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Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 7:59:39 AM

RCdc

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When is a munch not a munch?
Would a munch set in a private setting or house be a munch, or a party? Let's just say for now, there would be no expectation of play etc. Would you still think of it as a munch? Would you attend? Does the fact that you are new or partnered matter and affect your decision to attend?

I have been mulling over this, after recently coming across a munch offered to be held at a private home. For us, we probably wouldn't see it as a munch, because of the private setting. But what are others opinions?

the.dark.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 8:01:50 AM

LillyoftheVally

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Yeah I agree, a munch at home is a party I think I would only go if I knew people there. I know that being partnered has affected my ability to go, I ran a munch but havent done for the last 6 months because my ex didn't want me to see people.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 8:18:33 AM

ThatDamnedPanda

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Hi, Dark...

For me, the difference would depend upon whether the party was totally open to the public or by invitation only. In my view, what constitutes a munch is that anyone is welcome to come and meet other members of the community. In order to be a munch, it would have to be publically announced and open to anyone, and it's hard to imagine anyone posting public announcements inviting total strangers to come to their home. I mean, if they do, more power to 'em, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who would be willing to do that. So, it would almost by necessity be invitation-only or word of mouth. Which would make it a party, in my view.

That being said, though, anyone is free to call their event whatever they like. If they want to call it a munch, they can call it a munch. I won't report them. I just won't see it the same way they do.I'd probably still go, but I wouldn't be expecting the same sort of vibe I usually find at a munch. I'd be expecting a more low-key, intimate dynamic.

< Message edited by ThatDamnedPanda -- 7/29/2009 8:21:18 AM >

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 8:18:53 AM

Zeknpet

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a munch at home is a brunch or lunch

it is also possible (or so I hear) to have a party, call it a party and not have it be a play party.

What you name it has little to do with the party itself.

The difference to me, at least if I were a newcomer, public vs private space for reasons of security.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 9:38:13 AM

LadyPact

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I would still see it as a munch if there was no play involved. The only thing that's changed from your description is the location from a public setting to a private one.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 10:08:48 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I would still see it as a munch if there was no play involved. The only thing that's changed from your description is the location from a public setting to a private one.

Im with Lady Pact on this.
I have been to a few 'at home' munches and I much prefer that you can talk about tttwd without fear of being overheard.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 10:14:11 AM

RCdc

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Dear Lady Pact and Steve and Maria.

Can I ask, were these invite only events? Or openly advertised? Did new people come or was it more a social setting where everyone knew at least one other?

the.dark.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 10:43:46 AM

Apocalypso

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Another interesting example would be "a group of friends, all kinky, meeting up in the pub". Now, this may well be as many people as the smaller munches. So what makes it not a munch for me? Honestly, because we carefully don't call it to that so we don't have to have people there we don't want to socialise with.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 12:21:02 PM

softness

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Personally it would depend on the purpose of the event. If it a social event where people are there to meet new people, socialise with fellow perverts, "network" or catch up with friends then I would still call it a munch even if it happened to be in a private house. As I ponder it I also feel that if it were a gathering of people who already knew each other (a circle of friends for example) that would not be a munch IMHO. Perhaps therefore the "open" nature of the event is part of what makes a munch a munch. I have been to a variety of munches across the country but never in a private home. I would imgaine that very few people in the scene would be willing to open up their homes to people they had not met before.

Potentially then you could have a munch in a private house ... If single I would attend it only if I personally knew the organisers and felt safe in their home. I imagine Sir would, similarly, want to know the organisers personally before entering their home.

much love to you D&d ... missing you both xxxx

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 12:43:52 PM

Missokyst

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The first munch I set up was at a private home. There were snacks, conversation just like a regular public munch and no play allowed. In addition since it was in an area where other people lived next door or kids might be on the street, there was no fetish wear allowed.
It was relatively successful. I had as many as 35 people attend.
New people were given the address after meeting one of the organisers. Munches were announced but the address was withheld until a meeting was arranged
A munch should be relaxed and informal no matter where you have it.
A play party should be stated as being that, so that newcomers are not too nervous to attend.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 7/29/2009 12:45:49 PM >

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 1:23:02 PM

Sunnyfey

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I see a munch being a gathering of kinky people at a vanilla venue.

That's how we run the TNG munches here, granted are ours in the private dining area of the restaurant.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 3:24:38 PM

Aileen1968

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We watched a munch last night from across an empty restaurant, just out of curiosity.
It confirmed the fact that we will never attend one.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 3:49:49 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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I'd still consider it a munch, provided that there was no play involved, and that it was a purely social occasion (maybe with a potluck or munchies) meant for conversation/discussion.

Partnered or unpartnered wouldn't make a difference to me, except that, with the knowledge that it was going to be in a private house, I'd want to be considerate of the neighbors and find out from the hosts if there were any parking restrictions or other boundaries that needed to be observed.

In one of our local groups, we have these things called SIGS -- they're basically discussion groups/munches for specific interests. They're held in private homes, usually with some refreshments brought by participants. There is no play, but there may be demos. Sometimes, after the SIG, there is a semi-private, invitation-based event for play, but these are considered separate events, even if they're held later at the same location. To me, these are still munches -- though specialized ones, because the point is both informational and social.

I know that some folks might be uncomfortable about having their first meeting be at a private home, but we sort of get past this on -both- ends by holding what we call a "Newcomer's Meeting". All of the SIG coordinators and the Board attend, and have a chance to meet newcomers to the local group and interact with them before they're invited to group events. Before you can attend a munch at -any- location, public or private home, with the group, you have to have attended the Newcomer's Meeting.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/29/2009 3:52:26 PM >

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 3:52:36 PM

windchymes

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I wouldn't worry about what it was called, but rather, would contact the hosts and ask them what it will entail.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 3:58:49 PM

DomImus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda
For me, the difference would depend upon whether the party was totally open to the public or by invitation only. In my view, what constitutes a munch is that anyone is welcome to come and meet other members of the community. In order to be a munch, it would have to be publically announced and open to anyone, and it's hard to imagine anyone posting public announcements inviting total strangers to come to their home. I mean, if they do, more power to 'em, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who would be willing to do that. So, it would almost by necessity be invitation-only or word of mouth. Which would make it a party, in my view.

This sums it up well. If it is not open to all comers then it is not a munch from my perspective. Doesn't matter where it is held or if actual play will be taking place. If you need an invitation to attend it is not a munch.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 4:01:58 PM

DomImus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
We watched a munch last night from across an empty restaurant, just out of curiosity.
It confirmed the fact that we will never attend one.

That's pretty much the same logic that says "I dated a guy/girl once when I was 18. It didn't go well - I'll never date again".

Makes sense to me.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/29/2009 4:38:32 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
We watched a munch last night from across an empty restaurant, just out of curiosity.
It confirmed the fact that we will never attend one.

That's pretty much the same logic that says "I dated a guy/girl once when I was 18. It didn't go well - I'll never date again".

Makes sense to me.

Oh please. Spare me.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/30/2009 11:29:51 AM

DesFIP

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No way would I attend a group the first time in someone's home. At a restaurant, I know I will be safe. In a private home all I have is the word of someone I don't know, and therefore don't know if their word is to be trusted, that I will walk out unscathed.

From the same viewpoint I wouldn't agree to open my home to people I don't know, and can't trust that they won't sneak back after everyone's gone and attack me.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/30/2009 11:47:25 AM

sweetsub1957

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I've never been to a munch yet but, from what I've been told, it's not a munch if there's play.....then it's a party. I guess if the get-together is open to the public, then would it still be a munch? I do know that, since I'm partnered & collared, I would not go without Sir. I feel it would be inappropriate & that someone might get the wrong idea.

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RE: Munch or something else? - 7/30/2009 5:54:56 PM

Andalusite

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I'd probably consider it a party or get-together, rather than a munch, but I wouldn't have any objection to them calling it one.

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