People wanting to meet us as a couple always approach the sub not the dom?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> People wanting to meet us as a couple always approach the sub not the dom?

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People wanting to meet us as a couple always approach t... - 5/6/2007 2:32:49 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Anyone have any idea what causes this phenomenon?

When people online (almost always men) want to meet my master and I as a couple, for coffee or at a munch or event, they 99% of the time approach me about it. I'm his slave and have -no- decision making power to meet anyone, so I invariably tell them to start by getting to know him and asking him for the invitation. They act all surprised/offended and say they'll write to him and never do.

On the other hand, whenever we appear at munches/events they always approach my master and begin by speaking to him if they want to see us as a couple. The only exception sometimes being if it's a shy female sub who'll end up being more my friend than his anyway.

So what causes this behavior difference online versus offline? What do you think would happen if I managed to convince my master to go ahead and meet the person, who contacted me but not him, at a munch; would such a person behave normally in real life?

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 2:37:03 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Put in your profile that you aren't permitted decision-making power.
Don't ask why people do goofy stuff on-line, half of the people you talk to are typing with one hand, ya know? (anyway, that's how I view it)

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 2:46:30 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Actually, I find it kind of nice. I like to get to know someone before sending them heading in the direction of my Daddy. And...meeting a woman offline seems to be less daunting than meeting a man. That's just the way it seems to me.

I find no harm in them contacting me first, and I also find no harm in meeting them without my Daddy present...with His permission of course. But, it's my job to ask permission, not theirs. But, that's our dynamic.

In an offline situation, general protocols are that you would approach the Dominant partner first. It's not set in stone...just a general thing. Besides, you're right there in front of them and presumably surrrounded by people. Meeting/approaching a Dominant male in that situation is less daunting. I mean...they can't cut you up and put you in the wood chipper right there at the munch, can they?

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 4:23:56 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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A) because the slave very often is the one more approachable and more open to new people...and of course there's the stereotypes that slaves can be fooled more

B) because very often a slave is like an advisor to a master. Sometimes to get to ear of the king, you go through the footman.

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 4:29:37 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
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LOL about the "advisor to King" analogy :)
If anything he's by far the more social one of the two of us.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 4:53:53 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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I think it's more likely to be:

C) They want to pretend that your master doesn't exist, and see whether you just might be amenable to meeting new people without him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) because the slave very often is the one more approachable and more open to new people...and of course there's the stereotypes that slaves can be fooled more

B) because very often a slave is like an advisor to a master. Sometimes to get to ear of the king, you go through the footman.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 5:02:57 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A) because the slave very often is the one more approachable and more open to new people...and of course there's the stereotypes that slaves can be fooled more

B) because very often a slave is like an advisor to a master. Sometimes to get to ear of the king, you go through the footman.

Uhhhhmmm....NO!!!!

(It's because she's the chic....the subscribers are guys....and they're guys....ergo....sum vertae).

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 5:21:04 PM

NakedGirlScout

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
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LordandMaster seems to hit pretty close to the vibe I get off those guys. Maybe they can't pretend Master isn't there when he's right there in real life so they don't approach us.

(in reply to Griswold)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 5:26:39 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think a lot of these people that ask the submissive instead of the dominant maybe testing the waters to see if the sub will play behind the dominant's back, they did not read your profile to see that you are taken, they do not understand that some people would find emailing the sub first rude, or they are intimidated to email the dominant.

I have had many emails asking me if Sinergy shares me, and I always tell them to ask him, and since his name is on my profile I wonder why they never email him, but email me instead.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 8:09:18 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I hate that shit, I have always been with submissives who other people find desirable and I love it when someone comes up, barely acknowledges me or even at least plays lip service to asking if they can speak to my girl and then stand between us and talk to her. I don't tend to get too pissy but it does get written down in the "book".

When I approach someone, I do my best to pretend their submissive doesn't even exist until they introduce me or the submissive interjects into the conversation at which point I assume there is permission. If I do need to speak to the submissive, I will ask permission and make it clear I am including both in the conversation.

I figure as a role model I have to then model good behavior. Funny how often it totally confuses people who just aren't used to being treated like that.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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RE: People wanting to meet us as a couple always approa... - 5/6/2007 8:21:46 PM

MasterGremlin

Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

Anyone have any idea what causes this phenomenon?

When people online (almost always men) want to meet my master and I as a couple, for coffee or at a munch or event, they 99% of the time approach me about it. I'm his slave and have -no- decision making power to meet anyone, so I invariably tell them to start by getting to know him and asking him for the invitation. They act all surprised/offended and say they'll write to him and never do.

On the other hand, whenever we appear at munches/events they always approach my master and begin by speaking to him if they want to see us as a couple. The only exception sometimes being if it's a shy female sub who'll end up being more my friend than his anyway.

So what causes this behavior difference online versus offline? What do you think would happen if I managed to convince my master to go ahead and meet the person, who contacted me but not him, at a munch; would such a person behave normally in real life?

I have had this phenomenon happen to me until I put Master's and my profile together. Once I did that, it completely stopped. Mainly because those people are not really interested in you as a couple, they are only interested in you.

Cordially,
minxy