RE: D/S without the "Scening"

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/3/2007 8:23:22 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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not a Master, but i am a slave in a D/s (M/s) union, and my Master is not a Top, and we have never engaged in scening. He doesn't own a "toy" bag. we don't believe in or practice the bdsm mantra, "SSC." it's just not his thing, which is lucky for me because it's REALLY not my thing. we are always careful to say that we do not live a "bdsm lifestyle." our lifestyle is D/s. yes i am punished, sometimes physically. sometimes i serve as his punching bag, when he needs the tension release. but these things are entirely outside of a bdsm context, if that makes sense. we consider our way of life to be in line with the natural order of things, an ancient Male-female dynamic, and D/s simply adequately describes something that has always been and always will be.

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/3/2007 9:57:00 AM

Elegant

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Joined: 3/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

There are hidden lessons in SM play, reasons to do it outside the fun Sadistic pleasures and the subspace pleasures of a Masochist.

And what was the lesson behind the suspended floating table, needles, twine, singletail and punching scene you did???????? Ouch.

grinning

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~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/3/2007 10:07:44 AM

Archer

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LOL I never said I didn't find personal fun in Sadistic play, LOL.

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/3/2007 7:51:45 PM

Ericus1

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Joined: 1/13/2007
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one of the things i find rarely discussed is the difference between being a top and a dom. most people just assume they are the same thing. and while for many they do overlap, they are not the same thing.

discuss the subject with your sub. subs do things they don't like all for them doms/mes. doms/mes do things they don't always like for their subs. usually, because they love and/or care for one another. but from your question, i would think it is becoming an issue to you. best thing i can say is to deal with it directly and quickly. don't let get any worse than what it already is.

ericus

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/4/2007 3:26:26 PM

MadRabbit

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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Thanks to everyone who posted to my thread and I certainly mean everyone. Everything written here was profound in its own way and has helped me think of things in new ways.

Basically, it comes down to I have yet to find any fulfillment and enjoyment in standing over someone with a flogger or tieing someone up. Not that I regret doing any of those things, its just part of self exploration.

Like many people here, its the mental exchange itself of D/S that has always been my interest. The bond is what I find thrilling, arousing, and inspiring for many reasons. After some thought, the kinks I do really find thrilling are somehow linked to that aspect.

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/4/2007 8:37:46 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear MadRabbit, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my personal experiences and it goes back to the Old Leather philosophy that the three major tools a Master has, is their mind, their voice and their touch.

Another philosophy premise was that anytime the Master and slave were within eye contact, hearing range and or in physical reach--the Master/slave was interactive, even when at rest.

In my mind's eyes I see, props have taken place of the three basic powers a Master has to compensate for the lack of 'art' and or 'mastery' of those three skills. With my hands and mind, I can create pleasure and or great pain and everything in between.

Perhaps what has been forgotten that if one person is not having fun, something isn't right/correct. This often is a focus on the slave but, not on the Dominant side which, in my mind's eyes is a flawed thought. Both are to enjoy the pursuit of the moment's happiness.

Some of the most intense scenes have been the quiet ones. From a slave's presentation, service to me and their affection nuzzling my hand or wrapping arms around my legs, resting their cheek on my lap have given both of us a state of peace, pleasure and sensual connection.

The art of mentally, emotionally and spiritual shifts made by a Master of a slave, the drawing energy and redeposit of energy in another place is often overshadowed by the 'glitz' and fancy whip work. The senses are what Masters can play with and its not needed to invest in all the sensation toys in the world.

Finding your own gut of what mastery is for you is the key. Being who and what you are, even non sadist is at times more artful then beating a person to a pulp. Making it look simple is mastery and artful. It comes by being confident and comfortable in the area of your focus and craftsmanship.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/4/2007 8:56:37 PM

CuriousLord

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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Entirely.
I'm not much of a sadist. Not at all a masochist.
It can be fun to duct tape a slave to a wall for a while, but I don't have time to bind them down every time. Not that I really feel the need to.

I own them.. they're my property. For me, this is all about dominance. I'm assured enough in my dominance, too, to not need visual crutches such as bondage. It can be fun, but it's hardly key to anything. For me, anyhow.

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/4/2007 11:35:54 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
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~using fast reply~
I like control and power exchange is my primary interest, but I am a sadist as well.
I enjoy topping because I get to control the situation. That means I get to decide what comes next, and I get to decide if I'm going to use only toys that the sub wants or any toys of my own.

I specifically get the consent of my play partners to do things that they do NOT like but that aren't limits for that very reason. Sometimes it is enough to do silly things. Sometimes it is more intense things. But I am in control and I make decisions. As a top I thrive on inciting response from a submissive when I want it. Whether I'm inciting erotic response, pain response, or something else it is this awesome sense of power to be able to do action A and get desired response B.

I have ONE play partner with whom I do almost exactly what she wants and little else. She is my best friend and my bottom, and she can handle enough pain that I can take the edge off of sadistic desires by playing with her. It brings me pleasure to bring her release, and I enjoy helping her get a chance to bottom. Bringing a friend to pain and through it to tears and cathartic release and holding her while she cries afterwards, soothing and giving aftercare, talking about marks and getting hugs is an affirming and positive experience for me. But even with her I take my own licks. She really likes canes, and at least once in each scene, most of the time more often, I take a really wicked stroke to elicit a "FUCK" and flinch. Because I'm a sadist.

When I play with masochists, I play to be able to satisfy the deep down urge to cause damage. I play with pain sluts so that I can see red welting blooming on the skin, break the skin in areas, cause deep and dark bruising. It is something I crave so I play to satisfy that urge.

But having said ALL of that, very little of this satisfies my desire for power exchange. That is satisfied through service, teaching, control in daily life, assignments completed for me, and the things that I like in a power exchange.

I top because it satisfies parts of me. I control because it satisfies other parts of me. I would love to have both in one relationship, but as for now, I get those needs met separately.

~Elorin

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/5/2007 8:29:12 AM

SimplyMichael

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CuriousLord,

Actually duct tape is the tool of the insecure, rope bondage is for those with patience, huge cocks, and shiny badges. Doesn't sound so nice that way, does it? Refering to other's kinks as "crutches" is tacky.

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/5/2007 10:31:19 AM

LeatherBentOne

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If the person is submissive to me, my feeling is Im doing what I do in return for what she does. If she's not submissive, then I cannot compromise myself to scene with her. Also, I get no pleasure from topping anyone who isnt submissive to me. So I quess, I have some of those feelings but only when the other person does satisfy my need to Dominate. For me, that where the desire for my Sadism is born.

LBO

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/5/2007 11:46:12 AM

Vendaval

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Hi Mad Rabbit,

It seems you are feeling introspective lately, no?

I recommend keeping a journal of your thoughts and
emotional reactions to different situations and stimuli to better
understand your likes and dislikes. And keep exploring and
questioning and searching in your personal growth.

Be well,

Vendaval

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/11/2007 8:36:35 PM

BearsBreech

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Joined: 4/7/2007
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Dear Mr. Rabbit:

Its only by coincidence that D/s has anything at all to do with BDSM! The two can and often do exist independent of one another. I think that for many, "Dominant" and "submissive" really describe "Top" and "bottom;" And the term "bedroom submissive?"

Bear

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/12/2007 6:09:19 AM

agirl

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I've never been *into* bdsm, but I find it interesting. I'd fast lose interest in bdsm activities if M and our D/s weren't attached to it because THAT is what makes it a heady and exciting place to be. Making lunch, listening to music, caging me, suspending me, hitting me, sitting in a car next to him... all have the same exciting thing in them........him and D/s.

agirl

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RE: D/S without the "Scening" - 5/12/2007 7:54:14 AM

MrDiscipline44

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I, for one, rarely do a "scene" and when I do, it's either for my pleasure or because I'm feeling particularly gracious. To me, M/s and D/s are totally seperate from S&M.

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