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RE: TOUCHING - 5/3/2007 3:45:59 PM

SUNSHINE48036

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/13/2007
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Thank Y/you all for responding to my question...and i agree with pretty much all of it...i am a VERY affectionate person by nature..and i think that i will not be able to tolerate this kind of situation again..
again..thanks to A/all

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/3/2007 5:00:34 PM

andreaC

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
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I usually can touch Master, but when it comes to his private part........i need his permission and if he was to deny me, it would be a big punishment since i adore touching all of him.

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andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
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Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to SUNSHINE48036)

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Post #: 22

RE: TOUCHING - 5/4/2007 12:38:11 AM

MissOchistic

Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
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Well, you're Dom might have his own reasons, but in my book, it is a priviledge and an honor to touch Him how I want. When i get the chance, i will restrain myself until He allows me or touches first...after all, the only reason for my touching Him is for my own pleasure. His preference is much more important.

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/4/2007 7:50:03 AM

daddysliloneds

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you know, so many people buy into the 'it's a control thing', but not me, not from my past experience; i find that celeste hit the nail on the head in her statement below:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

It's a way of preventing emotional intimacy. If he keeps you at arms length then you aren't emotionally important to him, so if you leave it won't hurt him. Now if you want a D/s relationship that is devoid of deeper emotions go for it, otherwise I'd think long and hard.

(in reply to Celeste43)

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/4/2007 9:01:43 AM

tricia

Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

It's a way of preventing emotional intimacy. If he keeps you at arms length then you aren't emotionally important to him, so if you leave it won't hurt him. Now if you want a D/s relationship that is devoid of deeper emotions go for it, otherwise I'd think long and hard.

In this theory you would have to assume that because you don't touch your partner on whim - there is no touching. I'm not comfortable in assuming that.

While i may not kiss, hug or caress my partner everytime i'm inclined to do so - it doesn't necessarily mean there is no kissing, hugging or caressing.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

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Post #: 25

RE: TOUCHING - 5/4/2007 12:36:52 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
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I'm a very tactile person, and I like to touch my Master- it is my way of showing how much I cherish him, and how much I want to be near him. I am fortunate that there are no rules restricting touch in our relationship...I don't think I could handle that very well. He has rights to touch me any time and any place he sees fit- and he encourages the same from me, mostly because I think he enjoys it as much as I do.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/4/2007 7:10:37 PM

sintralgasub

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/24/2006
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He and I are both very affectionate and loved to touch and be touched. Sometimes in a scene, I will have to ask permission to touch Him.

sgs

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/5/2007 11:50:57 AM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
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Um, depends, i'm a submissive who requires my domme to avoid touching me at all possible, because that is uncomfortable to me and it's for her own safety she doesn't take me by surprise that way, because my only desire would be to tear into her throat and rip it out with my fingernails. i need a "mental prep" before i let anyone touch me (usually just desensitizing the entire body, takes a few seconds).

I sympathize with people who do that out of a need because touch harms them.

just one new perspective to add to the conversation, i guess. i think the "form of control" thing is well covered by everyone else ^_^

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/5/2007 8:04:58 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

you know, so many people buy into the 'it's a control thing', but not me, not from my past experience; i find that celeste hit the nail on the head in her statement below:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

It's a way of preventing emotional intimacy. If he keeps you at arms length then you aren't emotionally important to him, so if you leave it won't hurt him. Now if you want a D/s relationship that is devoid of deeper emotions go for it, otherwise I'd think long and hard.

Ditto...Tempting

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

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Post #: 29

RE: TOUCHING - 5/6/2007 1:42:08 AM

jaunty1

Posts: 102
Joined: 3/20/2007
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Hello

I can not answer for anyone else, but within my relationship melissa is not allowed to touch me at all; privatly and publicly unless she literally BEGS permission to do so.

The reason being for this is that melissa is not a very touchy feely person and yet, I am. At the beginning of our relationship, to help her overcome this, I made it an order that every day she was to beg me to let her touch me, kiss me, or hug me. As time went on, she got over the feeling of being uncomfortable with this. Now, she willingly begs for permission the minute she see's me.

Live well

Alex

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/6/2007 2:01:22 AM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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I would never be with someone who didn't allow random touching with out permission first. I was snuggling up to my now xone time, and he's like did I say you could lay on me? he didn't mean anything rude by it, just reminding me it wasn't my place to take liberties, but I would feel very much fake and scripted if I had to say can I lay here, can I stroke your face in an adoring manner. Asking to do so would dampen the moment. knowing our faces are so sensitive, I love to touch Daddies face, Plus I love kissing his lips and I often pause a movie or tv for a brief* or sometimes not so brief moment* to kiss him. There is no part of him I wish to touch which he doesn't allow me to.

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/9/2007 3:16:54 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Maybe Knight is just like one of the Doms that i know, He just isn't big on Public displays of affection, but doesn't mind it all in private.

heartfelt

actually it has nothing to do with liking or not liking public displays of affection.

kyra said it rather clearly in her post.

"It is a reminder that I do nothing, have nothing unless he allows it."

touching is often an automatic response for people that are affection with each other. Since I want my girls to be very aware of their behaviors... particularly in public... they are required to focus intensely in the manner they behave. I am continuely placing addtional requirements as they learn to adapt to past requirements. Their life is one of giving complete authority... and much what I do is a constant reminder of this transfer and a constant demonstration of this transfer.

And to slaveluci... the girls are rather clear in their understanding of what is a private situation and what is a public situation.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/9/2007 3:22:36 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

It's a way of preventing emotional intimacy. If he keeps you at arms length then you aren't emotionally important to him, so if you leave it won't hurt him. Now if you want a D/s relationship that is devoid of deeper emotions go for it, otherwise I'd think long and hard.

In some cases it is indeed the situation. But such restrictions of removing touchy would be generally applied in all avenues of interactions... public/private. Secondly, in my case.. the girls are required to ask. And ask they do! Often... and I can't think of an occassion that is was denied.

I believe you phrase reflects more your prejudices than it shows any balance of other people's choices. Which still can have intense emotions with a relationship .. even if they take approaches that restrict physical contact.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/9/2007 8:45:34 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jaunty1

Hello

I can not answer for anyone else, but within my relationship melissa is not allowed to touch me at all; privatly and publicly unless she literally BEGS permission to do so.

The reason being for this is that melissa is not a very touchy feely person and yet, I am. At the beginning of our relationship, to help her overcome this, I made it an order that every day she was to beg me to let her touch me, kiss me, or hug me. As time went on, she got over the feeling of being uncomfortable with this. Now, she willingly begs for permission the minute she see's me.

Live well

Alex

I enjoyed this answer, and it is evidence that what may appear to outsiders as one thing is often something entirely different on the inside. In this case, it was for melissa's own benefit to have to ask, yet it seems others have decided (without knowing) if she has to ask, then her Master must be uncaring, unemotional, and unattached.

To answer the OP, I am allowed to kiss his feet or the back of his hands whenever. Lately he has taken to allowing me to lovingly caress his face or hair. But that's pretty much it. Throwing myself in a hug or kiss is not something I would do, and I've certainly learned to not touch the more intimate places without begging to. I respect his rules on this, and don't read any intimacy issues into it either. I'm fully aware of what my Master feels about me.

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/10/2007 4:03:46 AM

maledave7

Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
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Everyone is different. The Dom is in control and sets the ground rules. A sub belongs to the Dom and follows their rules. Personally I find touching as a way to connect to a dominant woman.

(in reply to SUNSHINE48036)

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RE: TOUCHING - 5/14/2007 7:46:56 AM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
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I read this post last week and have been considering it deeply over the weekend so though I would post my musings.

To the OP, there have been times when I have had restrictions on touching my Lord but not generally.

However reading through some of the replies I note that many do not want the non-touching aspect within the relationship. For us it has been a challenge for us both, I am a very touchy person, loving nothing better than louging on the sofa entwined with Sir, but Sir is a very non-touchy person. Now I didn't start out thinking I could 'fix' him, for I don't think he is broken, but I did wonder if I could have a relaitionship with a non-feely person. Over time I have taught myself, with his help, not to buy into feelings of insecurity through lack of physical touch. Now I understand perfectly if he doesn't touch me, he doesn't want to, but that doesn't mean I am not the most important thing in his life. I noted last night as we lounged on the sofa, he was one end, I was the other, both comfortable, relaxed and happy together. There are times when I really need a big cuddle, and mostly, if I ask in the right manner I get what I exactly what I ask for, but if it really doesn't suit him, then I go without, which is fine for me, I understand this relationship has two people in it, both who have wants and needs.

I appreciate what works for one won't work for another, however to hear almost ignorant negativity from submissives and prospectives submissives goes against the grain of what I believe submission to be. For me, part of submission is about being moulded into what your dom wants you to be, to learn how you can best serve him/her, and to be released from the negative learnt behaviour patterns we have already been conditioned into thinking is correct?

:: smiles ::

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