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How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 2:49:33 PM

Tatsuchan18

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

That’s what I'm trying to help male Doms figure out. I know a lot of female subs are sick and tired of receiving pages and pages of messages that gross them out or just don’t appeal to them. I know that there are real Doms out there searching for real female subs, there just seems to be a great communication error on how to correctly approach these particular girls and have them actually respond to your messages.

I know there are many other pairings besides a M/f D/s couple, but that’s the type that is predominantly on CM so I'm starting with it as my main focus. No offence to female Doms or male subs or any others in-between.

As of right now, I'm compiling information. Half of which is the messages I'm receiving from a multitude of guys (most of which are those bad types of emails that girls do not wish to receive) and the other half is me asking girls how they would like a guy to message them.

If you would like to discuss this or help me out by telling me how you would like to receive messages, it would be a great help to me. Thanks in advance for reading all of this!

-tatsuchan ^^

Post #: 1

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 2:56:52 PM

ShadowSide

Posts: 32
Joined: 8/21/2009
Status: offline

It varies. It would help of you're sincere, honest and polite. But even then that's not a guarantee of a response. It varies from woman to woman. Prepare yourself for a nice ride in the greeting department.

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 2

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 2:56:55 PM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

Keep it short (but longer than one sentence), show you've read the profile, do not make any assumptions, be polite. Same advice I'd give to anyone, really, not just male doms.

_____________________________

As we think, so we become.

Nichts ist unmöglich

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 3

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 3:10:17 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

As already mentioned, it varies.

Don't send a forum letter, show that you read the profile and maybe mentioned what about them specifically interested you. Don't giving orders right away and do be respectful.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ncbabe)

Post #: 4

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 3:45:48 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

A sense of humor is what works for me, with extra bonus points if said humor is about something in my profile.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 5

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 3:54:17 PM

mmsprecious

Posts: 84
Joined: 12/6/2006
Status: offline

Agreed on previous:
Sense of humor is good
One word greeting...hello just doesn't do it for me
No form letters
No orders
Show your personality! Make me want to respond (in a good way) and want to hear from you again.
No pics of the...ahem...big guy down there, no matter how nice it is. Its an automatic no response.

Engage my mind first, the rest will fall into place.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 6

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 4:02:02 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

Anyone who needs a instruction manual to do this should probably be avoided.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 7

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 4:13:15 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I like men who show they have a sense of humor as well and it's very important to show that you've read the persons profile that you are responding to. I detest the one word emails....oh boy. Be personable and genuine - show us that you're a likeable, interesting guy. Show off what you have to offer someone.

No rudeness, talking about sex, or asking if we're interested in your fetish. Treat an introductory email here as you would on a vanilla site and leave the sex out of it. That comes later after we're interested in you.

Be honest.....I'm going to repeat that....be honest.

Please use good spelling and grammar!

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 8

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 4:22:00 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Stephann wrote a great "How to..." Here's the link.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 9

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 5:14:17 PM

TemptingEve

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/13/2009
Status: offline

I'd also like to add that when you send an email to someone and don't hear back from them immediately, do not automatically assume that she (or he) is not interested or being rude. I can't tell you how many emails I've gotten and then within a few hours, sometimes less, received another email telling me how rude I was for not responding right away. This has annoyed me to no end - and really upset me at times. All of us (and that's including us subs) have other things going on in our lives - we have jobs, families, friends, responsibilities, and believe it or not, we are not sitting here by the computer 24-7 just waiting for an email. There are times I've had a few minutes and have opened my email but not been able to reply until later in the day when I had time for a longer and more thoughtful reply. There were a few Doms here who took serious offense to seeing their email opened but non replied to, and I received numerous emails about my time management skills (or lack thereof in the Dom's opinion) and how I should be putting my search for a Dom at the top of my priority list, above my business and child.. So just remember, we all have other things in our lives and be respectful of that.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 10

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 5:23:35 PM

DCWoody

Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

To quote.....myself

"My advice for getting replies:
1:Don't cut and paste, each message should be written individually for that person.
2:Don't worry about trying to sound dominant enough, or not sounding dominant enough....just be normal.
3:Be nice, be friendly, be happy.
4:Remember that a sub or a slave is not yours at all in any way, and you shouldn't expect them to be even remotely yours before having talked a few times.
5:Don't make a message sound like a CV, introduce yourself briefly and then....whatever, ask them questions, mention things on their profile, give them advice if they're new...explain to the new slave girl what CBT stands for and that she probably doesn't want to be that curious about it afterall...just talk to them like a normal person and be nice, be yourself.....unless yourself is a bastard in which case....well, be yourself anyway; some girls want a bastard.
6:Treat it more as a conversation than a formal exchange of letters.
7:Try not to lie, if you have to pretend to be someone else in order to talk to someone, is that person really who you're looking for anyway?
8:Don't try to barter with them, or impress them or order them about, just talk to them, they're people just like you....except (hopefully) without the cock."

(in reply to TemptingEve)

Post #: 11

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 5:28:46 PM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

DomImus

Anyone who needs a instruction manual to do this should probably be avoided.

I don't know. I didn't join this site to meet an Owner but I think it could be pretty daunting. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for advice. I might not know exactly how to aproach guys here if my goal was meeting "the One."

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 11/11/2009 5:29:22 PM >

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 12

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 5:29:06 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatsuchan18

That’s what I'm trying to help male Doms figure out. I know a lot of female subs are sick and tired of receiving pages and pages of messages that gross them out or just don’t appeal to them. I know that there are real Doms out there searching for real female subs, there just seems to be a great communication error on how to correctly approach these particular girls and have them actually respond to your messages.

I know there are many other pairings besides a M/f D/s couple, but that’s the type that is predominantly on CM so I'm starting with it as my main focus. No offence to female Doms or male subs or any others in-between.

As of right now, I'm compiling information. Half of which is the messages I'm receiving from a multitude of guys (most of which are those bad types of emails that girls do not wish to receive) and the other half is me asking girls how they would like a guy to message them.

If you would like to discuss this or help me out by telling me how you would like to receive messages, it would be a great help to me. Thanks in advance for reading all of this!

-tatsuchan ^^

I don`t...I wait for them to...
darn...

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 13

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 5:47:49 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

I don't think there is any mysterious secret path to success- or if there is I have missed it.
I suppose the commonsense notions of just being polite, interesting, and friendly are correct.

But having said that, no matter how witty, clever, polite the first message is, no matter how long and fascinating it might be, all unsolicited first messages are only saying one thing:
I am interested in getting to know you; would you like to know more about me?

In this regard, it is more like sending a note to the girl in the third row in high school than anything. And since it is unsolicited, the sender has to accept that it is a high toned version of spam; and even the best spam has a pretty dismal success rate.

Then again, the sort of people who would read this thread and sincerely pay attention to it are probably not the sort who need its advice. Your profile which you wrote with such care, is being displayed next to a banner ad that states:

"Email a girl today!
Fuck her tonight!"

The man targeted by that ad is probably assuming the girl in question is you, and you just aren't playing along with your assigned role by refusing to fuck him tonight.

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 14

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 6:00:56 PM

AnnaOfAramis

Posts: 523
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

There are times I've had a few minutes and have opened my email but not been able to reply until later in the day when I had time for a longer and more thoughtful reply. There were a few Doms here who took serious offense to seeing their email opened but non replied to

Yes, and also for those of us who are owned and are being contacted just for conversation, it is quite common for owners to read their property's email. There are many times that my Master has read my emails before I've even seen it... so just because it says "read" doesn't necessarily mean that *I've* read it yet.

_____________________________

in obsequium hominis

(in reply to TemptingEve)

Post #: 15

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 6:33:06 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I am pretty happy if I see them sign off with their name. All too many of them will refer to themselves as Sir(name), or Master(so and so). I want to see a name. I want to know they are ok if I view them as regular people. Humor is nice. And it is also nice if they show they are interested in me.. and not just some random anyone will do, sub. Finally.. I hate.. hate.. hate.. it when the entire gist of the email is only referring to my submission. They offer nothing about themselves or any reason why I might want to check them out (the old standard, check out my profile if you are interested, does not cut it!)
~
Andrea

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)

Post #: 16

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 6:40:34 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

I can't wait for the "How to correctly dominate a female submissive from CM" thread.

That should be great fun.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Tatsuchan18)

Post #: 17

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 6:58:26 PM

Tatsuchan18

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

Thanks to everyone so far for your interesting and helpful replies. I'm happy to have created a thread topic in which people respond to. ^^

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 18

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 6:58:42 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

quote:

DomImus

Anyone who needs a instruction manual to do this should probably be avoided.

I don't know. I didn't join this site to meet an Owner but I think it could be pretty daunting. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for advice. I might not know exactly how to aproach guys here if my goal was meeting "the One."

Agreed - particularly because some people are VERY particular about how they are approached, both online and offline. For a newcomer especially, it can probably seem impossible.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hierodule)

Post #: 19

RE: How to correctly email a female sub on CM - 11/11/2009 6:59:05 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Just don't CMail me talking like you already own me!! Thats a big turn off.

Magik

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 20

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