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How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 2:23:28 AM   
Mandalin


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		I really need help! I know my Master loves me...but he seems to have no lust for me anymore. I've tried everything from crying and begging... ignoring...doing special pleasures...changing myself into want I think he wants...and nothing is working. He jumps on the internet and visits every lesbian and bondage website he can find, everytime I leave the house or when I'm sleeping. When I confront him about it, he says I dont know what I'm talking about, and I'm being paranoid. He doesnt realize I can see everything he's doing in the reflection of the window....

My question is...how do I turn his attentions back to me...we've been together for 15 years now, and I dont know or want anything else but him...am I too late, or is there something else I can do that I havent thought of yet?
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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 3:39:36 AM   
Chilli


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Simple! Wait until he is very very drunk, tie all his limbs and then thrust an ample proportion of vegetable up his rectum. Then laugh a lot and leave.

*of course it is not at all SS or C to do such a thing so always pre-arrange his mother to arrive complete with apartment key.


(in reply to Mandalin)
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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 3:41:00 AM   
tasteofhunney


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/21/2005
Status: offline 		your Master somewhat sounds like mine...its called internet addiction..maybe make yourself less available and do your own thing like a craft or something you like to do...it could be a phase or something.........somedays i can't figure it out.
i think maybe at a certain age they go through meneopause just like woman and get in a rut....if you want to tlak more please e-mail me and i will respond

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 5:41:48 AM   
subcharmedlilone


Posts: 17
Joined: 5/1/2005
Status: offline 		unplug the computer that will get u alot of attention real quick all Master go through this stage even mine has he will come out of it believe me and it will be better than ever

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subcharmedlilone formally lilonegww

(in reply to Mandalin)
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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 5:45:20 AM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		We just got the internet disconnected and that worked well for us. I still have it at school, but not at home (I am the internet addict in my relationship, not on porn though, just message boards like this one)

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 5:46:06 AM   
Mandalin


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you Chilli for making me laugh with your reply!

And yes tasteofhunney...I believe he is going through some sort of meneopause or mid-life crisis...and I know it's an internet addiction! I would'nt mind so much if he didnt try to hide it from me and just talk about it, I'm very open minded! I would love to talk more about this with you if you wouldnt mind. I really appreciate it! Thank you!

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 5:55:04 AM   
Mandalin


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		It's comforting to know I'm not the only one to deal with this....

subcharmedlilone...I had visions of myself smashing the computer into a million pieces...but then I'm addicted to message boards like this one, and I would have no one to talk to then...

Thank you for all your replies...you've already helped me more than you can imagine!

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 1:04:22 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I'm the internet addict in our family, mostly games and message boards. There are times when Hubby gets upset about it so i've made an effort to move to the couch every night and watch a movie with Him. I used to watch the movies while i played games but He knew i wasn't paying attention to it and that annoyed Him. I think one reason He likes to take me out to eat so much is to get me off the puter.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 5:17:45 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

My question is...how do I turn his attentions back to me...we've been together for 15 years now, and I dont know or want anything else but him...am I too late, or is there something else I can do that I havent thought of yet?


I have to say, what everyone here has said about Internet addiction is true. I'm not as bad as I used to be but it comes and goes. I actually go through phases... But I can say that I've never turned down a social invite for the Internet. I understand some people do. Ultimately, we make our own choices in life.

But getting back to your dilemma, here is an idea. It may or may not work depending on the dynamic in your relationship and your personal interests. But it might just work ;)

Ask him if you could look at some of the sites with him. He might say no at first, and if so, mention something like "well if you ever change your mind... it might excite me too". Try a few times. In my experience, men can be a little shy at first when it comes to watching porn with women, but once they see you are getting aroused too, it becomes a turn on for them. You can turn this into a form of foreplay.

Of course, the danger is that this could become your routine form of foreplay. But there are ways around this if you can work on compromises, like for example if one night you propose another type of foreplay. Or say you want to re-enact a scene you saw on one of these sites.

Creative solutions, though not a guaranteed fix, tends to get people out of ruts.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 7:14:16 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well I'm going to take a different position on this. Have you considered expressing an interest in joining him? Perhaps look at websites with him...find links to sites you feel he would find interesting. When he expresses interest in something, perhaps suggest that the two of you try it together? I don't think begging or pleading would work, and may actually end up working against you. Not many people want to feel pressured.

He may also have a other things on his mind...like work, money, or whatever other stressors he may have in his life. This may be his way of relaxing without having to think about his problems. It may have nothing to do with him having "no lust" for you anymore and much more to do with worries.

I am a bit of a voyeur...actually more so than my owner is , but we really enjoy doing that sort of thing together as a rule. Makes it much more...errrr...interesting for both of us.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I could be way off base in my feeble attempt at playing armchair psychologist, but if nothing else, hopefully it gives food for thought.


best regards,
fate


*Edited to add....yes...what Lady A said! Egads, I need to learn to read all of the posts before responding.

< Message edited by stormsfate -- 5/6/2005 7:15:24 PM >

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Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/6/2005 8:15:13 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

*Edited to add....yes...what Lady A said! Egads, I need to learn to read all of the posts before responding.


I've done this myself! I'm glad to see my idea wasn't completely out there ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/7/2005 12:46:25 AM   
Mandalin


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		At first when this all started, and I would walk in the room, he would click off these sites and go to another one waiting on the side...like e-bay or something simular. So after awhile of this, I started asking him why he was doing this, and it was ok, he didnt need to hide what he was looking at. But he continued to click off every time...and that's when I became upset, and then I kind of demanded to know what he was hiding from me in a fit of rage. Which made matters worse...so I figured I needed to do a 360' and that's when I asked him if we could look at them together. I explained to him that I didnt care at all where or what he was doing...just dont hide it from me. It worked for a little while..and now he's doing it again. So, I learned what these sites were and went to all of them and this has eased my mind 100% and now I dont say anything at all to him about it...and that's where we are today. I dont like having this part of our lives separate...but I'm afraid because I got all upset at first...he's now "gun shy".
But as you mentioned...it could be because he has a very demanding job...and we have a teenage daughter that's testing us all the time....and that has given me a whole new understanding about all this...and I need to give him this "outlet" and be patient until I can think of "plan C", LOL! But, any advice on that one too, I will greatly welcome!
Thank you all for your help! I really feel so much better already!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/7/2005 6:58:24 AM   
Jacen


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/24/2004
Status: offline 		Buy a sports car for him and then have sex in it.
If its life stress, you can try something along the lines of: plan a set weekend, where the daughter will be shipped off to friends/family/band camp, ect. I highly reccomend starting it off with massages. And hot tubs are always good. Do things you know he likes, such as dinners, events, ect. Basically, the idea is a no pressure, no stress mini-vacation from the real world.

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/7/2005 6:59:10 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

and I need to give him this "outlet" and be patient until I can think of "plan C",


Everyone needs alone time. Everyone needs their own private space. If this is this iw what helps him decompress, then perhaps for the moment, this is what he needs.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/8/2005 2:29:24 PM   
tasteofhunney


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/21/2005
Status: offline 		here is another idea for you.... make up a new chat name and send Him messages when He is not there or from another computer...i do that and my Master knows its me...i do have a lot of fun trying different things...of course you need a different pic and age etc on the profile....have fun on telling HIm about the conversation with your new name and see if He catches on.....lol

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/8/2005 6:38:59 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		It sounds like it could be a age crisis problem. Sometimes it seems like men want to be wanted again, or get new challenges in their love life, because they are feeling like time is wearing their sex-appeal out.

If I was in your shoes, I would probably go out and have fun somewhere else, meeting new people. And maybe start a new romance, leaving little traces in the way for him to suspect.

But I read a little more and you mention that you two have a teenage daughter, wich makes it a little bit harder for you.

Maybe (it's just a crazy thought) you should ask if there's something wrong with him, how is he feeling in this moment of his life, if he has acomplished everything he ever wanted. If there is no answer, try to give him what he wants...A real time lesbian scene!, No clicking!, No banners!, No downloads! Just the real thing, LIVE!.

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/8/2005 7:30:02 PM   
Mandalin


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		Hi gretchen,
Yes, he does have a lesbian fetish and I have thought many times if I could only give him a real life lesbian show. I'm not a lesbian, but I have no problem with giving it a try for him...but we live in a small town and I dont know of any lesbians around here. So I've got my work cut out for me to be able to accomplish that idea.
I do go out on my own and play pool on a league...and this is the funny part...he gets real moody and short with me when I'm leaving on pool league nights, it really bothers him when I'm not here. It all tends to be a bit confusing for me reguarding his emotions and interests....but with everyones ideas and replies for me with this, I'm starting to understand and except this situation and dealing with it doesnt seem as horrid as I thought it was. So Thank You again everyone!

(in reply to gretchen)
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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/9/2005 5:40:49 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		I'm so sorry to hear all this. The thing is...I know how it feels to not wake up any lust on the person you love. It's really painful, confusing, and you never know what to do. The only exit I had when I was in this kind of relationship was meeting other men, and forget for a moment about my disapointments and frustations.

The solution to my problem was break up, forget and learn. But in a marriage it's totaly different. Maybe he's afraid of losing you or missing you every time you go out. But in the moment he gets angry at you for going out, it's the perfect time to really confront him or just keep ignoring him.

I'm sorry to hear it, I know by experience how much it hurts.

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RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/13/2005 7:22:32 AM   
Kiaban


Posts: 124
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mandalin

I really need help! I know my Master loves me...but he seems to have no lust for me anymore. I've tried everything from crying and begging... ignoring...doing special pleasures...changing myself into want I think he wants...and nothing is working. He jumps on the internet and visits every lesbian and bondage website he can find, everytime I leave the house or when I'm sleeping. When I confront him about it, he says I dont know what I'm talking about, and I'm being paranoid. He doesnt realize I can see everything he's doing in the reflection of the window....

My question is...how do I turn his attentions back to me...we've been together for 15 years now, and I dont know or want anything else but him...am I too late, or is there something else I can do that I havent thought of yet?


I think even more disturbing than him not paying attention to you [if thats possible] is the lying about it which means there is definately something wrong in my book.


(in reply to Mandalin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do I get my Master's attention? - 5/13/2005 7:25:27 AM   
Kiaban


Posts: 124
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		One more thing to try:
walk naked to the door and say "Honey I am going out to bonk the local high school football team and then stop by the store is there anything you need?"
errr..ok that might not be good in case he says "bring back beer" just trying to add a little humor.

(in reply to gretchen)
Profile   Post #: 20
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