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mp072004 -> RE: maso means submissive? (7/2/2006 12:00:35 PM)
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HELL YES, it's possible.
Think of it this way. There are two sets of identifiers, power and sensation: dominant/submissive, sadistic/masochistic (or top/bottom, if you want to talk about non-pain sensation--either word works to distinguish power from sensation). One can have a "neutral" position on either, too, which is like an abstention--if you're neutral on the power axis, you neither want a dominant role nor a submissive role, for example. You might like to inflict pain without involving power at all, which would make you a neutral sadist. You could also be neutral on the pain axis, and enjoy controlling someone without inflicting or receiving pain. If you're a neutral on both, you probably should rethink whether you like BDSM.
Still unclear? Let's do an item by item.
Dominant sadist: "normal". Agent of power, giver of sensation.
Dominant neutral: Agent of power, doesn't want to deal with pain or sensation. These types tend to have an emphasis on service. They may not call what they do BDSM.
Dominant masochist: Agent of power, receiver of sensation. Dominant masochists get hit and they direct how they get hit. Topping a dominant masochist looks something like giving a massage. "Harder. No, use the paddle now. A little to the left."
Submissive sadist: Wants to obey and give sensation. Often a good match for a dominant masochist. Submissive sadists sometimes identify as service tops.
Submissive neutral: Wants to obey, no sensation or pain. Like dominant neutrals, submissive neutrals may not call what they do BDSM. In the case of a female submissive neutral with a male dominant neutral, the couple may describe their relationship as "traditional" or "surrendered wife".
Submissive masochist: "normal". Agent of power, receiver of sensation.
Neutral sadist: Likes giving sensation to an equal. Pain, no power.
Neutral masochist: Likes receiving sensation from an equal.
Neutral neutral: vanilla.
Switches can switch on either or both axes. A switch might not switch power, but might switch pain--so, a person could steadily take the submissive role, but sometimes bottom and sometimes top. It seems less common to me for a person to switch in power but not sensation, though it would certainly be possible.
There are further nuances, of course--the above ventures to offer a more precise classification system that doesn't conflate inequal power and sadomasochism.
MasoTVgirl, I don't know whether you're a dominant masochist or a neutral masochist. Given your later post, you might identify as a submissive in scenes but not outside, which is a wholly separate, and much bigger, category than dominant or neutral masochists. That's for you to determine. I would suggest you figure out what exactly you want, then when you talk to prospective partners, outline it concisely and clearly. Epithets like do-me-bottom could be appropriate if you were to profess your undying desire to submit to your partner when it actually means that you want to bottom in the way you want. If you say clearly that you want to bottom in the way you want, and a prospective partner objects, you're just not compatible, but I can't see that your prospective partner should be upset or feel misled. If you're active in a BDSM community, especially, figure out a short, single-sentence description of how you work to introduce yourself when asked about your preferred role. The fewer jargon words, the better. Example. "I'm looking to receive pain without engaging in obedience or subjection to my partner."
Monica
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