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Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 1:03:57 PM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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I haven't been out in a party setting for almost the entire time I was with my last dom. When he decided he could not be sadistic any longer and went back to the nilla world I was .. shattered I guess.
I used to be popular. I was sought after. Even though I am older, I am somewhat cute and men have liked me in my life. Somehow I lost the confidence that came with knowing that people enjoyed being around me. Well.. last night I went out for the first time in what seems like forever.
And.. I still have it!
LOL I feel so relieved to know I can still be social and confident among strangers.
I even had an offer to date from one very nice looking gentleman there.
So today I am jazzed.
For me.. I find I require external influences to bring me back into feeling good about myself.
I know friends who use the self affirmations thing to make them realise they are good, pretty, ect. But for me, I NEED the attention from males. Let me correct that... males that exude confidence in themselves.
I am wondering if this is a trait common to subs? That our security is dependant on how people see us?
When you lose your confidence what do you need to recover?
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 1:12:02 PM

daddysliloneds

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quote:

I know friends who use the self affirmations thing to make them realise they are good, pretty, ect. But for me, I NEED the attention from males. Let me correct that... males that exude confidence in themselves.
I am wondering if this is a trait common to subs? That our security is dependant on how people see us?
When you lose your confidence what do you need to recover?
Kyst

nope, not a common trait, or perhaps it is, but not in my world! when i lose my confidence(and i'm figuring you mean self-confidence here), i find time alone for introspection, and improve what made my confidence shake in the first place.

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 2:01:39 PM

Missokyst

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LOL well shoot. I am very introspective. Unfortunately that always leads to me finding more reasons I am not perfect. I have no issues with confidence on intelligence, talent, ect. But personal interactions? YIKES.
On my own I am quiet, even a little introverted. Until I am forced into a social setting then I come out my cocoon for a bit and see whats around me.
I wish I could find that social confidence when i am sitting home thinking about why things happen.
You are lucky!
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 3:02:46 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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Liking positive affirmation of who we feel we are or want to be is a common trait for everyone. The pitfall comes when the affirmation becomes approval and we start to base our own sense of self worth on that outward approval. That's pretty common, too. None of it has anything to do with Ds or Ms role.

Master Fire

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 4:01:12 PM

earthycouple

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I agree with MasterFireMaam

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 5:12:31 PM

aldompdx

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Confidence is within yourself. Resonating with another's confidence helps inspire your own. It is not give and take.

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 5:25:48 PM

windchymes

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It's a common HUMAN trait. It's not exclusive to subs.

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 7:35:46 PM

SimplyMichael

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Missokyst,

Woman you are just north of me, I am in Sacramento. I know the scene up there is a bit fractured but Cat does seem to be good at that. The scene down here isn't much better and I can't decide if I care enough to try again or not. However, we have some lively groups and there is a munch down in Marysville which while a drive isn't that far.

If you ever get down here, drop me a line and I would be happy to either escort you to an event, have coffee, or whatever. I just had no idea you were so local to me, well local by a few hours but you ARE in the boonies. I get up there once in a while to buy fancy walnut lumber.

Anyway, I know for me that while I try and base my security internally, it is still nice to get compliments!

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 7:51:47 PM

Missokyst

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Hi Michael,
Yes I have been to Marysville munches, the list owner is a buddy o' mine. I am just starting to jump back into the game after a long time doing private. I was at SC's party last night. LOL I am one of the people who doesn't have any issues with her. I accept she is who she is, and I can let it be. <g> It isn't my job to change her. And it isn't her idea to intimidate me. That would be unlikely even if it was. I find the bitchiness between groups is something to ignore. My own original group started out as an offshoot because I enjoy chatting and it wasn't something the original list enjoyed. It was only after that split things spun out up here. People dislike change.

I dislike stagnation. I am glad I am finally seeing my way out of my gloom and can get back into the vital dynamic self.

It feels good to be back in the game and to know I still can spark some interest. I would love to meet you someday. Keep in the game.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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RE: Pretty Jazzed today.. - 5/6/2007 8:10:27 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Liking positive affirmation of who we feel we are or want to be is a common trait for everyone. The pitfall comes when the affirmation becomes approval and we start to base our own sense of self worth on that outward approval. That's pretty common, too. None of it has anything to do with Ds or Ms role.

Master Fire

I read no further than this...spot on Masterfire...Tempting

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