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RE: What has happened? - 8/18/2006 12:44:17 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeting to all
 
i think it is now a fast fix not wanting to share you life and time to know a person all iof us may be dominant but we are still human with feelings. each of us wants someone to bond with i myself do not want someone who is writng me about how they wanted to me tbeat them i say get to know the me inside not what you read on my profile and th after we know on another ys i will beat you lol.
 
respect is a give and take , i just wrote my first angry reply i was shock at how mad i was to ask things that are just crazy is so bad. this is what has happen no respect for others at all and one post spoke of asking things we are not to ask
 
 
i think i have meant many wonderful people here who are respectful but some other do not think
 
mons

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: What has happened? - 8/18/2006 6:55:38 AM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Sigh...us darn kids...

Every generation looks back with the past as if it were the peak of civilization and looks to the future with disdain.

And when you wonder why the next generation "lacks respect"- it's because so many of you look at us and just tell us that we're driving the world into the ground.  Would you respect someone who did that? 

Instead of repeating what your forefathers have done for thousands of years...why not take the higher perspective and realize that the past wasn't that great, the present is what it is, and that each generation forms its own values and rituals.  People used to think that unwed women were blights upon society and that allowing women to walk around without being married properly was a sign that the values of the world were going downhill.


If you read the acient Greek poets they complain about the youth of the day and how they would destroy society. Could it be that this conversation is just a repeat of a 2000 year old conversation? Every generation claims the one after it will distroy the world. Maybe it's a familarity to the rules that we grew up on that we miss. Anyways, live life as it pleases you. There is nothing stopping you from seeking out others that share and embrace your concepts of manners and etiquitte and creating a world of your own liking. Is that not why some create houses and other social groups to share their common values and interests? But, then again Rome did fall and maybe the poets where right after all.

It's a nice day, at least here, so enjoy the day. 

_____________________________

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: What has happened? - 8/18/2006 2:57:44 PM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

To the elegance, refinement, class and rituals that SM once was 50 or so years ago? How did it get to the point of, blatant crudeness, vulgarity and disrespect for others?
 
Ummmm.....and this is different from life....how???

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: What has happened? - 8/18/2006 5:24:12 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		As society, media, entertainment, and laws change, so does everything else around us, including morals.

Chivalry is not necessarily dead, but it is lacking from what it used to be.

(Some say crimes seem more graphic and increased, but if you study history (like the HeadMistress of AcademyForSlaves does) you'll find crimes haven't really gotten worse, nor improved.)

Keep your own morals, attitude, and positivity in line (and your slaves in line too!) and keep only like-minded people around you. For those who need improving (especially your slaves!) try to inspire them to be more kind, selfless, mannerly, and respectful. Hopefully you will leave a good impression and inspire them to change for the better.

As for training improving, that's what we like to do. We offer only the best training for slaves. Heaven knows they need it!!

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 10:22:19 AM   
PetTeacher


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DedicatedDom40   Now, was it not greedy nonsense like this, running around unchecked, which precipitated the dumping of tea into the harbor in the first place?   


There is a slight difference. We can go to another bank. The stamp tax on the tea was imposed and could not be avoided. (sorta like beer/cigarettes are now).  Anyway, our bank did that, we went to a different one.

Oh and of course the fundamentals of the lifestyle are economic to most people that I have encountered. I bitch about it off and on all the time.  When someone tells me they want to turn all their decisions over to me and give me their bank account, I can generally assume two things and be right: they are very poor decision makers and seek a mother figure to get them out of their jam be it economical or series of other failures.  Now that is an attractive guy I want to hang around... let me tell ya.

_____________________________

"The heart of another is a dark forest, always,.... no matter how close it has been to one's own.",

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 10:46:40 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		It also used to be much more in the closet, taboo.

With increasing acceptance/popularity come the frauds who see yet another opportunity to get laid.

With the increase in single-parent families and the use of daycare has come a degeneration of social skills taught to children.

We've come a very long way from the Agrarian model, which is what still applied for much of the past century and a half since the Industrial Revolution took root.

But with increasing levels of neglect and alienation in urban centres, a lot of people are being taught its a dog-eat-dog world where only the strongest survive.

Compassion, good manners, etiquette do not recommend themselves to a street gang.

This attitude has permeated society through mass media and the sheer bulk of individuals experiencing this kind of life because the vast majority live in urban areas.

The Urban model is replacing the Agrarian model.

I don't believe it is reversible. I do believe it will have a tragic conclusion. And whomever is left over will be the ones to set the tone for the next civilization.

I rather hope it will be the exponents of the Agrarian model.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 1:24:28 PM   
welshwmn3


Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

I have to agree with both of the young whippersnappers (and snappies) above.  The crudeness, lewdness and just disrespectfulness that many complain about, I see almost entirely in the so-called "Online BDSM Community."  Among the R/T BDSM Community, I see very little of it. 


I wish I could say the same thing.  Unfortunately, the disrespect shown in some R/T BDSM groups is amazing.  One list I'm on (that is a list for a R/T group) has recently degenerated into name calling and 'he said/she said' problems.  This from people who know each other and scene with each other at least once a month.

When I lived halfway across the country, the lack of respect was shown by a so-called community leader Dominant (and no, I'm not naming names here, it doesn't matter who it was) who came to a party with specific rules, and did not follow those rules.  The rules weren't hard to follow, it was just to bring something better than a bag of chips (something like nice bakery bread or a cake or some other snack like that) to the party, as the host never had a cover charge.  The community leader came with two bags of chips, and didn't understand when the host of the party didn't let him get away with it.  He left in a huff, never to be seen at that recurring party again.

When our own "leaders" are pulling stuff like that, what example are they showing?  What example do the new people have to follow?

Unfortunately, the lack of respect isn't just an internet thing.

But then, every generation has it's version of "kids these days, why when I was their age, I would call all Dominants Sir (yes, even the women!) and fall to my knees for every Dom who looked at me in a Domly way!  You should have seen the bruises I'd have on my knees from falling so often!  But I did it with pride and joy that I could serve them in that manner!"  Or the ever popular "I had to walk five miles to school, uphill both ways, in a roaring blizzard, with cardboard soles in my shoes!"

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 1:31:21 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
Once there were rituals, long term training, etiquette----where did all that go? and how do we as a community begin to bring that dignity and elegance back?



There was?!  mmmmmmmmm  Well.. I don't think it's any different now than it was then.


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 1:36:05 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Nevermind... silly me didn't notice the dates (2006) associated with earlier posts in this thread.  Nothing to to see here.... move along.
 
John

< Message edited by Rover -- 9/16/2007 1:37:49 PM >

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to mistresssavanna)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 1:39:06 PM   
welshwmn3


Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess714

One word:

THE INTERNET

When I became involved with BDSM 32 years ago, there was no information out there.  I searched thru European newspapers just so I could read what people were into who were like me.  We bought our toys at the hardware store and the pet store.  Now, people see BDSM scenes, get horny, decide they are into BDSM, give themselves a label (or many to cover as much ground as possible in their fake profiles) and INSTANT GRATIFICATION MAGIC just like their Ipod, Microwave, SpaceShuttle, PlayStation and jerking off instead of finding a relationship they are into BDSM.

No, that is NOT how it used to be.



And before the internet was in wide use, it was the 'swingers' papers and bulliten boards at the adult stores.  The ones that read, "SWM Dom looking for SWF Sub for housecleaning, enemas and beatings.  Must be skinny and pretty.  No sex involved."  If you were lucky, you'd find an ad that had a picture that was *really* what the person looked like accompaning the ad.  Usually, there was a pic (gotten out of a magazine ad or something) of some hunk, who, when you hooked up, looked nothing like the SWM Dom at all.

Or, you'd think you found a person you could be compatible with, after numerous conversations on the phone, went to meet at a restaurant to find s/he'd no-showed on you.

I've not been in this for 32 years, only 20, but that was my experience.  Surprisingly like the internet.  Only, you do sort of have one thing right with the internet (instant gratification):  With the invention of IM's, you can tell who's the jerk faster than you could when you had to telephone people and go to those restaurants to be stood up.  Now you can tell when they start an IM with "ON YOUR KNEES, BITCH!" 

(in reply to BuxomGoddess714)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 1:39:58 PM   
patrice3737


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline 		It does seem that these things reflect the general state of society. From the way the young celebrities are celebrated in spite of the way they conduct themselves, to today's top of the chart music and its often vulgar song lyrics. Learning tradition and etiquette takes effort and time, something which today's society simply does not wish to invest in.

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 1:47:02 PM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

To the elegance, refinement, class and rituals that SM once was 50 or so years ago? How did it get to the point of, blatant crudeness, vulgarity and disrespect for others?
 
Once there were rituals, long term training, etiquette----where did all that go? and how do we as a community begin to bring that dignity and elegance back?


I blame the "Oh it's all good. Now, don't make anyone wrong. and  Just do your own thing".  God forbid we hurt anyone's widdle feelings by enlightening them.

It's such a hodge-podge now.. that D/sBDSM is little more than a laughable freak show.


I totally agree.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 2:32:54 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Ah, the good ole days.

Where have they gone? I don't know, that was twenty seven years before I was born. People change, societies evolve, subcultures and trends do too.

I can understand the desire to romanticise the past, but it doesn't change the fact that it is what it is - the past..  I think it's fairly important to appreciate and learn from history, and honor it for what it is. What may seem so lovely about "then" may or may not be entirely relevant "now", however. Nostalgia doesn't get you anywhere, your choices about how you live today, do.

That's what I like and has drawn me to this community. Having the freedom and resources to be able to make individual decisions to lead my life in a way that is right for me. There is no one right way, and I like having the opportunity to learn from a diverse array of people while I tailor my own flavor.

My only ideas for bringing back the essence of what you enjoyed so much so many years ago, is by practicing it, enjoying it, and "leading" by example. Be available to educate those that the example resonates with . For those that it doesn't resonate with, they'll find their own paths. There's no way to bring back the past, but that's the best I can figure to carry some of it's essence into the future. :)


< Message edited by iammachine -- 9/16/2007 2:33:31 PM >

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 2:48:49 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

quote:

 CrappyDom said:  I think it is time once again....

For those who do not know of me


It is an honor to share the same cyberspace with a Dominant of such inestimable honor from a House of such superiority.  Thank you sir (and also, Kennel De Sade) for the reminder of your heritages.

I too come from a long line of highly trained and very selective Dominants who derive their DIRECT lineage from the time of Abraham.  We descend from the third son of Abraham  -- Clyde!  The Sons of Clyde are the oldest continuing House of Dominance.  (You mere proles know of Isaac and Ishmael, but our origins are DEEPLY secret and shrouded)  Indeed if I say more about My House, I will have to silence each of you who read these words.

I do hope, Kennel D. and CrappyDom, that we meet in real time some day so I may teach you the sacred secret "Handshake of Lesser Dominants" that you may greet Me with.  It involves high fives, and pinky swears.  More I cannot say.

In Humble Honor and Highest Held Humbug,

E


shoudnt all you domly doms of the 12th order be out begettin (or begatten)some chilluns to carry on the cause?

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 3:55:48 PM   
SirCache


Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline 		In my study, I have learned that there comes a point where one generation fears or looks down on the other, and almost always bemoans the state of how things have changed.  This is cyclical, every generation will find fault with a younger one.

To date, the species has not gone extinct, we have not become mindless animals (despite what some naysayers would have you believe).  I think that evolution of what we know, how we act is inevitable.  While BDSM is certainly enjoying a wider growth now that the internet can connect people all over the world, it stands to reason there will be a steep learning curve for some people.  Growing pains are hard.  So are evolutionary ones.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 4:23:53 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

To the elegance, refinement, class and rituals that SM once was 50 or so years ago? How did it get to the point of, blatant crudeness, vulgarity and disrespect for others?
 
Once there were rituals, long term training, etiquette----where did all that go? and how do we as a community begin to bring that dignity and elegance back?


I hate I missed that time.  I hadn't read all of the posts, so hope I'm not repeating

It was just too time comsuming, and expensive to do the things back then that are done today.  Everything is instant, which in cases like this are a shame.  

Back then you had to find a profile in a paper, magazine, whatever, read it, and send an actual letter to respond to it.  You didn't see mass mailings of some form letter (no kinkos, had to actually write them...lol), or someone spending time and money to send a letter with only the word "hello" in it.  You had to write a proper letter of  introduction if you expected your letter to be responded to.

A lot expect this to be instant as well, being "in love" on the first email, sending said "hello" email, and the next one is wanting to meet you for coffee....right then...at 1 am....LOL...something which could be dangerous too, i.e. meeting a nut job, or someone who told just a big a fib as you and has no experience, and could injure you

Hard to get used to, but guess we just all have to roll with it

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: What has happened? - 9/16/2007 6:40:43 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		You mean the Golden Age of piss and anal fisting?



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: What has happened? - 9/17/2007 3:19:57 AM   
MasterLDesade


Posts: 67
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting , maybe you should book in and learn , Traditional Values might help your impeded by i live in the U.S.A attitude and all begins and ends in the U.S.A . Fortunately it is in the states for you .
Mistress Savana will I'm sure turn you from a Boi to a Man if you accept her and her colleges training methodology and listen , learn which by your One Thousand , Two Hundred and Eighty Four Posts in here which the vast majority are purely Ego Driven by a posting junkie who has never had any time on a " Working Dungeon Floor " and at the tender age of 23 would  not have had the experience to pull the top of a custard let alone himself .
You have not been chosen  nor deemed by a Mistress nor Master to worthy of such " Training " , in Traditional Values .
The " Real World " my young Boi is very different to this  "Cyber One " step outside in the fresh air and go to this conference and just maybe even if you buy it get a clue .
                                      Regards
                                                    MasterLDeSade

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: What has happened? - 9/17/2007 4:17:54 AM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The French aristocrats who had private parties 50 years ago have not taken to playing in the public clubs; they still have their private parties.

The buggery of the English public schools still continues in the English public schools but not the public clubs.

The leather-gay "Old Guard" was ravished with AIDS.

The charming players of 50 years ago, formed in a fundamental different sub-culture, are almost all dead now. Those who aren't don't play as well or often at 75 as they did at 25.

I'm sure that there still are secretive upperclass subcultures today just as there were 50 years ago. But we have the more democratic public clubs and institutions they have broadened "upper-class" decadence without producing upper-class incomes.

Asking why the millionaire doesn't play like a pauper is to answer the question.

Asking why sub-cultures formed out of the ravages of the second World War aren't around today is also to answer the question.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: What has happened? - 9/17/2007 5:03:25 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		LDesade.... Dude.... where does a cyber creation like yourself get off lecturing anyone about how things are in the "real world"?  I can understand your infatuation with Savanna (if you respect her, she may appreciate that you learn to spell her name correctly), after all you're two peas in a pod.  But then, she has slunk away with her tail between her (insert your favorite anatomy here) over a year ago.  Sadly so, as she provided ample entertainment during her brief stay.  Perhaps you are gallantly choosing to stand in her stead?
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to MasterLDesade)
Profile   Post #: 120
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