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First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 8:33:40 AM

sweets4u

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline

I'm considering seeing a pro dom for the first time. I really want to go ahead with it but am a little worried since I don't actually know the person. If anyone that has some expeirience with pro doms could give some advice I would appreciate it. THANKS!

Post #: 1

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 8:57:28 AM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Get some references, and follow up on them. Trust is more often misplaced than it is breached. Gain some confidence in the person before jumping in. Ask to see them in action at a party or club or something. Learn how well they will respect your limits and safeword.

(in reply to sweets4u)

Post #: 2

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 9:12:23 AM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

I am kind of confused. Are you going to see him as in a date, or because you are going to hire him?

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 3

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 9:18:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Feel free to ask questions as long as they are mature and polite. You're paying well for a good session and you deserve to have it suit your needs and desires.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrazyC)

Post #: 4

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 9:23:45 AM

sweets4u

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline

To clarify.....I'm a he (sissy) and the dom is a female.

Also it is a pay session.....not a date.

< Message edited by sweets4u -- 5/3/2007 9:25:08 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 10:18:19 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Then you are going to see a pro Domme, not a Dom. The former is female, the latter male. That is why you had people confused.

The important thing to remember is that anyone can call themselves a Pro, and hang out a shingle. It isn't worth squat. What is she experienced in? How much experience does she have? Most importantly, what are her kinks? She could be the bestest pro Domme in the world, but if what she is good at is not what you are looking for, you are wasting your time and money.

Some references wouldn't hurt, but they aren't always reliable, so don't put too much weight on them. You need to know what it is you want. What are your kinks? What are looking for out of a session with her? All these question are things you need to talk to her about directly.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to sweets4u)

Post #: 6

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 10:39:17 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

not all women use the word domme...

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 7

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 10:47:47 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
Then you are going to see a pro Domme, not a Dom. The former is female, the latter male. That is why you had people confused.

A lot of people do not use the word "domme" and use "dom" to mean both male and female.

I think people were confused over whether he was seeing a pro or not, the gender didn't matter.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 8

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/3/2007 10:54:41 PM

Texy

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

Hiya sweets4u,

I went to see a Pro Domme for my first experience. It was important for me for a number of reasons 1) I found out I could be restrained 2) that I was not as afraid of pain as I thought (also good to know what a flogger will do or a cane feels like) 3) that this lifestyle was something I wanted and not just as a passing fad 4) Just to experience it within a safe environment.

I spent 10 days in or near Dallas. The week was GREAT for me in that I served Her personally as well for that weekend. I've never been happier than when serving Her. That was a big eye opener for me. It's one thing to say I am a submissive, it was quite another for me to actually know that I am and know the joy of serving. I also attended a munch that weekend and met many wonderful people in this lifestyle. I experienced firsthand the relationship between a sub and Domme, and between a Master and slave, and a few single folk that talked to me about being safe and playing safe. I was invited to a private party so I had some play time in there as well. I'm still reeling from it. It's pretty slim to non to find people in the lifestyle where I live, so all around it was just a great week.

I found Her on collarme. Did some asking around with people I met here on collarme. She was well known in the Dallas community, had a dungeon in Dallas a few years back, well known to a number of groups in Dallas and also regularly attends 4th Friday there in Dallas. Her involvement in the community made checking up on Her very easy for me. I can say it was a perfect way for me to start. I will add: it took me over three or four hours of reading and re-reading to find Her, time to do the checking up, and I made my appointment more than a month in advance. I wanted to make sure I would show up! psst, I did show up. :-)

Some attitudes on here will state that any Dom/Domme can do the same thing. I went to a Pro because I wanted to be proactive in my journey and take responsibility for finding out on my own where I stood in this lifestyle. Plus when asked by a potential Dom/Domme, I know where I am at this point in my journey.

Good luck in your journey!

gayle

Adding: contact me and I'll tell ya more and who I saw for my first time :-)

"I took the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

< Message edited by Texy -- 5/3/2007 11:21:39 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/5/2007 9:28:44 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Mstrss, Lucky,
**** Sigh ****. Yes not all people use Domme for female and Dom for male. The majority do and it is the standard definition. I've never met a male Domme.

That was also the least important comment in my post. The purpose of it was the advice.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 10

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/5/2007 9:32:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
The majority do and it is the standard definition. I've never met a male Domme.

Majority of who? Where?

I've never met a female domme. I don't use the word, I certainly don't pronounce it in the ridiculous "dom-me" or "dom-may" and I can only guess you think it's a majority thing because of your own experience because I really don't think that's how it actually is in the scene, certainly not with most people who have been around a decade or more.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 11

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/5/2007 10:45:06 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

LA, Condescending does not suit you. You are better than that.

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/5/2007 11:36:08 AM

JennyWench

Posts: 21
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

Hey, SirD, perhaps there should be a licensing board for Doms / Dommes, whatever? good advice that you gave anyway.

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 13

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/6/2007 7:57:12 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Thank you, jenny. It was the advice that was the pertinent part.
Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to JennyWench)

Post #: 14

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/6/2007 12:39:32 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

I wholeheartedly agree with the "research research research" option. Check professional femdom resource websites like MaxFisch, see if you can find others who have worked with the pro in question and ask their opinions of the scenes. References given by the dom herself are likely to be guaranteed positive; by searching out your own references also you will get a more balanced view of the pro.

If possible, I highly recommend meeting the dom in a vanilla setting before the session begins. Some pros require it, some won't consider it. But it gives you a chance to get a feel for her before you have to be the victim.

~E

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to sweets4u)

Post #: 15

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/6/2007 4:56:10 PM

SwPuno

Posts: 72
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline

I would agree the Max Fisch site is a great start as they have a review area for pro-domme sessions. Also check theeroticreview.com and bigdoggie.net.

You should also consider looking into the DC Dominatrixes Yahoo group as they have dinners every other month or so and usually have some pro-dommes from the area there. That gives you a chance to get to know their personality and style a bit without having to commit to a session. You can find them at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DCDominatrixes

In your area, you might also want to look into the MAMA Yahoo group. They are the Maryland Area Mistresses Association and are primarily or maybe exclusively for non-pro dommes and subs but you might meet people you like there as well and who share your interests. You can find them at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/YourMAMA

Hmm. Am I turning into the LA of Yahoo?

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 16

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/6/2007 5:07:52 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweets4u

I'm considering seeing a pro dom for the first time. I really want to go ahead with it but am a little worried since I don't actually know the person. If anyone that has some expeirience with pro doms could give some advice I would appreciate it. THANKS!

Bud....your gig ain't my gig...but seriously....www.craigslist.org.

(in reply to sweets4u)

Post #: 17

RE: First time seeing a Dom - 5/7/2007 6:39:07 AM

sweets4u

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline

THANKS everyone for your advice! I truly appreciate it. I did look at the suggested websites and everything seems on the up and up. I'm going to call her this week and any other fears I have should be ale to be worked out at that time. Thanks gain!!

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 18

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