RE: born to Domme or can it be taught???

RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (Full Version)

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canupleaseme -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/9/2007 2:13:21 AM)
I think your either born a leader or a follower and as you get older you develope interests that suit your personality and some women become Dommes and some dont. I think thats just down to your interests. I wasnt born dominant, in fact mostof my friends and family would tell you they think I'm quite submissive in life well my vanilla life anyway, circumstance never allowed me to test my dominant nature till about 4 years ago and I would say now I'm 100% dominant in my relationship. Its something I was interested in and have grown into and taken time to learn and develope. That said I watch some of my friends U.M's and my own and in their behaviour patterns now if I had to say what my U.M was going to be I'd sayshe would definatly be a submissive. Her personality is a people pleaser and she is at her happiest when she is making others happy and thats just who she is. Wether she goes on in later life to be a submissive or just a really nice helpful person who puts others before herself only time will tell and that will be her decision to make. I think though that rather than try and "mould" someone in to what your looking for (which seems a bit topping from the bottom to me?) You would be better off finding someone who is already sure of herself and her wants and comfortable in her own role.

caningexpert -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/9/2007 4:03:41 PM)
Yes I agree that we are probably born with a Dominant gene! But life does not always let it grow, and sometimes circumstances can hide it well, social conditioning also plays a big part, expectations from society and family. But then often things happen in life and out that gene pops, and then life is never the same. I think if you try and mould a girlfriend or a sub is a Dominant, well isnt that more about role play as compared to Lifestyle?

Politesub53 -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/9/2007 4:11:36 PM)
i think you are what you are, sure you can roleplay the part of Dominant or Submissive. Deep down though you are one or the other, or even a mixture of both. i dont think you can teach someone to be something they are not, and if you teach a g/f to be Domme, then She was Domme to start with. Even if She didnt realise it and you opened Her eyes as to what She was. [;)]

LadyPact -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/9/2007 5:55:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 i think you are what you are, sure you can roleplay the part of Dominant or Submissive. Deep down though you are one or the other, or even a mixture of both. i dont think you can teach someone to be something they are not, and if you teach a g/f to be Domme, then She was Domme to start with. Even if She didnt realise it and you opened Her eyes as to what She was. [;)] I think you can teach anyone how to learn to crack a whip.... It doesn't make them a Domme.

Aimtoplease101 -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/9/2007 10:38:04 PM)
I don't know if you can "make" someone into a dominant if it's not in their nature. However, I can say from personal experience that you can introduce people into the D/s world and they can discover a Domme inside them that they never knew was there, or didn't know how to let out. I think society still, in many ways, tends to discourage women from assuming dominant roles, so sometimes there are barriers to overcome. But if you can do it, and provide the positive feedback and response that we all like to get on some level, you can discover the dominant inside of someone and bring her out. Regards, ATP

Politesub53 -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/10/2007 2:20:25 AM)
Please excuse me going off at a tangent here. Does anyone think that a submissive who has had several bad experiences can just switch roles ? ( i`m not talking about myself here lol ) I`m just curious if someone could just say " Enough " and do a full U-Turn. Also can someone be made to be submissive or is that something that is already deep within oneself. my own view is if you try and force someone who is not a natural submissive to be one, the relationship may work for a while, but resentment at being forced will eventually cause problems. [;)]

addicted2it -> RE: born to Domme or can it be taught??? (5/10/2007 4:41:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 Please excuse me going off at a tangent here. Does anyone think that a submissive who has had several bad experiences can just switch roles ? ( i`m not talking about myself here lol ) I`m just curious if someone could just say " Enough " and do a full U-Turn. Also can someone be made to be submissive or is that something that is already deep within oneself. my own view is if you try and force someone who is not a natural submissive to be one, the relationship may work for a while, but resentment at being forced will eventually cause problems. [;)] Of course it is possible for someone to switch roles, but I believe that one has to be hard wired as a switch. I have personally found myself in that situation several times over the course of my life (that is, giving up trying to find a good fit with a domme, then changing course and going in the opposite direction because of frustration). I've also gone in the direction of vanilla (that is, little or no BDSM in the relationship). For me, neither works for very long. When we are talking about switching roles, I personally don't believe people who can switch are necessarily 50 percent sub and 50 percent dom/domme. In my case, I am much more sub than dom, and I completely indentify as a sub, but then I tend to attract submissive women -- or maybe it is because there are just more submissive woman (submissives people) in the market place. I don't know of any statistics to support this theory. I am only speaking from my own experience, which may or may not be the consensus of opinion here in this forum. I don't believe that it is healthy to hide who we are from ourselves, because it eventually does come back to haunt us. And if one pretends to be something that they are not, one also runs the risk of hurting others because of that self-deception.

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