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Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 3:43:07 PM

HydroMaster

Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
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I keep noticing this phenomenon that confuses me a bit. A sub comes to CM. I browse the female profiles for so this is where I notice this. But feel free to relate this to the male subs too. She is here for 2 or 3 days and is under consideration or outright owned. She is almost always quite young, 18 or 19. Now the part I'm curious about is whether or not these quick start relationships actually work or are doomed to failure. I'm sure from the excited new sub stand point this is their dream. But does it stay that way or are they just being setup to run into the wall by an older dom taking advantage of that youth and excitement?

So, does anyone know of d/s relationships starting of like this and working out? Or is the outcome I picture of total disappointment and possibly worse outcomes more the norm? I know what you're thinking...."a serious post from Hydro?" I have my moments. It's the psych student showing through....it happens. And begin....

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Post #: 1

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 3:56:33 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

While my experience with this has not been online...

I've given some collars too quickly in the past. Sometimes, the relationship simply doesn't work. But, I have one where we feel a bond strong enough to have stopped, taken several steps back and started over. I like it much more now, even though it doesn't have the intensity it did before.

Master Fire

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Post #: 2

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:03:56 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

Young or Old my friend . any relationship that is made official after just 3 days is destined to fail ... you will find the rare occasion of someone who made it work but MOST will fail .... but on a side note the submissive will learn of themselves from a quick relationship . what they want and don't want, what they have inside them and whats not good for them ..... so as it is not such a good thing to jump quickly it will inevitably teach them a valuable lesson ..... whats that saying .. ya gotta kiss alot of frogs before ya get a prince ...

this is just the opinions of Prince Tamer and not necissarily the thoughts of all

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A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

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Post #: 3

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:22:45 PM

HydroMaster

Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
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Pretty sure my subie would agree with the frog comment. She sorted through something like 600 emails before she got to mine. And then it was still another couple months before we were anything but friends. Who knows how many she went through in that amount of time.

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RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:26:31 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

I also agree with the sudden change for acceptance of a collar is doomed for failure. Let's face it, even in vanilla relationships when the lust gets in the way of developing a beneficial relationship, this falls by the wayside because of reality.

I believe in taking things slow before accepting a collar.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 5/3/2007 4:28:36 PM >

(in reply to HydroMaster)

Post #: 5

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:30:42 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

Pretty sure my subie would agree with the frog comment. She sorted through something like 600 emails before she got to mine. And then it was still another couple months before we were anything but friends. Who knows how many she went through in that amount of time.

I hear ya there my friend ... me and my girl were play partners at a club for months taking time to get to know each other without realizing we were even doing such .... and then one day .. BAM ... we were with each other.

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to HydroMaster)

Post #: 6

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:31:21 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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I have seen much the same on the male sub front. I think a lot of the initial turnover is from a form of sub frenzy where someone thinks a little attetion and they have to focus themselves totaly on the first hint of a posibility they come across. The velcro online collars are just that, and a majority of the time I doubt the 2 involved parties even make it long enough to meet face to face before the allure wears off for one or both of them. It took Angel nearly 4 months to be put under consideration (after the first time we met) and even longer to get his formal collar. There have been a few that have collared themselves in my behalf, without my permission or knowledge until I saw it on their profile that they were under my consideration or collared to me. I think, Hydro, that that could be part of it too. The young sub may place the collar on themselves without the Dom actually having made that move yet. They think its a way to win favor, to show their commitment.

My 2 cents
DV

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RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:38:49 PM

HydroMaster

Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I have seen much the same on the male sub front. I think a lot of the initial turnover is from a form of sub frenzy where someone thinks a little attetion and they have to focus themselves totaly on the first hint of a posibility they come across. The velcro online collars are just that, and a majority of the time I doubt the 2 involved parties even make it long enough to meet face to face before the allure wears off for one or both of them. It took Angel nearly 4 months to be put under consideration (after the first time we met) and even longer to get his formal collar. There have been a few that have collared themselves in my behalf, without my permission or knowledge until I saw it on their profile that they were under my consideration or collared to me. I think, Hydro, that that could be part of it too. The young sub may place the collar on themselves without the Dom actually having made that move yet. They think its a way to win favor, to show their commitment.

My 2 cents
DV

This I have seen too. I especially see that in profiles where the sub looks overly eager and lists things like absolutley no limits, will do anything, wants every action to be controlled...that kind of thing. The one I saw that sparked this post, however, already had their profile edited and being monitored by the new master. Whom I'm sure fed the girl a total load of BS to get her that fast. I spend quite a bit of time on here trying to intercept new subs before they jump into things that fast. But they slip through just as often.

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I walk the lonely road,
the only one that I have ever known.

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Post #: 8

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:39:10 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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mmmmmmmm...sub turnovers.

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Post #: 9

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:46:19 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

is that anything like an apple turnover?

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Post #: 10

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 4:48:17 PM

HydroMaster

Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline

Hmm, both sound tasty. Sub turnover in the evening and then have apple turnovers with your sub in the morning.

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the only one that I have ever known.

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Post #: 11

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 5:29:41 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

Hydro, it may not be that their actually being snapped up that quickly...DV said it for me. I've had the same thing happen. Talk to someone a few times and suddenly they say they're under my consideration or attached to me somehow. Uhhh, no, I don't think so. Whether they do it to show favor, suck up or perhaps gain some sort of protection from others I'm not sure about; however I've made sure to set them straight as soon as I've found out! The quickest way to turn me off of someone or lose interest is for them to assume some sort of attachment to me that doesn't exist in the least.

Then again given their youth and presumed inexperience it could be that they simply fell for the "fall on your knees bitch" type of Domming so many seem to feel is weal and twue. I can't imagine it would last long once the blinders are removed after some time and experience.

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How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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Post #: 12

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 5:31:22 PM

Shanghaid

Posts: 76
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

Young or Old my friend . any relationship that is made official after just 3 days is destined to fail ...

Coudn't agree more. I've seen this as well too and have been somewhat horrified by the phenomenon. I think - unfortunately - what happens is they are grabbed-up but a junior wannabe Dom and then.... <shudder>

I'm sure all is sugar & light for awhlie but I wonder about any Dom willing to collar so quickly and without thought.

It's the same as one-night-stands turning into girlfriends/significant others. Happens? Yes. Frequently? NO!

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 13

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 5:45:28 PM

forsakengrace

Posts: 15
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HydroMaster

I keep noticing this phenomenon that confuses me a bit. A sub comes to CM. I browse the female profiles for so this is where I notice this. But feel free to relate this to the male subs too. She is here for 2 or 3 days and is under consideration or outright owned. She is almost always quite young, 18 or 19. Now the part I'm curious about is whether or not these quick start relationships actually work or are doomed to failure. I'm sure from the excited new sub stand point this is their dream. But does it stay that way or are they just being setup to run into the wall by an older dom taking advantage of that youth and excitement?

So, does anyone know of d/s relationships starting of like this and working out? Or is the outcome I picture of total disappointment and possibly worse outcomes more the norm? I know what you're thinking...."a serious post from Hydro?" I have my moments. It's the psych student showing through....it happens. And begin....

I started a relationship that way when I was 19 ... We were together for three years and we're still good friends. So yeah, it can work.

(in reply to HydroMaster)

Post #: 14

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 5:51:19 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

is that anything like an apple turnover?

Depends on the level of experience. It might be a cherry turnover. Or if she used to be a stripper, a pastie pasty?

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Post #: 15

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 6:33:08 PM

pianogirl

Posts: 1329
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Alberta Canada
Status: offline

I had this happen to me when I first came to the site last year - very new to the lifestyle regardless of my age. I got pounced on, and collars of consideration slipped around my neck not understanding what was involved. When I finally figured things out I was really pissed that someone would take advantage of my lack of knowledge.

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Post #: 16

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 6:33:18 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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Well, you have to take some of these with a grain of salt. Since they claim to be 18 or 19, some could be some HNG wanker out for kicks. Could be an aging female trying out a fantasy. Could be a 15 year old playing on the computer claiming to be 19. Or, if it's really an 18 or 19 year old girl, just claiming to "owned" by someone.....how much about being "owned" could your average 18 year old know, really? (Yes, I know there are a few who got started at an early age...but in general) It's why the number looks a lot higher than it really is.

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Post #: 17

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/3/2007 6:47:25 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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I think it's a mix of actual 18-19 year olds and the HNG posing as one profiles, and any other type that may use that front. Clueless newbies lost in sub frenzy accepting a collar or consideration too fast, or claiming it to gain attention of one kind or another. Which any one of them is, is anyone's guess without contacting and communicating with them a bit.

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Post #: 18

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/4/2007 3:48:34 AM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
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as i've seen it many 18-19 y/o's tend to be what my Mate calls "bots" and not to be concerned with if they have little or nothing to their profiles.
however, some at this age are newly freed of the 'rents. just in the adult scene and wanting something ( read someone ) that makes them feel secure. they may identify as submissive because they think subs are meant to be insecure. they'll learn better on their own terms.

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Post #: 19

RE: Here and gone...quick sub turnover - 5/4/2007 4:41:14 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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That, and loudly proclaiming to be "under consideration" or "owned" is such a status symbol, lol.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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Post #: 20

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