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Proprietrix -> RE: under the influence (5/31/2006 8:48:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: composer83
why not support other organizations where they choose to have alcohol...(again, operating under the asumption that we are *responsible* adults in our decision making, lol)
I'm going to touch on several different aspects of my beliefs here.
I think to understand my stance on not supporting a public dungeon that allows drinking, it’s best to dismiss the whole word "dungeon" and "BDSM". What we're talking about is a group of friends, acquaintances, and strangers, who are getting together in a shared environment, to participate in activities that already carry an inherent level of danger and bodily harm.
I won’t support any venue that permits the consumption of alcohol, when that venue specializes in hosting activities that already carry inherent danger. I would not take parachuting lessons from a base jump school that allows drinking. I would not go to a public kick-boxing ring that allowed drinking. I wouldn’t do target practice at a shooting range that allowed drinking. Etc...
I’m not saying others shouldn’t be allowed to drink and play. I’m not even saying they shouldn’t be permitted to do so in a public dungeon. I’m saying that I personally wouldn’t support a venue that permitted it.
I can’t go under the assumption that other people are indeed responsible adults. One simply has to read crime statistics for numerous examples of how people aren’t responsible decision-makers while under the influence. At my private play parties, I can invite only people who I know are mature adults who are responsible with their alcohol. I can’t do that in a public place. Why should I have any reason whatsoever to trust the total stranger in the playspace next to me, who has just knocked down 4 drinks in a row, to be anywhere near me or my submissives, with a barbed whip, a set of needles, or a knife? I want me and my subs to feel safe in our leisure environments. I simply can't feel safe in an environment that allows drunks with weapons.
Most of the harm that occurs due to lack of judgment isn’t readily noticeable to a DM while it’s happening. Most recollections of harm come in the form of the submissive waking up the next morning with more injury than s/he agreed to sustain. Sometimes minor, maybe bruising when s/he hadn’t agreed to marks. Maybe major, in the form of internal damage or a broken bone. And it probably is never brought to the attention of the DMs or the dungeons. Most are too embarrassed to call up the dungeon owner and say "Hey, I (or the person I played with) had a bit too much to drink and now I have XYZ problem." They just casually mention it months later to a friend or on a message board or chat room. When we take this into consideration, we understand that injury from impaired judgment is under-reported to the people in charge of allowing or disallowing alcohol at the events.
DMs have enough responsibility over enough people without adding to their duties that they need to keep an extra eye on so-and-so because he’s had one too many drinks.
There really can’t be an accurate "screening" of who is and who isn’t responsible enough with their alcohol consumption. How do we decide when someone has had too much to drink to the point they might be dangerous? Let’s say a public dungeon decides "no more than 3 drinks". 3 shots of everclear might have itty bitty betty dancing on the table whereas 3 cans of beer might not phase big burly ben in the least. Do we measure by blood alcohol level? Do breathalizer checks at the door? What about people whose judgement is seriously impaired but they don’t act overtly obnoxious. A Dominant may be very quiet and laid back, but drunk enough that his aim is off enough to cause kidney damage. How about a couple who negotiated at dinner about their play, but are so plastered by play time that the negotiations are forgotten? Even out of the realm of personal injury… how about some wanker who isn’t technically interrupting scenes, but is making quiet slobbering drunk come-ons to the newbies, and the people sitting aglow in subspace.
We can wait until someone gets hurt. We can wait until someone gets disgusted or offended. But why increase the chances of that happening in the first place by allowing in people who have impaired judgment in the first place. I understand that by disallowing alcohol it’s not going to eliminate all harm and insult. But it does decrease the chances.
For people who don’t drink, it’s really very uncomfortable to be around a group that does. It sucks to not be able to carry on conversations because people have lost their intellect, and to know that these people don’t consider themselves any less intellectual than they were yesterday. It sucks to have opportunity for play limited, in the one place casual players have a chance of finding other casual players. It’s not pleasurable for non-drinkers to have to hear the heightened volume of slurred speech and have to smell "alcohol breath".
Now I know someone is going to want to respond "If you don't like it, you have the right to leave." Before you say that, please note, that's exactly what I do. I'm not insinuating that all public dungeons should or should not take a yay or nay stance on the consumption of alcohol. I'm stating why I, as a consumer to their place of business, would not spend my money/time at an establishment that allows drinking and BDSM play. What I do, is choose venues that are in alignment with my personal beliefs.
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