Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Jealousy and Envy


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Jealousy and Envy Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:22:08 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Some of the more negative emotions are Jealousy and Envy.  I see them as two seperate and distinct emotions.  But, I am wondering how others see them?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:23:09 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Some of the more negative emotions are Jealousy and Envy.  I see them as two seperate and distinct emotions.  But, I am wondering how others see them?


Envy- I love that dress on her and wish I looked that good!  That's cool.

Jealousy- I love that dress on her and I suck for not looking that good.  She sucks too.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:25:47 AM   
cheshireboy


Posts: 217
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		envy to me is the beginning stages of jealousy that if it isn't curbed or a mental check isn't done it could become jealousy....envy is about wanting something....jealousy is fear manifested to the point where you begin thinking "i will never be good enough to get that."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:27:13 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Some of the more negative emotions are Jealousy and Envy.  I see them as two seperate and distinct emotions.  But, I am wondering how others see them?

I have always viewed jealousy as a destructive emotion, one that tears down not only your own self-esteem, but also that of another.
Envy, on the other hand, I see as a positive emotion. Being envious of others can often cause a person to do something to improve themselves.
 
Just how I see them though.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:31:27 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Envy is when we want a material thing or quality someone else possesses. I have envied many people, not seriously so to the point of hurting my heart condition or making me unhappy, but still I have felt the wish that I could have something someone else did.

Jealousy to me is when you are afraid a relationship is in danger from some outside force. I could be jealous of my kid's friends, my mate's job, or my mother's relationship with my brother for example...

I so rarely experience jealousy that is never ceases to surprise me when I do.. but if I do I admit it so I can move on.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:32:59 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		You could blur the distinctions with semantics until there is little difference. However, to me, envy is wanting something that is not mine. Jealousy is the fear that I am losing something that is mine to another.  

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:33:14 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Some of the more negative emotions are Jealousy and Envy.  I see them as two seperate and distinct emotions.  But, I am wondering how others see them?

I have always viewed jealousy as a destructive emotion, one that tears down not only your own self-esteem, but also that of another.
Envy, on the other hand, I see as a positive emotion. Being envious of others can often cause a person to do something to improve themselves.
 
Just how I see them though.


My thoughts exactly.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 8:33:37 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Some of the more negative emotions are Jealousy and Envy.  I see them as two seperate and distinct emotions.  But, I am wondering how others see them?

I have always viewed jealousy as a destructive emotion, one that tears down not only your own self-esteem, but also that of another.
Envy, on the other hand, I see as a positive emotion. Being envious of others can often cause a person to do something to improve themselves.
 
Just how I see them though.


I have heard this time and again from people... quantifying emotions as "destructive" or "bad" ... emotions are just emotions... its trying to mask them, repress them and denying them that is the thing that is destructive in my mind. Emotions come and go, its what we do with them and about them that is a measure of who we are...just my opinion

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Tikkiee)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 10:40:02 AM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		I think both emotions can either  inspire or cripple a person depending on how deep each is felt.

I have envied others in my life from time to time, not to the point that I wanted to BE them but wanted to BE LIKE them, the positive aspect is, I have been inspired to try harder,  I envied where they are in life and looked deeper to see what they did to get there.  Envy  can also be mistaken at times for meaning 'I want what you have and I'm going to try and take it' that is the negative and unhealthy envy the one that can split apart friends and lovers.

Jeolousy on the other hand really is a wicked little green beasty that if not kept on a leash can  bring out the worst in us and rarely the best.  By nature I'm not a jealous person, those who know me understand that *w* I love to share *s*  competativness and jealousy can also be confused.  I'm human tho and I have had visits fromt he green monster just like everyone but it is how the emotion is dealt with that, in my opinon makes the situation where jealouys is present  either a learning experience or a painful, self-destructive one. 


denika

ps.
LA... I loved you analogy *s*

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 12:07:25 PM   
APerfectParadox


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		T
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

You could blur the distinctions with semantics until there is little difference. However, to me, envy is wanting something that is not mine. Jealousy is the fear that I am losing something that is mine to another.  

This definition fits for me as well.. I don't believe emotions should be viewed as negative or positive however , they just are, and everyone expeiences them.. Its healthy to acknowledge them when we do.


_____________________________

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 12:56:00 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		KnightofMists,

I had always thought that they were synonyms until I was having lunch with a friend of mine one day. she makes a very clear distinction:  "envy is wanting what someone else has or feeling like someone else is getting what you think should be yours...and jealousy is fear of losing what you have." Made sense to me and made me think. Wise things come from slaves.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 1:22:07 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Some of the more negative emotions are Jealousy and Envy.  I see them as two seperate and distinct emotions.  But, I am wondering how others see them?



I see them as two separate emotions.
Envy being along the lines of wishing you had something that someone else has material or non and jealousy more along the lines of fear of losing something you have, of someone taking something or someone from you, and I think low self esteem plays into jealousy as well making it worse.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 1:26:11 PM   
reticence


Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline 		I guess i see jealous as having difficulty when someone wants what i perceive as mine

envy as wanting what i perceive as someone else's

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 2:47:44 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline 		I have to agree that envy can motivate and inspire one to better oneself or the situation they are in.  Jealousy can be detrimental, tearing down one's self-esteem and affecting how they view the issue at hand. 

I will also add that both of these words are defined as emotions and are parts, good or bad, of the experience of living.  These are the elements that create who we are and what personality we take on as we grow and learn.

LOKI


_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to reticence)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 3:45:44 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I see jealousy and envy as pretty much the same thing, they are both words to me where you perceive a rival, whether thats directed towards a person or situation.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to LokisBrat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 6:58:45 PM   
alandraofMists


Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

I see them as two separate emotions.
Envy being along the lines of wishing you had something that someone else has material or non and jealousy more along the lines of fear of losing something you have, of someone taking something or someone from you, and I think low self esteem plays into jealousy as well making it worse.



i have seen this thought expressed by a couple of people in this thread..... i see jealousy not as a fear of losing someone or some thing but more as * i deserve that  more then they do, why do they have it,  i shouldhave it  or deserve it more then them* feeling.  a person does not have to have the item or be in a relationship with someone to feel jealousy.

where as, in my opinion envy is * i really like that, wish i could be that or have that or look as good in that* feeling.  To me they are two very different feelings, with out envy can help a person to grow and expand what they wish to learn.

Knight's alandra

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 7:05:54 PM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		I see envy as wanting something another may have or possess. Jealousy, however, I believe can be more destructive in that it is one that stirs up fear within oneself.

Websters just says that envy is another word for jealousy.


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to alandraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 7:15:28 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Scenario One:

You perceive someone that has something you want. You reaction with a strong feeling inside you. Is it jealousy or envy?

Its both.

Scenario two:

You percieve your partner to be showing more affection toward another person than your comfortable with (whether the scenario is real or imagined). You react with a strong feeling inside you. Is it jealousy or envy?

It's both

I can't think of a situation where I could separate the words.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to irishbynature)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 7:49:11 PM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		How about this?  Envy is when you think someone has something you would like to have, or be, and jealousy is when you discover you were right.

_____________________________

Author of "Nytewhispers"

Power whispers, it has no reason to yell

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Jealousy and Envy - 6/15/2006 7:55:57 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		I can see both sides of this discussion. In the literal sense they are synonymous words. Both denote a negative * emotion *
On the other hand, often times when we say we are envious of such and such or so and so, we do not mean it literally. We mean that we admire, wish we had, would like to have, would like to be. like.... etc.

                       mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Jealousy and Envy Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.139