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cloudboy -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/9/2007 3:50:59 PM)
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The prescription you list is an enlightened way to pursue a complimentary, non working role in a marriage. The problem with the prescription, however, is its tendancy towards selflessness, reliance on the working spouse, and absense of one's own individual pursuits.
In general, I do believe the non working or lesser working spouse should cater to the one with the more demanding job who keeps the household financially stable. (In modern day the roles in the home are no longer gender specific.)
But the selflessness of the 1950s led many women to unhappiness, my mother being one of them. Truthfully, she would have done my father and us children a favor by looking out for herself more and finding her own individual ways to happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction. If that meant us fending for dinner, contributing more to the home, or making some kind of sacrifice so she could pursue her own friendships, hobbies, interests, or career --- something good for her that was hers --- our household would have benefited.
Put another way, it is incumbent on a spouse to make herself or himself happy first, and from that base I think she's more immune from the depression and mood swings of feeling trapped, dependent, and other oriented ---- and when one is happy -- they are much better to be around in every sense of the word.
In the end, the marriage, the spouse, etc. won't make the woman happy --- they can only enhance, add to, or be an outlet for her own individual happiness, which to a large degree, she must self create.
The dilemma of today's modern American woman is balancing her career and marriage / children. The bitterness of some women is the ill fated desire to have both (be a super mom and have a power career.) Striking a balance in this area, IMO, is the key for women to be happy in their marriages and happy with themselves.
I shall now step down off the soapbox.
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