No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

BlkTallFullfig -> No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 12:32:46 PM)

Having read a few threads on lifestyler's feelings on alcohol, and finding the consensus is generally no alcohol.  People either don't drink at all or are absolutely against drinking at dungeons/playspaces and at playtime.

I'm curious to know what your experiences have been like in terms of folks on other mind altering drugs (pot, coke, heroin, meth, etc)...  Have you ever discovered that the person you're considering/dating/married to is using some illegal substance?  How have you dealt with it?     M



Emperor1956 -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 12:49:48 PM)

quote:

m:  Having read a few threads on lifestyler's feelings on alcohol, and finding the consensus is generally no alcohol.  People either don't drink at all or are absolutely against drinking at dungeons/playspaces and at playtime.

I'm curious to know what your experiences have been like in terms of folks on other mind altering drugs (pot, coke, heroin, meth, etc)...  Have you ever discovered that the person you're considering/dating/married to is using some illegal substance?  How have you dealt with it?     M


First, I think you are perhaps oversimplifying when you ascribe the above views on alcohol to "lifestyler's".  I think there is a much broader range of views on use of alcohol both in and out of "scene".

I can only speak for Myself:  I have no issues with alcohol use generally, unless it is abused.  However I don't scene with anyone when I've had a drink, and generally I don't like my bottom/submissive to have been drinking either.  In public play, when I'm a DM or assisting a DM, I absolutely forbid alcohol consumption on premises and don't allow inebriated people to play.  I don't know a public dungeon that does not follow this rule.

When I say I don't generally like my bottom to drink, I will say that there have been times with a very few submissives I've known where a glass of wine or two an hour before a session has helped her loosen up considerably.  In this regard I admit to "bending" my rule.

As to drugs, I'm not able to answer re: dating/married/etc.  I can say that My rule on drugs is the same as My rule on alcohol prior/during scene play, i.e. not allowed. 

E.



Lashra -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 12:50:15 PM)

Mine used to before I met him, he quit back in '99. He was heavily into coke, pot and alcohol. I've never used illegal drugs, I just never saw the point in them. He quit right before he took on a slave (He was a Master then). We talk about it from time to time as I worry about him getting back into it as he says he has cravings for coke sometimes. But I've let him know right up front you go back to drugs you loose me totally. I will not be with someone who is into drugs or alcohol its just not a part of my world.

He swears he will never go back to that as drugs really ruined his life, he had to drop out of college and was left with a bunch of debt with nothing to show for it. I am helping him to learn to handle finances and as for the cravings, he has learnt to redirect that into something positive like a piece of cake [:)] who can say no to chocolate cake? hehe. I think he is going to be ok as he learned the hard way you can loose your life to drugs in more then one way.

~Lashra



Aine -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 12:51:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Having read a few threads on lifestyler's feelings on alcohol, and finding the consensus is generally no alcohol.  People either don't drink at all or are absolutely against drinking at dungeons/playspaces and at playtime.

I'm curious to know what your experiences have been like in terms of folks on other mind altering drugs (pot, coke, heroin, meth, etc)...  Have you ever discovered that the person you're considering/dating/married to is using some illegal substance?  How have you dealt with it?     M


Having seen what people act like and do on such said substances like coke, heroin, meth and other such mood/mind/reality altering drugs.  I can honestly say a nice hearty FUCK NO to any kind of play with ANYONE on such said drugs.  People are some to most times even more unpredictable on any kind of altering substance, why would you even want to set yourself into a situation where you are placing yourself in someone else's hands or even over someone else that trusts you.  Things have a much higher chance of getting completely out of hand when hard substances like that are introduced.  (My personal opinions on alcohol and pot (and quite possibly a couple others) are a whole other can'o worms so don't assume I'm lumping those in) The spectrum is extremely broad considering the kinds of drugs out there and just how many there are, so this kind of a subject could go in many, many directions.

But my statement holds for the really hard, really dangerous and highly altering drugs that are out there.  You can't fully trust yourself or anyone else.



Sinergy -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 12:54:05 PM)

 
Hello A/all,

I wont use alcohol and scene because of the loss of motor control associated with alcohol and the danger inherent in WIITWD.

I dont do drugs so that is a non-issue.

Having my partner under the influence of these gives me pause.  Generally I would say no, because I am doing what I do to cause changes in her brain chemistry to bring about subspace, etc.  I dont know of any drugs which would enhance subspace, and narcotics would seem to me to make it more difficult to get her there.

But it is a subject I have not researched extensively, and until I have done that I am not a zealot.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy



Phoenixandnika -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:04:55 PM)

As a recovering addict there is no way I would become involved or stay involved with someone who used. I have enough struggles to stay clean without having the one I care for or love use right in front of me. So if they would not seek help and get clean I would have no choice but end the relationship for my sake.





GoddessDustyGold -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:09:29 PM)

The answer is yes, yes, and yes.  So I am probably extra sensitive on this particular issue.
I rarely drink...a glass of wine with dinner once in a while, a nice scotch on the rocks if I am out for the evening.  I mean one glass of wine and one scotch.  And never in the same evening. 
No, I am not a prude *Smile*. But alcohol does little for Me but except Me feel like I am not in full control of My faculties, and it is not important enough to me to cause Me to make it a habit.
I answered yes three times, because I have been in this situation three times.  The first was supposed to be a recovering alcoholic (I found out later he was also doing the drugs), but he fell off the wagon repeatedly.  It wasn't pretty and I had to leave the relationship (mostly vanilla).  The second was another mostly vanilla, but I should describe it as more of a  constant power struggle.  Another who seemed to just enjoy the occasional drink, and then it was habitual drinking, along with the bags of pot.  Another one bites the dust.
The final one was a boy I had in a M/s relationship. I knew he drank, more than he should, but he wanted to stop, and said he could and did not have a problem.  You would think I would have been smart enough by then...LOL...but I wasn't.  He was Mine, local but not living in for 2 1/2 years.  When we came together under the same roof, he lasted for 25 days.  I found out that he had totally lied to Me, had continued to drink to excess daily, had been doing coke and pot, and he had a hard time because he was trying to withdraw while hiding his withdrawal from Me.  We are still in touch occasionally, but I can't and won't deal with it.  Had he been sincere about wanting to stop, I would have helped him, but he lied about it. 
I do have a tendency to control alcohol consumption, and I do not allow drugs at all.  I consider it a self discipline, and I don't want to be around it. For scening, I am probably in tune with Emepror1956.  In private, a glass of wine some reasonable amoutn of time before a scene is not going to concern Me.  Never in public, and never the idea that "it is okay to get bombed because then s/he will be more relaxed and it will all feel so much the better!" 
The occasional glass of wine with dinner, or while out, or one cocktail is no problem for Me.  It is when the one glass turns into three, or the one beer turns into a six-pack ( or a 12-pack) that I say "No more". 
I realize that many have no problem with regular alochol consumption...the cocktail hour after work, or the daily drinks with dinner.  Like I said, I am just more sensitive about this issue, so it is an area where I do exercise extra control. 
 



juliaoceania -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:18:21 PM)

I am a thrill seeker, it is my nature. I have tried many illicit drugs in my younger days, and it is generally not something I would recommend. I had to "experience" these different states of consciousness. I have found that altered states of consciousness do have their place, but these can be brought on by natural methods such as exercise, sensory deprivation, sleep deprivation, meditation. I do not need substances to get to different alternate realities.

I do not use drugs anymore, and my alcohol use is marginal at best. I find I can experience things more deeply if I accept my reality as it exists without these aids. I would not want to detract from the beauty that is the state of subspace by masking it with drugs or enhancing it with drugs. My awareness is altered, once almost completely by subspace, and yes there can be a hangover from this experience.. but it is also a natural state in many ways, and a peak experience too.


I tend not to like being around people who get excessively drunk or high. I would prefer to go to parties that this was not a part of the scene for no other reason than the legality of it all. To each their own though

One last thing, alcohol can thin the blood, and so can asprin and other medications... people should keep that in mind when they are beating each other...



OhReallyNow -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:18:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Having read a few threads on lifestyler's feelings on alcohol, and finding the consensus is generally no alcohol.  People either don't drink at all or are absolutely against drinking at dungeons/playspaces and at playtime.

I'm curious to know what your experiences have been like in terms of folks on other mind altering drugs (pot, coke, heroin, meth, etc)...  Have you ever discovered that the person you're considering/dating/married to is using some illegal substance?  How have you dealt with it?     M

not for this slave. And just to keep the record straight, when she first started corresponding with Master, he requested a drug test, and provided this slave with one also. To this day, we have a blood test done once a month, at his request [:)]



RiotGirl -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:22:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Having read a few threads on lifestyler's feelings on alcohol, and finding the consensus is generally no alcohol.  People either don't drink at all or are absolutely against drinking at dungeons/playspaces and at playtime.

I'm curious to know what your experiences have been like in terms of folks on other mind altering drugs (pot, coke, heroin, meth, etc)...  Have you ever discovered that the person you're considering/dating/married to is using some illegal substance?  How have you dealt with it?     M


Em..i dun play with drugs and i think if some one tried to scene with me while they were on drugs, i think something highly insulting would pop out of my mouth, letting them feel like the retard they are.  Not that i've anything against ppl that use.  To each their own, aye? 

Um, if i was in a relationship and i found out some one WAS using some sort of substance - i'd find out what type it is, how much they use, and if it was an addiction.   What role it played in their life. 

But, back in the day i played pretty heavily in that area so i'm pretty open minded and knowledgable of all the cons and null factors associated with it.  I also know that every thing affects others differently.  Some ppl it'll destroy their life and others function very well.  It all really depends on the person and how it affects them. 

No matter what a person is into - addicts are not user friendly.  So i try and steer clear of them. 



Caitriona -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:28:13 PM)

We indulge in the occasional alcoholic beverage, but it's usually no more often than a few times a year.  Never used any illegal drugs and have no desire to try.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 1:37:10 PM)

quote:

First, I think you are perhaps oversimplifying when you ascribe the above views on alcohol to "lifestyler's".  I think there is a much broader range of views on use of alcohol both in and out of "scene"
Yes I did deliberately keep it simple because we've had the alcohol discussion before, so didn't want that to be the focus here.

Thanks everyone for your candid answers.   I have chat/dated people who were unstable at times, and I don't hang around if I see big change in personality without a clear reason for said change...  I do tend to suspect drugs in those instances.   I have dated (a few times, never turned serious) a couple of men who have done/were doing coke, needless to say I didn't stay, but am not strict about alcohol as long as the drinker controls his intake/behavior, and not the other way around. 

quote:

juliaoceania
I am a thrill seeker, it is my nature. I have tried many illicit drugs in my younger days, and it is generally not something I would recommend.
I'm not scared of many things, but the control freak in me never allowed for experimentation beyond alcohol.   I've always known different drugs affect people differently, and I've never wanted to know the feeling of "what did I do yesterday."

Has anyone suspected/discovered the person courting you (or that you were courting) was using under the radar?   It's just something I thought of today as I read recommendations for people to background check, as that is something that wouldn't show up as most users have not been arrested.   M



NastyDaddy -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 2:07:22 PM)

Make sure you don't scene or play with Willie on the bus after a show:  Willie Nelson cited for pot, mushrooms



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 2:21:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy
Make sure you don't scene or play with Willie on the bus after a show:  Willie Nelson cited for pot, mushrooms
  [sm=biggrin.gif]  [sm=biggrin.gif]  LMAO.
Thanks for the warning, but I cannot say I have ever felt any lust/desire to play with Willie...  And in his defense, I'm fairly forgiving of people doing whatever they want to do (as long as they aren't hurting anyone else in the process) after a certain age (say 75, no longer driving, lol).    I joke with my coworkers that if I live to 80, am going to try coke thereafter.  [8D] M



juliaoceania -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 2:30:46 PM)

I think that if people are on drugs their behavior is tends to be indicative of it. It means you should get to know someone and who they are before giving your heart to them.

Personally I would rather be with a dopehead than an alcoholic.. but I have had people close to me that killed themselves slowly with that drug and I have control issues today with my own reality states due to that experience. Many people have tried things in their younger days without becoming addicted (like me). My experiences were often not of a recreational nature, but of a spiritual one.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 2:43:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Personally I would rather be with a dopehead than an alcoholic.
I agree the dopeheads are less threatening than alcoholics (meaning someone who uses it out of control), and having always had the choice, I would not be with either for any length of time.
I'm glad for the strength or gene that allows some people to try things and not become dependent.
Thanks Julia, and everyone who replied.    M   



stockingluvr54 -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 3:01:35 PM)

another one here that's against drinking/drugging....at least in a relationship. I need someone on the same page as myself? Don't have a problem with friends that d/d as that's their thing and I always have the option to take off if they get too crazy. I understand d/d well as it was one of my "demons" for years. Gave it up 18yrs ago after a couple of years in the slammer. Anyways....it's not an option for me and I'd be foolish to accept a partner who drinks or drugs.....but that's just me. More power to those who have a little fun with either.....just hope that it never causes you and yours any problems down the road.........



mixielicous -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 3:23:43 PM)

i just wanted to reply b/c it seems everyone is sXe when it comes to play.

Master and i dont play when we are [heavily] intoxicated because we both recognize the fact that He may hit me too hard, i may be extra sensitive or emotional, or He may not be able to read me correctly.

On the rec drug note. . . i am an avid pot smoker [you may call it an age thing, stage, whatever you like] and He smokes as well [although not as much as i] and being stoned is literally, nothing to us.

We also enjoy play with a little LSD [omg, did she just say that?!] it makes for hours of amazing sex, and we are both experienced enough not to freak out or misinterperit [or see] something that didnt happen/isnt there. We use it as a physical enhancement and pleasure elongator.

thats all.

i felt compelled to speak for the other side. [&:]



GeekyGirl -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 3:36:59 PM)

As a member of the law enforcement community, I have zero interest in being around people who utilize illegal substances. I also don't like being around people who drink heavily. A beer is ok....getting tipsy once a year on your birthday is ok...anything beyond that does not sit well with me.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: No Alcohol, but What about drugs? (9/18/2006 4:00:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54
another one here that's against drinking/drugging....at least in a relationship.
Yours is not an uncommon position among lifestyles as I've noticed.   Guess it's another question to add to the get to know you thing in dating kinksters, because there's definitely more anti-alcohol sentiment than in vanilla setting.  
quote:

mixielicous
On the rec drug note. . . i am an avid pot smoker [you may call it an age thing, stage, whatever you like] and He smokes as well [although not as much as i] and being stoned is literally, nothing to us.

We also enjoy play with a little LSD [omg, did she just say that?!] it makes for hours of amazing sex, and we are both experienced enough not to freak out or misinterperit [or see] something that didnt happen/isnt there. We use it as a physical enhancement and pleasure elongator.
Thanks for the honest sharing Mixie.   For me, the use of alcohol/drugs is like anyone's kink...  As long as it isn't hurting me/anyone not in the game, it's okay, and your business. [8D]
Thanks for your input GeekyGirl.    M





Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125