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Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 6:41:10 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I just have to rant a bit. I have seen more than once this week in forum comments that a slave is weak. Most of these comments have been from newbies that maybe don't understand. I am a slave and have many friends that are slaves. None of us are cowering, weak people that just shake in the corner. Everyone has a different definition of a slave , so I won't go there. A slave lives for her Masters pleasure and will.  She/he must anticipate all his/her needs. Simply this a slave has a different need a desire.

How many think slaves are weak willed individuals and why do you think that way?

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut
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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 6:57:08 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Sub/slave and anyway you understand yourself/label in this life or if vanilla a mentally healthy person is not weak period! It is not weak nor is it noble that your pleasure and what makes you the most happy is putting a person you care about ahead of your own imediate physical desires.

A person can only be weak if they let a person walk all over them and they do not enjoy it or let them do it because they have such low self esteem and think they cannot do better. It has nothing to do with being a sub or a slave. Almost all the dominants that I have had the pleasure of talking to that think a slave is a weak person are either cyber dreamers, newbies just starting out or experience dominants who have such low self esteem themselves that they equate a power exchange relationship as being about I am dominant which means strong and great and the submissive is weak and lessor of a being.

I do not think it is even possible to be in a healthy relationship and be weak let alone in a strong power exchange relationship.


< Message edited by toservez -- 9/19/2006 6:58:55 AM >

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 7:55:22 AM   
midnyt


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/27/2006
Status: offline 		Let me just say in my very strong oppinion...subs/slaves are VERY strong individuals. How can we not be? To submit oneself to another or have total power exchange, to give your own power up to another you have to be strong minded, healthy. To give that much of yourself to another, i dont understand how you can be weak and do that. you have to be strong emotional, mentaly and sometimes physicaly..depending on your dom, masters wishes. it all takes strength anyway you look at it.
i do understand that "some" are emotionaly and mentaly unstable and are not of strong mind and they let others walk all over them but that is not becouse they are a slave or a sub it is becouse they are unhealthy in their own mind. (im certianly not picking on anyone).   i can tell you this one is certialy not weak in any way shape or form. im very outspoken, no bullshit, up front, honest, head strong, strong willed, physicaly, emotionaly and mentaly strong. no one will push me around...unless they have my permission first and you have to earn that. respect is not just handed over by me you need to earn that!
*Hmmm...i wonder if i should put the flame suit on*
i just feel so strong about others thinking subs and slaves are weak and not of their own mind. it truely bothers me.
~midnyt~

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 8:05:35 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I just have to rant a bit. I have seen more than once this week in forum comments that a slave is weak. Most of these comments have been from newbies that maybe don't understand. I am a slave and have many friends that are slaves. None of us are cowering, weak people that just shake in the corner. Everyone has a different definition of a slave , so I won't go there. A slave lives for her Masters pleasure and will.  She/he must anticipate all his/her needs. Simply this a slave has a different need a desire.

How many think slaves are weak willed individuals and why do you think that way?


The problem, as I see it, is that the newbies are not getting the kind of early experience to give them an informed decision.  If their first experience is with a user, or an abuser, or someone who themselves haven't grasped the bigger picture, then they come out of that situation no better off than when they started, often worse.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 9:34:59 AM   
alwayshis1


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/1/2006
Status: offline 		slaves are not weak, it takes a strong person to serve unselflessly. most that say slaves are weak, just havent met a slave, all they have met are weak little girls, thinking they are slave, when all they want is someone to tell them what to do. really is having someone tell you want to do, serving? seems almost like topping from bottom, i want a master, to tell me what to do. but thats just my 2 cents

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 9:40:09 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Slaves are just like everyone else- some are strong, some are weak.  Being "a slave" doesn't really have anything to do with the person's actual personality or capabilities.

However, the stereotype is that slaves need to be helped, that they aren't as capable and that they are generally mindless robots.  Anyone into the scene for more than a few months offline tends to realize this as pure bunk.

But again, plenty of slaves ARE weak, just as many are strong.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 9:42:15 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I just have to rant a bit. I have seen more than once this week in forum comments that a slave is weak. Most of these comments have been from newbies that maybe don't understand. I am a slave and have many friends that are slaves. None of us are cowering, weak people that just shake in the corner. Everyone has a different definition of a slave , so I won't go there. A slave lives for her Masters pleasure and will.  She/he must anticipate all his/her needs. Simply this a slave has a different need a desire.

How many think slaves are weak willed individuals and why do you think that way?


Well, that was a definition of YOU, as a slave ....one which doesn't apply to me, as a slave. I live under my Master's will, I don't live for it. I don't anticipate his needs either. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I don't even know what they are.

There are many sites and forums connected with bdsm and anyone new to exploring it can see the vast array of perceptions and *styles* that others have.

I'd venture that, as you mention , this idea is one held by people that are new to looking at bdsm.

agirl

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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 10:56:04 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I would never in a million years assume a slave to be a weak individual. Not ever.

Edited to add:
In fact, if there is one thing I could change about my life it would be to go back in time and serve for a period. I do not believe it is something that is possible for me now but at one time, many years ago, I think it would have actually been beneficial.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 9/19/2006 10:58:32 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to agirl)
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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 11:24:35 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I would have to say that even though I dont have tons of experience at this that each and every sub type that I have met has been a compleatly different individual however,  I have noticed that sites such as CM tend to project both subs and masters as being in a specific slot.  I think its very easy to get the impression that in order to be a sub / slave / master that people have to do certain specifics rather than the truth that every couple
is different and do there own thing and the D/S parts of it contains the elements that they enjoy that fullfills the couples needs. Good relationships and sex comes from picking you life a la carte style where we choose what we like and discard the rest not trying to relate to an image that has been projected.  The trick is in knowing what is on the cart to begin with and having the courage to try and experience new things.  I have also talked with subs that are compleatly blank as in they do not even project a personality and refuse to act or speak of any kind of individuality at all but simply expect to be whatever the Dom wants them to be which although respectable I think reduces them to chicken Mcnuggets.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 5:05:41 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear sweetnurseBBW, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eye--people who seek in being submissive/slave are only as good as their experiences and those dominants they choose from.
 
It is a truth, that not all BDSM support and education groups do a good job.  It is a truth, that not all dominants are qualified, to be owners, TOPs, teaching and or leading others, let alone slaves/submissives.
 
In the Porn, BDSM fantasy novels and writings, it often gives a false representation of the average 'BDSM' and or M/s, D/s, S&M and or bondage lifestyle and or community.  In addition, sex sells and that is how most Porn books and videos are sold in that slant.  Also, positions and the like are edited to unreachable endurances and 'model' sorts acting the parts rather being living the part.  Often they have submission as a weakness and that is so sad.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 5:47:23 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I agree. I have been a slave a long time and have seen as many weak individuals as strong. I get tired of constantly hearing slaves are weak. Most of which is by those who dont know what  a slave is or haven't  met one. I don't consider myself weak, nor ever have. I hat to rant I heard it way to much this week and I needed to vent.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 7:54:08 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

How many think slaves are weak willed individuals and why do you think that way?


No, i dont think slaves are weak willed individuals. A slave must be strong in order to give their all. You cant give away what you don't have... So, In my eyes you must first have control over yourself before you can give that control away. Dont get me wrong Master has helped me grow, find more of myself, and gave me the courgae to make some life changes... Does that make me weak ? Well no in my eyes it makes me stronger because i was able follow Master's lead and better myself so i can be better person and slave.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 8:13:55 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		That which yelds is not always weak. -Kushiel's Dart

I don't think a slave or sub is weak in the general sense of the word at all.  It takes a lot of guts to give yourself up to someone and that isn't something that everyone can do.

It seems like this question about slaves and subs being weak pops up all the time and the same answers always come back.  We who are submissive know we aren't weak.  Maybe those on the outside view us that way, but I think those of us who have experienced a true submissive can agree we aren't weak at all.

(in reply to LaMspeach)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 10:53:57 PM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		Weak, no-deluded-yes.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Image of a slave - 9/19/2006 11:08:38 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Physically, my boy is weak. Emotionally, personality-wise and in his reslove, he most certainly is not.

However, there are a lot of sub sand slaves that do fock to the lifestyle becasue they ARE weak and they are hoping to find a Dom/Domme to give them the strenght they lack themsleves.

I would never generalize that all slaves are weak, but there are some out there that are, wich is what brought them here in the first place.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Image of a slave - 9/20/2006 12:47:36 AM   
UnvailedPurpose


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Stereotyping monolithic thinking and the ignorance of arrogance prompt the assumption of weakness, inadequacy and/or an inability to conduct ones self in a proactive manner.
Ultimately an introduction to an intensely humbling and painful awakening follows.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Image of a slave - 9/20/2006 3:43:51 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Dysfunctional people who've not yet found themselves can be weak.  They may have psychological issues or depression that they suffer from that weakens their constitution.  They may have been broken from a past relationship or an abusive situation and have yet to heal from that.  And yes, we come across them here in the BDSM community, trying to find a place for themselves. 

However, healthy men/women who have found their slave/submissive heart serve from a position of empowerment.  That's clearly NOT weak.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Image of a slave - 9/20/2006 7:47:42 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I personally don't think it is possible to be a submisive/slave and be weak it takes strength to submit to another.  There is strength in submitting at least i find strength in submitting to Master.  Just because a person is a submissive or slave does not make them weak.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Image of a slave - 9/20/2006 11:18:46 AM   
dungengod


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline 		i would go so far as to say a slave is the stronger of the two half it is their gift the gives us our power

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Image of a slave - 9/20/2006 11:36:21 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Many doms are dork asshole wankers.

Many subs are pathetic co-dependent losers.

It doesn't take much strength to attach yourself to someone and slap a label on it.  It takes NOTHING but a good internet connection to make a profile and rack up a bunch of posts and sound like the perfect strong slave.

What about the brand new person who creates a slave profile, gets cyber collared the next day to a dom she totally fell for, and then a week later is crying and distraught because he's disappeared or wants her to go have sex with 10 other guys?  Would we say she's strong because she says she's owned as a slave?

Time and fulfillment are the tests of strength in people in relationships- not labels.  It takes strong people to make strong relationships last.  But ANYONE can say "Yeah I'm collared." for at least a few weeks.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 20
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