RE: 1955 a good wife (Full Version)

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SusanofO -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 8:47:58 AM)

cloudboy, you are so enlightened - someone should bottle and sell you (or at least make a good videotape and sell that). I really think so. HUGs to you.

My mother was also a woman of the 1950's marriage. She had a mother who kept her constantly insecure, by hinting she wasn't being a "good enough" wife because she didn't do X or Y particularly well...and it really got to her, sometimes.

For instance, she didn't really like to cook, and we more or less lived on Hamburger Helper (when it came out - before then it was spaghetti or Macaroni & Cheese). My father didn't care, but my grandmother acted like it was the end of the world. She didn't particularly like house-cleaning, but thanks to her mother's nagging, she became fanatical about having a clean house - when the rest of us really could not have cared less how clean it was (my dad said so over and over, I remember). She even gave away our family dog one year, because she said  it shed too much on the dark-colored carpeting and it drove her nuts (my dad got mad at her for that, though - and he got the dog back for us. My dad loved that dog like a brother, I think, and he really thought she'd "lost it" when she gave away the dog). 

My mother got us to appreciate things like good books, and she was always dragging us off the the museums in town to see exhibits - even when we were five or six years old. She was really an unusual mom, now that I think about it. For one thing, she had a job when most women her age didn't. She taught school. I am really the only one in my family that didn't become a "career woman" - my one sister is a lawyer, and the other one is a nurse, and both have careers, and make pretty good incomes, too. 

I had a career for maybe ten years, tops. But I worked for a huge corporation in a large city for most of it.Then I quit (mostly because I was pissed off at my husband, but that's another story...) I might get a different career now, but not sure what that will be. But - I know my mother always made us believe it was a probability we'd have one - not just some remote possibility.

- Susan     




LotusSong -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 9:35:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Wash
Iron
Fuck
Etc ...



geeee... how very flattering




LotusSong -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 9:40:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

How did Leonidas and LotusSong become one and the same?



I musta missed a post or something.  urooOOOoo?? <-- confused Scooby-Do sound)





caitlyn -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 9:50:59 AM)

Yeah ... can't you see girls lining up? [;)][;)]




LotusSong -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 3:43:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

That is a fairly famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) article that was published in a magazine called "Housekeeping Monthly" in may of '55. It makes the rounds every once in a while.


Thank you Leonidas, i didn't know its origin.


I recall being taught this in Junior high..in Health class in the midwest.  It's legit.

Could be some of it stuck.. and why I've been married going on 34 years.


I don't know...I just had my 18th anniversary on the 5th, and have a poly household where I am the dominant.  The article is not for everyone.


Quick question:  Is this 18 years with the same people?




touchthesky -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 3:46:42 PM)

women didnt really live that way it was just held up as an ideal. the tranqs etc didnt come about till the late 60's along with womens lib when housewives felt they were missing out on what was happening. people in the 50's were probably happier than now with less choices less crime more family life and more security. its not something most people want to go back to because it was rather narrow but its what people knew at the time.people more did what was expected of them then, all the self questioning and finding ones identity came in the 70s




kc692 -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 3:57:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

That is a fairly famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) article that was published in a magazine called "Housekeeping Monthly" in may of '55. It makes the rounds every once in a while.


Thank you Leonidas, i didn't know its origin.


I recall being taught this in Junior high..in Health class in the midwest.  It's legit.

Could be some of it stuck.. and why I've been married going on 34 years.


I don't know...I just had my 18th anniversary on the 5th, and have a poly household where I am the dominant.  The article is not for everyone.


Quick question:  Is this 18 years with the same people?


This is 18 years with my husband.  I have only recently taken a slave into our household that I/we feel is a good fit. She is the first one to be part of our family. 

Edited to add:  Although I firmly believe in poly, I do not need to have multiple members in the household to believe in it, anymore than others believe in monogamy.  One has to wait for the right one(s) to come along to add them.

Edited again to add:  And I met her on Collarme by the way. I firmly believe that there are many good people on this site, and was not seeking when she contacted Me.




touchthesky -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 3:58:16 PM)

to  continue. i wouldnt mind that at all.take away the cornball language.if someone supported me and out kids i would have NO problem stayin home and making sure all was nice when he came back. Trouble is now we all think we so liberated but now we expected to do all that PLUS work a 9-5, and be sexy forever. thats whats screwed up




LotusSong -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 4:07:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: touchthesky

women didnt really live that way it was just held up as an ideal.
 
And woe be those that didn't. A woman that went to work outside the home brought shame to her husband.  He would be seen as not being a good provider.
 
"Shacking up" (living together) and having children out of wedlock was definitly taboo.  If your teen got pregnant.. she would "go visit a relative" (do time in an unwedmother's home and give the child up for adoption)
 
 
the tranqs etc didnt come about till the late 60's along
 

Can't dispute that..that's when my mother got them.. but then I don't know how long they had been around before then swo I'll give you that one :)

with womens lib when housewives felt they were missing out on what was happening. people in the 50's were probably happier than now with less choices less crime more family life and more security. its not something most people want to go back to because it was rather narrow but its what people knew at the time.people more did what was expected of them then, all the self questioning and finding ones identity came in the 70s  (more like the mid 60's)
 
On what do you base your information?   I base mine on actually living the time frame.
 
My mother lived this way.. your grandmother would have lived this way.  Just curious :)
 
We actually have "living" history on the boards.




touchthesky -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 4:13:54 PM)

i come from a large family with alot of women who talk alot.I am around them all the time and we interact all the time. they have vividly recreated the past. but once again in the present, alot of this is expected but with the woman working a 9-5 and expected to look as good at 40 as she did at 20, its not better for everyone. As far as a child out of wedlock hells yeah that was a problem. but people knew it. Alot less single mothers. Let me never be a single mom i do not know how so many people so it




Missokyst -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 4:38:44 PM)

I know that in the 60's drs started prescribing them more.  But when we moved from our southern california house, we found things that had fallen under the sink.  I don't recall what it was, but one of my moms prescriptions was dated 1958.  And it wasn't an antibiotic.  Not sure what it was though.  I wish I had saved the bottle.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: touchthesky
 the tranqs etc didnt come about till the late 60's




touchthesky -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 5:10:31 PM)

tranqs may have existed but i have seen posters from @197o prescribing librium for neurotic housewives, so i assume it was more common then. also i imagine conditions were different in different parts of the country. my family has been in california since the turn of the century so i imagine things may have been laxer here. But my older lady relatives are all pretty feisty. taking care of the house and hubby was their job so in varying degrees they did their job.the 50's weren't that bad a period for women. There were labor saving devices, medical care in childbirth, cars, radio, alot of convenience foods. When u didn't want to be woman was alot of the former times with all the washing by hand for your whole family.every childbirth wondering if you would survive. i have relatives in villages in northern mexico that live like that pretty much, no refrigerators nothing. pretty much like life 100 years ago. 




cjenny -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 5:16:43 PM)

Ohboy. I am living history??
I really do not think I like that. Hmph. Thanks LotusSong. Hmph, again [8D].
Tranquilizers were around in the 50's btw for the youngins.. so were flush toilets.




CandleInTheWind -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 9:07:12 PM)

my philosophy of what feminism has "given" us is more things that as women we are xpected to take care of.  I honestly would turn back the hand of time and return to themarriage of the 1950's  where a woman was respected for the contribution she made toward a family...after being steem rolled in divorce court i saw first hand how little the justice system and men in general respect the traditional role of women in the family.

awoman who is a stay how wife and mother is inferred to be lazy...even when one has 6 unmentionables...she is expected to hold down a full time job as well as maintaint he home...the hubby in these cases are expected to come home from work and be catered to....a woman works a full teim job and then comes home to the most important job in society...(IE raising the future of merica) averaging more than 60 hours a week in the second pertinant position...so she makes sure that the family has clean clothes, food on the table, all extraneous errands, and most of the fiscal management of the family.  and the hubby....he comes home and hands over a paycheck and he is concidered by todays standards a great hubby.

the only thin the feminists ever did for me was to give me more work....now on top of the raising of childrena nd maintaining a home environment for the unmentionabls....I am also expected to earn as much as or more than the hubby does and keep at least a 40 hour week at work!

where do i sign up for the time travel??




farglebargle -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 9:29:37 PM)

http://www.decodog.com/inven/MD/md29006.jpg

No, wait... I meant this one.

http://www.decodog.com/inven/MD/md29009.jpg




touchthesky -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/10/2007 10:42:24 PM)

yes candle in the wind, ur on point...feminism is great and its time had come but really didnt go far enuff. If women have to contribute to the income men need to do alot more about housework and childraising. If i become a live in sub catering to my masters every need that would be heaven. But i m sure as hell not doing that if its after my 8 hours( plus commuting) job. VERY few men really do their share of housework and cooking in a 2 income household. They should




catize -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/11/2007 5:09:24 AM)

Points out that many women in the fifties worked as waitresses, teachers, nurses and secretaries; those were the limited choices for women.
The goal of the feminist movement was choice; not only whether to work or stay home, but choice in career, opening doors to jobs that were ‘men only’ and equal pay for equal work.
Currently, many families are dual income because of economics, not because those big, bad feminists said women must work outside the home.




losttreasure -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/11/2007 7:21:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Points out that many women in the fifties worked as waitresses, teachers, nurses and secretaries; those were the limited choices for women.
The goal of the feminist movement was choice; not only whether to work or stay home, but choice in career, opening doors to jobs that were ‘men only’ and equal pay for equal work.
Currently, many families are dual income because of economics, not because those big, bad feminists said women must work outside the home.



Not to disagree completely or imply that feminists were wrong... their cause was ultimately just and the second wave of the Womens' Movement brought some much needed changes... but a large part of the reason that dual incomes are needed these days is because of those hard won rights for women.

I am by no means an historian or economist, and this is greatly simplified, but my understanding and theory is as follows:

On the heels of the Great Depression, during World War II, a great many women found fulfillment in the work they performed.  Prior to that time, most of the women who worked were single and, as you point out, they were limited to being primarily teachers, secretaries, nurses and waitresses. 

With so many men off to war, the positions vacated in addition to the demand created by the war effort caused those women who were able to enter into the workforce doing things that they had never been allowed before.  When the war was over and the men returned, those positions were taken away from women and they were sent back to the home.

While many worried that the end of the war and the drop in military spending would cause the economy to falter, just the opposite happened.  The lean years of the Great Depression followed by the rationing during the war, and coupled with the euphoria of victory, fueled consumer demand.  The housing market exploded with single family dwellings to house the returned soldiers and their new wives.  The technological advances of the time and a change in economic policy provided Americans with goods never before available and easily affordable.

It was a time of complacency.  People were enjoying life as they'd never enjoyed it before.  The birthrate soared... our "Baby Boom".  Advertising from that time was geared toward living the good life... the suburban American dream.

With the 60s came a restlessness.  Whether it was out of boredom because those babies born post-war were now in school, pushback because of the difficulties of living up to icons such as Donna Reed, or prompted by literature such as "The Feminine Mystique", who knows... but married women began to want more from their lives. 

As married women entered into the workforce, families' disposable income increased.  That extra capital allowed families to purchase even more, but the cost for consumer goods began to creep up.  Prices are set based on what the market will bear... with increased income, more and more families could "bear" more. 

Unfortunately, not all families had two earners and those that didn't soon found themselves limited.  What had been a "luxury"... a wife working outside the home if she wanted to... gradually became a necessity.




mixielicous -> RE: 1955 a good wife (2/12/2007 9:32:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

my philosophy of what feminism has "given" us is more things that as women we are xpected to take care of. I honestly would turn back the hand of time and return to themarriage of the 1950's where a woman was respected for the contribution she made toward a family...after being steem rolled in divorce court i saw first hand how little the justice system and men in general respect the traditional role of women in the family.

awoman who is a stay how wife and mother is inferred to be lazy...even when one has 6 unmentionables...she is expected to hold down a full time job as well as maintaint he home...the hubby in these cases are expected to come home from work and be catered to....a woman works a full teim job and then comes home to the most important job in society...(IE raising the future of merica) averaging more than 60 hours a week in the second pertinant position...so she makes sure that the family has clean clothes, food on the table, all extraneous errands, and most of the fiscal management of the family. and the hubby....he comes home and hands over a paycheck and he is concidered by todays standards a great hubby.

the only thin the feminists ever did for me was to give me more work....now on top of the raising of childrena nd maintaining a home environment for the unmentionabls....I am also expected to earn as much as or more than the hubby does and keep at least a 40 hour week at work!

where do i sign up for the time travel??

amen to that.




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