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BondageTopJere -> RE: Simple. Submissive men are damaged. (5/4/2007 12:56:19 AM)
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quote:
Submissive men are men who chose to DECIDE who and what they want to be instead of letting history, evolution, and humanity's ancient history tell him who he is. Our culture no longer needs aggressive men to protect women when they are pregnant. It is no longer man against the elements. Now that civilization is developed to this point, man can choose his roles using intellect instead of raw instinct.
I'm arguing this statement tto some degree. Many people in BDSM are here because the standard vanilla way of having relationship simply does not work for them instinctually, and in fact I've talked to several people RL and online that have said the submission/dominance is something they have felt their entire lives, including their childhood years. Very rarely do people make a purely intellectual choice about anything. They almost always have to choose between what thier instinct tells them, and what their learned behaviors tell them.
In the case of submissive men, thier instinct is to submit, their learned behavior tells them to take charge. Much of what the OP about damage, trauma etc, is self-inflicted in many cases. So yes, while civilization has developed to the point where submisive men now have a chance to follow their own inborn instinct, they have to un-learn what would be reinforcing behaviors in non-submissive men and what is for them self-defeating behaviors. Actually I think this may be very responsible for what I've seen a few threads from Dommes about "disappearing" subs, ones that seem geniune until they time comes until they have to actually submit, then they "poof". They most likely DO want to submit, but have their own anxieties and inabilities to let go scare them away from, quite ironically enough, the one person most eomtionally equipped to help them, a Domme.
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