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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:11:39 PM

MsIncognito

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What she said.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

For me it means the person gets direct physical pleasure from pain.

Doesn't need to be sexual, just needs to be direct and it needs to be physical (brain chemical happiness type).

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:12:57 PM

Blkmastersgirl

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When I met my Master, he made me a masochist. He shaved me, told me that I was his slave and introduced me to flogging. From then on, I have loved to be flogged and more. I love to combine sex with him whipping me too. I get my biggest rush sucking him while he flogs me. I also suck him when he flogs other girls and that turns me on just as much.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:18:37 PM

Tikkiee

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LOL. You should see some of the emails that I get. I list in my profile that I am a masochistic bottom, nothing more and nothing less. Yet, I get mail from, 'gentlemen' who want to know what 'gets me off ' and 'how much till I reach orgasm " I find them extremely amusing.
Like you stated, for me, it has absolutly nothing to do with sex. In fact, pain, in and of itself, does not arouse me sexually at all. However, it does give me a sense of power, to some degree. I like the rush I get; being swept upwards on each wave; wondering if the next will take me even higher. Then the freefall down; crashing so fast that you wonder how long till you hit the bottom.

Only to be swept back up again. It's a poweful feeling.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:21:08 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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I've struggled with the whole issue of whether I'm a masochist or not, and have finally come to the conclusion that no, I'm not.

At least not by my definition.

I consider a masochist to be someone who seeks out pain, and enjoys pain, both sexually and non-sexually, for its own sake.

I consider myself someone who accepts and enjoys pain as an interwoven part of the D/s dynamic. I do not enjoy pain, or seek out pain for its own sake, I take pain to please my dominant partner.

I don't necessarily think everyone will agree with my definition, nor do I think it's an either/or thing. This is just how I make sense of it for myself.

Cin

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:28:14 PM

juliaoceania

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I guess perhaps the pain does not have to be sexual because I get a rush from pushing myself physically in many ways, like hiking just past my endurance to go, wondering if I can make it back... Feeling the pain of my muscles.. knowing I am alive because of the soreness in my body. This is not sexual but how I view pushing my own limits of my physical endurance... I guess that part of my psyche is also masochistic.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:32:17 PM

catize

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A Discourse on Masochism

The kiss of the leather strap extends much deeper than my skin. It surpasses superficiality, the slap and sting settles and soothes my very core. I absorb each blow with joyous heart.

Pain relished rather than endured becomes an opiate, a time warp, an explosion that illuminates the darkness of space. It is like Christmas and the 4th of July all in one; shiny paper wrapped around bursting lights/colors/sounds.

My limbs stretched outward, I am buoyed upon the warm waves of sensorial bliss. I am surrounded by his cruel attentions, I absorb the pain he bestows. He allows me to feel it all within the safety of his presence. He is my lifeguard.

Every searing blow ignites and quenches the same fire. My body and mind pulse with his rhythms, the heat intensifies to a small hot coal within my center and flares outward. I am the volcano, splashing hot liquid throughout the universe. We burn together but are not destroyed.

I am his canvas; he paints vivid red and purple blooms, a violent still life. He rains chaos upon my body until we are both appeased. He conducts the opera; I hit the high notes with perfect pitch; an aria of tears.

I hear the pleasure and pride in his voice and I feel submissively feminine, completed, and valued.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 7:37:52 PM

MistWalker

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I've set back a bit since my origonal post on this topic, and looked at it from the other side. since i have a substantal sadistic streak to ballance out my maschocistic leanings.. i thought, what do look for in one.. in my case its prety easy, for my wishes anyway, a maschochist must Enjoy the pain, that i enjoy giving them.. for me theres no draw if they dont enjoy it, i enjoy pushing the bounderys at times, but i want the experence to be enjoyable.. otherwise i could go pick a fight and beat the hell out of some one.. but i get no enjoyment out of that.. to me simply submiting to a flogging because your Dom wishes it, dosent equate to being maschocistic.. now if you grow to, or simply do enjoy it thats a different story... but some how to me taking the pain simply because it pleases another .. not the same for me. my first Mistress was like that though so i think i picked it up from Her.. she made it a point that it was not just about her wailing on me, there wasnt any enjoyment in that for her, she wanted to hear me to know i was enjoying the play as well, not simply takeing it to please her.. enjoying the pain for the sake of the pain, the connection between giver and taker. is all part of it to me.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 8:08:12 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

There is a downside to being a masochist though. I once had a terrible ear ache and every time my ear throbbed, my pussy twitched from the pain. ::sighs:: That said, when I get an endo attack, I'd safeword outta that shit so fast it'd make your head spin. That's toooo much pain in all the wrong places.

Celeste

And there goes my soda, all over my screen......

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/23/2006 8:31:22 PM

Chiana

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i have never thought of myself as a masochist, but given what i've read in this thread so far i guess i do sort of fit that definition.
i have never derived sexual pleasure from pain, but i love to play. i am a flogging junkie and love other sensations as well.. just found out that i like the feel of being caned.
for me there is a distinct difference between playing and D/s.. one is about sensation while it is the submission which arouses me, that i need. the closest i have ever come to being aroused during a play session was when the Top bit me.

i have just come to accept that i can identify as a bottom as well as a slave.. never really thought it through before. but coming to accept that fact helps me to identify my needs more thoroughly

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 12:45:31 AM

Kedikat

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Sometimes, actually, too often. Masochism is practiced as masturbation. A person constantly seeking to make their life a mass of pain in every way. Unfortunately, this too often drags nonmasochists into the pain, because the masochist does not realise their own nature. Masturbation, because they do not know, or admit to themselves, what they are.

Know thyself, find your match, spare the innocent bystanders that see your pain as suffering and try to soothe it.
Inspect your reasons. Are you seeking eternal atonement for something? A sadist will not want you to find it. Do you believe you deserve pain? Who made you think that, and why?

Maybe, if all else fails, you really need the sensation. As a step beyond, or maybe, and it is a realality, some have very close wiring of pain and pleasure. It is already a very close thing. Mearly interpretation of nerve impulses, through our complex concepts of pleasure and pain.
If all else fails, was just a turn of phrase, not an indication that I think masochism is a failing.

< Message edited by Kedikat -- 4/24/2006 12:46:27 AM >

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 12:51:12 AM

BitaTruble

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Catize,

That was pure poetry.

Celeste

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 1:01:02 AM

Fawne

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KEDICAT: As a step beyond, or maybe, and it is a realality, some have very close wiring of pain and pleasure. It is already a very close thing. nerve impulses, through our complex concepts of pleasure and pain.

YES. I FOR ONE HAVE THE STRANGE ABILITY FOR THE PAIN PLEASURE SEXUAL WIRES TO CROSS. Sex AND SM DO MIX AND ENHANCE SEXUAL PLEASURE, for me at least.
NO THAT DOESN'T MEAN ALL OR ANY PAIN.

Best, fawne

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 1:51:34 AM

Kedikat

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Hmmm didn't get the quote thing quite right...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne
YES. I FOR ONE HAVE THE STRANGE ABILITY FOR THE PAIN PLEASURE SEXUAL WIRES TO CROSS. Sex AND SM DO MIX AND ENHANCE SEXUAL PLEASURE, for me at least.
NO THAT DOESN'T MEAN ALL OR ANY PAIN.

Best, fawne
I find SM, D/s and so many things come together with the right one. With the not so right one, less things seem to entwine into the passion of it. For certain reasons, I do not get much pleasure from most pain, as I spent many years subduing it in My body. But the reflection of it from My partner, as in nails digging in, her teeth in My flesh to a point, crosses the wires a bit :)

< Message edited by Kedikat -- 4/24/2006 1:52:44 AM >

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 2:17:08 AM

ExistentialSteel

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Catize, that was post number 100 for you, I noticed. It couldn't have been a more beautiful one.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 3:23:47 AM

bandit25

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cin...I more or less see myself the same way. I don't seek it out necessarily. I enjoy it insofar as he enjoys inflicting it and yes, I see it as an interwoven part of the D/s dynamic. There are times I do seek it out; however, and those times I enjoy it immensely, bit not on the whole.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 3:34:58 AM

twicehappy

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I am a masochist, i am also a slave. For me the pain sends me into subspace, but it is the submission of the act that makes me aroused. But then again sex in and of itself can also send me into subspace. I enjoy sex without the pain but after a scene i am begging for sex, so i guess for me it definitly leads to arousal.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 4:28:46 AM

ClassAct2006

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Ouch, definitely not; low pain threshold. I like it because I don't like it, because of someone's power/ control over me and hopefully because it pleases him too. I have never once called myself a masochist. I'm submissive. I've never been with a man ever who hasn't wanted some kind of sexual pain though and even when I was virgin I was asking my ex husband to pull my hair although having to ask defeats the purpose....

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 4:32:31 AM

CanadianGuy

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My girl had never been with anyone else when she met me last summer, and within hours she was being spanked for the first time. Truth be told, I hadn't had a lot of experience dishing it out. To me, it quickly became an extenstion of my control. Giving pain was showing I was in charge, and she responded. Each yelp when my hand hit her backside or thighs solidified my need to continue, and raise the stakes. I'm so glad that's something we discovered together (although we both already knew we wanted it). We played with pain a few more times during our few days together. Having her breasts squeezed (the whole breasts, not just her nipples) had her wincing and gasping. She described it as twice as intense as the harsh spanks I delivered to her ass, which left welts and had my palm and fingers stinging, so I know it hurt. For us, it leads to sex, definitely. I put my fingers in her after spanking her and she was very wet. She didn't think she was turned on by it, which is strange, because she clearly acted aroused (and was wet). For me, the intense control rush hurting her gives me makes me need sex and orgasm. Pain is definitely a part of our sexuality and something would be missing without it.

For the record, since it fits here, let me just say I've never really understood, not liked, the "painslut" slang that is used a lot. "Slut" is a great word, I have no issue with that. I just don't think masochists are necessarily slutty, even if the sluttiness is directed toward the pain. It's a bit of an ugly and misleading term IMO.

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 8:32:45 AM

Fawne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kedikat

I find SM, D/s and so many things come together with the right one. With the not so right one, less things seem to entwine into the passion of it. For certain reasons, I do not get much pleasure from most pain, as I spent many years subduing it in My body. But the reflection of it from My partner, as in nails digging in, her teeth in My flesh to a point, crosses the wires a bit :)

Exactly, Kedicat. I have been very lucky to have the skillful and "right one".

Good luck and more....

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RE: What does it mean to you? - 4/24/2006 9:39:45 AM

enthralled

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I've been reading through the posts ..... such a nice variety of experiences.
In reading the various opinions, feelings, preferences . . . it has helped me understand myself (and everyone else) a bit more- not to mention that I 'somewhat' understand some of the emails I've received.
I am a masochist. I'm not a masochist because I'm trying to 'seek some interenal atonement', not because I'm punishing myself, not because it's for someone else. . . it's who I am. I don't know why, I dont know that I care or that it matters if I ever find out.
I do seek out pain, but only at the hands of a trusted top. In my last, I recruited the help of my piercer because there was no one else experienced enough to do that type scene. I've went to others I trust for 'cathartic sessions'. There's just NO way to describe how I feel during or am left feeling afterwards. . . . very much a feeling of serenity.
Thanks so much for the posts!

Respectfully,
enthralled

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