have children now (not that I NEVER wanted them.) This is why you really have to be clear when you talk to people because not everyone uses the same word for the same thing.

I was under the impression that "childfree" universally meant "I don't ever want to have kids" but there were still people who didn't know that.


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to PairOfDimes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 6:17:52 PM   
chicagochick


Posts: 27
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline 		I wonder if anyone is actually dense enough to publicize on a (basically) public forum that they are interested in UMs (thats a funny euphemism by the way that I hadn't heard before finding this site). I mean seriously, do you want to draw that kind of attention to yourself? Personally I wish they would announce it so they would be easy to spot, but I doubt the rest of us are that lucky.

(in reply to N4SDChastity)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 7:22:38 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I always liken those advertised hard limits as the same kind of logic used to protest gay marriage. After some diatribe about how gay marriages are unhealthy...the next question is, 'What next, will we allow people to marry animals?" (I realize that I strayed off topic there, but to me it's the same logic.)
 
People's logic or lack there of never ceases to amaze me. Really. Those advertisements of hard limit's including sexual activity with UM's just shoots the entire lifestyle in the foot. If we have to tell those who "understand" the lifestyle that we're not trying to molest society, why should anyone outside of the lifestyle understand?

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Halley)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Clarification of terms - 5/1/2007 7:57:41 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		My refusal to include UM's means that although I have my own, and don't mind others having their own family units, I will not include them in adult activities.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 20
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