RE: No fancy catchy title... just need some honesty

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RE: No fancy catchy title... just need some honesty - 5/7/2007 3:07:35 PM

shyinini

Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExtremeOwnerIL

quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra
Hello ExtremeOwner. I tend to think it is because it is kind of expected in this culture to look at kink first and the rest later because of the highly charged symbolism.

Which is interesting because if I look at the "symbolisms" used - let's take the words for example - it is very much NOT a sexual reference but a status of property or owner, or a reference to power.

It surely depends on the perspective you come from and the life you now led, IMHO.

EO.... One day about 6 months ago I was so upset with the mind frame on here, discussing a relationship like it is ONLY sexually based...and while the link taht keeps us linked might be the kink... Sirs and mind is the control and obedience exchange...and as we get toknow each other even better, he istaking control of more than sexual things in my life.... (side stepped).....
the fact taht relationships start so differntly inthis lifestyle and yet have one common demoninator... the D and the s MUST share the same sort of sexual activiites and be of like mind in other aspects to even start a relationship....

It is NOT like dating a guy (somewhere out there)and one day finding out after about 3 months of dating taht sexually you dont click.... if I met a dude who would NOT bite my nips...damn, would I want to stay with him? What if the dude is not into service from me? Will I be doomed for ever being June Cleaver or will I find some extreme sexual control in the bedroom taht makes washing dishes, doing laundry a joyous task?
Maybe I am jilted.
I contacted a Domme, well known in the Midwest (and on here) and asked her...why are the message boards so filled with the sexual aspect of D/s? She actually toldme that the sexual aspects is waht EVERYONE wants to hear about, not the mundane day in anbd day out service taht each s type performs for her D type. Its all service oriented, but have you read the p[rofiles of some who say they are service oriented and it ONLY means sexual?

I have been ona nd off here for over 4 years and I know the climate here and have witnessed the s's being released, loosing faith and leaving the D. As I did.

I think we as human beings like to think about the sexual submission first and all others kinds of submission later.

I refused to met a Dom who would discuss the sexual aspect first. I never put taht on a profile. But a Dom, a very good man, emailed me, responded to my blog and emailed me. We discussed our philosophy of D/s first... THAT WAS MOST IMPOORTANT TO ME IN RELATIONSHIP. We were on the same page. OK...lets see if sexually we are on the same page while at the same time we were discussing other relational issues.

With the ex dom it was all talk about sex..... and relatinship wise we are just NOT compatable...he was dishonest, I believe fervantly in honesty and loyalty. He could have cared less. It just took me longer to realize it thatn the normal "old woman" cause I choose to not see it for 2 yrs. Lesson learned. Pray I never make the same mistake.

I was here under this screen name, never posting but fervantly reading for a year, then he changed my name and I began posting thinki8ng this was waht it was supposed to be like. I WAS WRONG.
Thus the 4 yr span I mentioned.

Who the fuck wants to hear my shit...plese sir, if you ahve any other questions, please ask them in email.

And thank you RL I am at peace and my soul rests. The one who owns me has seen to it. I get so much attention now that I am afraid sometimes I get tooo much. I hope to God love NEVER haunts this relationship like the last one.

Love is not all that it is made out to be. It is just an emotion.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to ExtremeOwnerIL)

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RE: No fancy catchy title... just need some honesty - 5/9/2007 8:56:38 AM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic

The thing about the lifestyle is, there is just as much confusion, heartbreak, and drama in relationships here as there is in vanilla land.

The sex is just a hell of a lot better.

.....well said MissO!

(in reply to MissOchistic)

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RE: No fancy catchy title... just need some honesty - 5/9/2007 1:13:44 PM

subtravels

Posts: 89
Joined: 4/23/2007
Status: offline

I, for one, do not think of you as an asshole for being wise enough to know what you want, and what you don't...and for being courageous enough to vocalize this. I write from the perspective of one who wishes that someone had been cruel and equally kind enough not to string me along. So, I applaud your stance and admire it, whether it's a popular choice or not.

quote:

There is a woman on here, a delicious woman who I have have talked to and exchanged racy pics with who I felt was going to be interested in more than I might want to give. I pushed her away in that case because I was afraid she might not yet be able to handle it. So, am I an asshole when I don't push them away or when I do?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

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Post #: 23