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PairOfDimes -> RE: How to humiliate online? (5/4/2007 7:20:33 PM)
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Humiliation and other mental play are uncommonly individualized among BDSM activities. You need to choose the humiliation tools that work for your particular bottom or submissive--not the ones that work for the majority of people who respond to this thread, as you're not humiliating them.
So, in order to effectively humiliate a given person, you need to learn what makes that person feel humiliated. Asking him to tell you what humiliates him might make him feel deliciously uneasy, and it will also give you further ammunition, so I would recommend that as a starting place. After that, suggest things and ask--or try things and ask.
Then, too, it's wise to consider what, of all the things that embarrass, degrade, or humiliate this person, which of those things are "fair game" to play with. That is, a person might be successfully humiliated by attacks on, say, his or her intelligence, but this may not elicit feelings that he or she wants. When some people say they want humiliation play, they mean that they want to feel a little naughty and they like dirty talk. Others want "humiliation play" that makes them feel despondent and disgusting and foolish and unproductive. You don't want a mismatch of expectations like that!
Monica
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