how do you know?

how do you know? (Full Version)

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chisubintraining -> how do you know? (5/2/2007 12:30:49 AM)
How do you know if someone is a Dom? where i live there is someone that when i got on the elevator he saw my necklace with the BDSM symbol on it and the sub but said nothing. but his attitude towards me cchanged. not in a bad way tho. i know i can't go out and ask hey are you a Dom that would be rude and could change the way he is all total. so agian i aska how do you know who is a Dom?

hisannabelle -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 12:37:26 AM)
greetings, you don't unless you ask or they tell you, really. annabelle.

chellekitty -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 1:28:24 AM)
you have to find yourself a Dom-detector...its a special ring that glows when a Dom is near...could be trouble if you get in an elevator at a convention tho........

Focus50 -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 2:28:01 AM)
I think most animals recognise their own kind, even if they don't always know what it is they're finding affinity with. That said, the thing I look for r/l is some primal "recognition" in the eyes. I also don't know what it is beyond being fascinated by fem/sub eyes; just as every sub I've met has been drawn to mine. Dom/mes are generally looked on as the ones to take initiatives etc. If I saw your BDSM necklace, I'd also see the perfect opportunity to ask about it, though probably in a subtle way.... And I'd do it with my eyes burning right into yours - just to see if you try to look anywhere except back at mine! lol You say his attitude changed in a good way. That could easily be a primal response to something he recognises in you. And what about you? Since none of us come with Dom/me or sub emblazened across our foreheads, is there anything new or otherwise you recognise in his eyes or manner etc, esp in your presence? Wishful thinking doesn't count.... lol Seems you see each other fairly regularly.... If he is the Dom you think, I don't see why nature wouldn't take its naural course at least as far as striking up a conversation or two - even if he's married (gasp.... and lol). I wouldn't let you get away without at least one decent chat.... *And welcome to the Forums.... [:)]* *Focus.*

MsCara -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 2:55:54 AM)
If you don't already .. call him Sir and watch .. <grins>. I had someone do something similar once and I finally said, "do you know what my symbol is?" I wear mine all of the time as well .. it is amazing how many "thumbs up" I have gotten from total strangers.

MsCara -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 2:57:01 AM)
since when does wishful thinking not count? ::blink

Focus50 -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 3:25:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsCara since when does wishful thinking not count? ::blink *It gets you into trouble if you're only seeing what you wanna see rather than what is really there to see.... Or you knew that - "::blink" = blinkered? lol* *Focus.*

MsCara -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 3:45:30 AM)
oh crap .. okay. <grins>

MstrssPassion -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 4:11:15 AM)
you might want to read up on something triskele this symbol is not unique to bdsm practitioners & the basic shape has many translations within many clutures that go back many centuries It is written that in 1994 within AOL chats, Quagmyre, with the help of others, created an variation of this ancient symbol as a way for others to pick each other out in a crowd. Well since this symbol has much deeper roots in history many people may view it & refer its shape back to ancient Celtic Paganism. So with that said... don't be so sure that all these thumbs up mean that you are all on the same page with what this means.

MstrssPassion -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 4:18:08 AM)
how do we know? we don't unless we ask or the person reveals it to us but after years of being in this & meeting thousands of others who are as well... I've been pretty point on about picking out people in "vanilla" areas of life as well. I've walked right up to people in places in the grocery store & asked questions like, haven't I seen you at the munch or were you at "such-n-suchs" play party last month? If they were to look at me all weird then I would have just said, oh sorry... thought you looked familiar. I've done this several times & not once did I have to worry about a cover story. I guess it's one of those cases where it takes one to know one

aldompdx -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 4:42:19 AM)
Pheromones... (LOL) This is similar to the objective/subjective question recently asked. Rather than exercising dominance by interrogating another, demonstrate submission by asking permission to share something about yourself. Then the conversation can naturally develop to the extent of his experience. For example, share when and how you got your necklace. Express your curiosity in knowing whether he has seen the symbol before. Share your interest in hearing him express his "infinite wisdom" about the symbol. (I.e., masturbate the ego of a dominant).

marylynn -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 4:49:52 AM)
I think dominant men are sexy as hell - and the ones I have met -know- what/who you are by first glance. But maybe I'm spoiled that way, though, because I'm very submissive. everyone I meet (for first time) knows I would bend over backwards to please them. but you won't know unless you ask :) good luck

hammernhoney -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 4:50:46 AM)
Thats the problem you can't really tell, from the most mild manner every day Joe to the postman...YOU can't tell by appearance or actions...ITS all in the attitude..You find so many long wind know it alls that are preaching the "true? way in theses forums and in RL theses are the ones to avoid..as always just the views of this ol' master....bounty

MadameButterfly -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 6:09:42 AM)
If it were me... I would strike up a conversation and move it towards the topic of your pendant. Take a leap you never know what can happen Madame Butterfly

CypherEnigma -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 6:16:17 AM)
I use Sir and see how they react. If they are Dom you usually get a smile.

MadameButterfly -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 6:52:45 AM)
CypherEnigma That is a great idea! Basic lifestyle protocols do translate in the "Vanilla" world. I agree try that see what happens... and I am dying to know what happens Madame Butterfly

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 7:24:23 AM)
There's also the often forgotten practice of flagging.

CreativeDominant -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 7:29:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross There's also the often forgotten practice of flagging. Flagging? Midwestern, innocent and angelic dominant male here...[8\|]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 7:44:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant Flagging? Midwestern, innocent and angelic dominant male here... Sigh, not your fault, but a million homosexual kinky people just smacked their foreheads. Also known as the "hanky code," a system of wearing different colored hankies in your back pockets to "flag" what you were into or interested in doing that night. Left side = top/giver, right side = bottom/receiver There's lots of sites out there which give lists of colors and codes, you can also use pieces of rope or handcuffs or some other physical object to more directly denote what you're into. Since most heterosexuals don't enjoy cruising and prefer the more traditional vanilla courtship rituals, the hanky code doesn't have as much prevalence or practicality- but chances are you can see at least a few "flagging" at big events.

CreativeDominant -> RE: how do you know? (5/2/2007 7:54:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant Flagging? Midwestern, innocent and angelic dominant male here... Sigh, not your fault, but a million homosexual kinky people just smacked their foreheads. Sorry to have caused you all such pain....[:)] Also known as the "hanky code," a system of wearing different colored hankies in your back pockets to "flag" what you were into or interested in doing that night. Left side = top/giver, right side = bottom/receiver There's lots of sites out there which give lists of colors and codes, you can also use pieces of rope or handcuffs or some other physical object to more directly denote what you're into. Since most heterosexuals don't enjoy cruising and prefer the more traditional vanilla courtship rituals, the hanky code doesn't have as much prevalence or practicality- but chances are you can see at least a few "flagging" at big events. Thank you very much for the answer to this midwestern, angelic, dominant sort...[;)]

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