|
ElanSubdued -> RE: Chastity - Dommes choice? (3/2/2011 11:32:39 AM)
|
noreleaseever and SpyUnderCover,
quote:
noreleaseever:
It's interesting to me that every answer either stating or concurring with the opinion that chastity should be a matter of obedience, comes from females.
If you look at my post above, you'll see I'm a submissive male who concurs with the "obedience" point of view. To me, this is an issue of keeping ones word. If you say to your domme you're going to do something or your domme asks you to do something and you agree to it, then you do your best to follow through. Call me a weirdo (I'm not saying you are... just using the figure of speech), but I think keeping hands off ones cock is a fairly small task in the bigger scope of things one must manage in life and in a relationship. Yes, I've broken a chastity request. The issue wasn't the chastity. Rather, the issue was the communication that took place before and during the chastity, and that was indicative of more significant problems in the relationship.
quote:
noreleaseever:
The only way to truly control erections is to keep the cock in bondage.
Perhaps my body reacts differently, but chastity devices, bondage, etc. have never stopped me from having erections. At best, a restrictive device will contain an erection, but it doesn't stop the thoughts and body reactions (with or without conscious thought) that cause erections.
quote:
noreleaseever:
...it is a good psychological tool to have the male penis physically restrained and ineffective 24/7, even when not in a sexual situation, e.g. at work or doing chores, etc.
For those who obtain benefit from keeping the penis physically restrained, dominant and charge(s), I agree with this statement. However, my agreement is no different than for any other fetish that seems safe and harmless (for yourself and for others): if it floats your boat, go ahead and do it.
quote:
SpyUnderCover to noreleaseever:
I think the issue is not about erections themselves but about orgasm. I think a lot of Dommes would rather have a sub's word that he won't climax, rather than to have to play cop all the time and "enforce" it.
This is the issue as I see it too. The larger issue is simply a matter of following through on ones word and of the trust between partners. In the case of chastity without the use of a device (or, for that matter, with a device), my understanding is the submissive is usually asked not to masturbate (touch the penis, etc), except for health reasons. Whether orgasm is achieved or not, masturbation would be considered an infraction. In some cases (I've have experience with this), a domme will give edging instructions. The submissive must masturbate at a certain point every day or at certain intervals, with the goal of bringing himself as near orgasm as possible without achieving orgasm. Once having obtained this state, the submissive must put his cock away. While I wouldn't say this is a fetish of mine, it certainly was for my domme and it did focus my attention on her and on the power dynamics in our relationship.
quote:
SpyUnderCover to noreleaseever:
However I also hear what you're saying about the thrill of the restraint. I wouldn't want to have to "enforce" chastity with a device on a continual basis, but I do like the idea of using it for some wicked fun occasionally.
Ding! This sounds like a win for all involved. :-) Kind of like micromanagement. For a short period and in certain situations, micromanagement *play* (note the emphasis on the word "play") can be fun, but as a long-term, everyday dynamic it becomes infeasible, undesirable, and a burden. This isn't to say wearing a chastity device for long periods is undesirable if that's what turns the participants on, but it's my belief the only effective chastity is the desire and abillity of the submissive to follow through as asked/agreed to. (Clearly, we're not talking about medieval chastity here!)
Elan.
|
|
|
|
