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KaylinSilverfurr -> RE: assignments and commitment (1/17/2008 4:41:56 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tigrita
This describes an ideal situation to me, nicely said. Though the point about tasks assigned in initial meetings, demonstrating the sub's commitment, this brings up another point I've noticed before. Often it seems that dom(me)s want such a display of commitment, even before there is emotional trust established. That seems backwards to me. I think you are not referring to that, you seem to have a healthy perspective about the dom(me)'s commitment too, but that is just another point that comes to mind.
Tigrita,
Thank you for the compliment! I am definately glad that you were able to see the point I was trying to make with my post.
If a sub agrees to be my sub, of course time would be spent getting to know them as a person first. If some random sub came up to me without knowing me aside from name and based on a few rumors, and decided to trust me based on only that, I would have to turn them away. Just as I would expect that a Dom(me) would turn me away if I was wanting to sub for them without having done the research or gotten to know them as a person.
This is why I do not engage in physical play at munches or parties I've been to, because what I consider a limit might not be what others consider a limit. Physical limits for me basically involve physical contact. Now, there's nothing wrong mind you, with a sub/slave wishing to provide service to me.
For example:
I'm at a party, surveying the crowd and scene, noting where the bathroom is (because that's always the first thing I do) and debating on if I want a drink or not. A sub I don't know approaches me (male or female, doesn't really matter) with a flogger in hand and politely asks me if I would please take them into the dungeon and flog them. After thanking them for their consideration, I would tell them no and explain that I do not know them well enough. If after that they are still wanting to provide service, I would tell them to go and get me a glass of coke from the bar and bring it to my table. Easy enough action, the sub still gets the joy of providing service to a Dom(me), no physical contact or deep trust required, and I can learn more about the person, which allows them and me to gain trust.
My two cents more. :)
~Kaylin
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