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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Should I ask or not? (5/2/2007 10:03:44 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Arastella
In your opinion, is it okay to ask your Mistress or Master for punishment?
Depends on the relationship. For me, it's ok for them to ask, but they need to be able to explain the reasoning and feelings behind it for me to even consider it.
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Or does it make it seem like you enjoy the punishment?
No, I know too many martyr slaves or slaves who punish themselves too much to think that's what it always it.
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I have been misbehaving recently, being defiant without really thinking about it and I know I deserve to be punished for it but Mistress has yet to really notice. Should I ask for it?
In THIS case, you shouldn't ask to be punished, you should ask "What's going wrong here with us? I feel disconnected and unmotivated and am not sure how to regain security and commitment. Can you help?"
Punishment in this case won't really solve anything, certainly not the underlying issue.
If I had told my partner to make the bed, and he got distracted by stuff and didn't make it, and later that night specifically came to me and said "I feel bad about not remembering to make the bed, would you please punish me as a way to help me move beyond this guilt and shame I feel and look more positively to the future" then I'd very likely consider it. The main problem I tend to find in asking for punishment is that it means the slave is stuck in their own issues in the moment, rather than looking to the overall goal and who they are serving.
In most cases however, disobeying and misbehaving is a sign of a deeper issue in the relationshp itself- and just punishing the behavior won't get to that deeper issue.
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