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bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/5/2007 12:31:23 AM

EvaLass

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Joined: 5/4/2007
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Hey, guys, thanks for the comments on bukkake. I am in discussions with this potential Dom. I've enjoyed the limited amount of time we've spent together, along with emails and telephone conversations. We have chemistry. I am discovering that he is really big on humiliation. I think some of it is mainly role play, but not all of it. He mentioned taking me out in public looking like a slut, for instance. In real life, I appear to be a nice girl.

I noticed that someone on the board asked for some examples of humiliation and got flamed. Well, I don't want everybody to share his/her stories of humiliation, but I am curious about whether you think it is damaging psychologically. If you tie somebody up in ropes, you may create fear, but it goes away quickly after the experience. Is humiliation a more serious form of sadism? I am not sure. The truth is - that this Dom doesn't know - is that I am not humiliated very easily. I gave him a list of practices with a couple of hard limits (blood, gore, group sex), practices that I am not particularly fond of (severe beatings and whippings), and those that I might enjoy (role play, sensory play, bondage). Humiliation fell into the "jury is still out" group. Now, I realize that he is having a blast dreaming up humiliation games to play with me because it falls into the grey category. This could mean asking me to take my panties off at dinner, play with myself in public, flirt with strangers, god knows what he has in mind. He is crafty and wiley, smarter than I thought.

So, my original question still stands: does this very bright group of submissives on this board believe that humiliation is a serious form of sadism? Or, does it fall into the category of "affectionate sadism" - in that the Dom does things that turns him on because they appear humiliating, and the submissive plays along and pretends to be humiliated because it makes the Dom happy? Then, they go home, get turned on, and you know the rest of the story.

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RE: bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/5/2007 8:55:08 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvaLass

Hey, guys, thanks for the comments on
does this very bright group of submissives on this board believe that humiliation is a serious form of sadism? Or, does it fall into the category of "affectionate sadism" - in that the Dom does things that turns him on because they appear humiliating, and the submissive plays along and pretends to be humiliated because it makes the Dom happy? Then, they go home, get turned on, and you know the rest of the story.

what's humiliating to one is a turn on for another and vice-versa; so in my opinion, and depending on which way the ball bounces, it could be considered serious sadism or affectionate sadism, though i'm inclined to feel that 'serious sadism' is more in line with degragation then humiliation.

< Message edited by daddysliloneds -- 5/5/2007 8:57:12 AM >

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RE: bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/5/2007 1:04:11 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

Now, I realize that he is having a blast dreaming up humiliation games to play with me because it falls into the grey category. This could mean asking me to take my panties off at dinner, play with myself in public, flirt with strangers, god knows what he has in mind. He is crafty and wiley, smarter than I thought.

Sometime i think they do it just because it is fun for them and also a test to see how far you will go with your obedience. Have fun with it, just don't get arrested LOL.

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RE: bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/5/2007 2:41:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Like all kinks, it can go as soft or extreme as you like.

The other person got "flamed" because they were just looking for an easy laundry list of ways to humiliation someone after hardly even knownig them.

That's not really how humiliation works. What humliates most people runs right off my back. What humiliates me might devastate someone else, or make them not blink at all.

As always, what matters is whether you both fulfill eachother and accept the expectations of the relationship.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_557686/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#557707
Embarassment vs humiliation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_354018/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#354196
humiliation???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412944/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#413037
what is good humiliation to you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_426015/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#426025
humiliation vs degradation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_489256/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#489324
humiliation and vulnerability

http://www.collarchat.com/m_310209/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#310223
Humiliation- verbal and physical

http://www.collarchat.com/m_266448/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#266532
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RE: bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/6/2007 12:20:28 AM

EvaLass

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Hey, thanks for the comments. I did some online reading on humiliation. I think that sexual humiliation is an exchange between two consenting partners that is pleasurable and safe. When someone steps over the line and starts doing things that disfigure another person or put their life in jeopardy, then it becomes pathological. So, it is a common activity practiced by more people than would probably admit it, and it is regarded my many psycholologists and social scientists as perfectly normal in the lexicon of sexual expression.

I guess the bottom line is if no one is complaining, what's the problem?

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RE: bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/6/2007 9:28:55 AM

daddysprop247

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From: DC Metro area
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hi EvaLass....my view on humiliation is a bit different than some. from talking with various people over the years on the subject, i've come to discover that many view humiliation more as you described here: the Dom does things that turns him on because they appear humiliating, and the submissive plays along and pretends to be humiliated because it makes the Dom happy? Then, they go home, get turned on, and you know the rest of the story.

if it's not real, then it isn't humiliation in my book. however i wouldn't go so far as to call humiliation sadism...of course it could be so, but not necessarily. i would say that it can be a form of emotional masochism for the one being humiliated...there are those who crave or desire emotional and psychological pain just as there are those who crave and desire physical pain. when my Master subjects me to humiliation, it is always to teach a lesson either in humility or in minding my place. i need these lessons but for me they are not enjoyable, and are not meant to be so. when he degrades me otoh, tho the emotional suffering is worse, i am mentally and sometimes even physically aroused by what is happening.

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RE: bukkake and other forms of humiliation - 5/7/2007 8:31:59 PM

Sirandlittle1

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Joined: 12/22/2005
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Humiliation for us, works this way.
he humiliates me, i become 'lowered' instantly. I dont enjoy being humiliated. I love/hate it. However, my clit has a mind of its own, and the juices flow. Even though i know im gonna get horny from this, im still at the stage where i feel like i want the ground to open up and swallow me, followed by my inner voice (and his) pointing out how hot im getting from it. Such sick fucks we are.
I do not view this as sadistist/maso activity, as its a win win situation, allbeit, for very different reasons.

At no point, is it not reciprocally enjoyed, but for very different reasons. So it works. There are couples where the sub gets nowt personally from this type of play, but goes along with it for the D. But clearly, there are other areas that the s does get their fix, which is why they hang around.
Its a matter of balance and personal preference. Personally, im crap at doing stuff i dont enjoy for too long. But get my mind motivated and im there with bells on, just for the reward that comes later.

little1

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