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RE: Fat... - 6/5/2005 2:58:53 PM   
TomSir


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/16/2004
Status: offline 		I think if you seriously are deeply offended by the word fat... then Eating isnt really the source of your issues. ITS a WORD. Perhaps if folks were so deeply concerned about their looks (at the expense of substance and character) then this wouldnt be such an issue. Folks ... free speech offends.. get used to it. Freedom carries responsibility which means it is your responsibility to control your own feelings of offense. I don't ever remember seeing a right to not be offended in the constitution. (and I have a pocket one right here)

Funny... we've disinfected our households to the cost of diluting childrens immune systems and now we're trying to disinfect our language by claiming 'offense' to this word of that. Yet.. language is fluid. What offends you today will be tomorrow's catchphrase. Its foolish to focus on the symptom rather than the undlerlying problems that cause such offense. Intolerance.. a lack of self control to name a few, are surely more worrisome than a teenager who calls a 400 pounder fat. If you're that sensitive .. I suggest 4-5 layers of bubble wrap before you go out of the house to prevent future injury.

(in reply to ICommandslaves)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Fat... - 6/5/2005 3:00:06 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Wow. What a good topic.
Ally- You are beautiful. You have fabulous bone structure, expressive eyes, hair to die for and a curvy figure. Those kids in the jeep were assholes and I hope they get kicked in the teeth. Seriously.

I am currently having issues with my weight, and when I saw the headline for this topic, I had to read it. I was a size 0/2 back in August and when I moved to LA in December I wasn't working regularly and was not dancing on the circuit anymore. I've gained about 30 pounds since then. I am currently a size 6/8. (I weigh approx 135.) I have lost many modeling jobs since the weight gain and during one horrible phone call the photographers assistant called me "fat" and told me to call back when I'd lost 20 pounds. I have never, ever been stung like that before. So, to answer the original post, I used to think that the word 'fat' was decriptive, like 'skinny', and therefore not hurtful. After my ill fated phone call I have found that it is, indeed, hurtful. I do not think I am fat, maybe 10 pounds overweight, and have never had that word directed at me before, but it really hurt.
There was a post here, many months ago, when another forum member called me a 'skinny bitch' and I retaliated by calling her a 'fat bitch'. The thread was pulled moments after I posted that comment, but her comment was up several posts before mine. I guess that the word 'fat' is far more charged than other weight descriptive words, and therefore goes beyond simply descriptive. I think that Ally is doing a self-positive thing by changing the emotional charge of a descriptive word (for her).
Marilyn Monroe was approx a *current* size 4/6 early in her career and was a *current* size 8/10 later in her career. I'm sure those sizes weren't constant, as we all fluctuate, but sizes "back then" were certainly a lot bigger number wise than they are now. I cannot fit my busty self into any vintage clothing, which is a huge let-down for me....
Trim Spa actually expands in your stomach and utilizes vitamins that give you more energy. A friend took them and told me she felt bloated and shaky. Yuk!! As a weightloss supplement, and a workout supplement, I personally like Hydroxy-cut. I used to take it before I went to the gym. It is ephedra free and helps build muscle mass if that's what you're going for. It is also a mild appetite suppressant.
I am currently counting calories and taking Tenuate to lose the weight, as it is essential that I do. I do not endorse the 'easy way' (pills) but I felt like I needed a kick-start. If I don't work, I have no income.......
As for weight and attractiveness- I find a well-goomed person with good energy and a sense of purpose and a healthy lifestyle that is carrying around some extra weight much more attractive than a skinny unhealthy person with a pessimistic attitude. How you present yourself, no matter what your size, is a big factor in how people percieve you- as either attractive or unattractive. I meet girls that are drop-dead gorgeous and thin every day and find most of them ucky due to their attitude. A positive attitude regarding ones' self goes much further than size two jeans.
Hope I made sense. I tend to ramble...
B

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(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Fat... - 6/5/2005 3:59:17 PM   
woodsbunny


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		This is a great topic.

On the other end of the spectrum -- I am thin in build. Many people consider me too thin. An adjective some would use is cadaverous. Great, hunh?

When I graduated from high school I weighed about 105 lbs. (5'8" or so). I was keenly aware of negative feelings some others had toward my thinness. In my own family I was compared to one of the victims at Auschwitz. I was terrified that the sight of my body would offend people so when I was on the beach I wore long pants and a long-sleeved shirt. I still remember the party, years ago, where a woman I knew came up to me and announced that we could never be lovers because I was too thin. Right out of the blue -- she already had a boyfriend.

That was years ago and I'm a little taller and weigh more so I'm closer to the acceptable range. I don't worry so much about how other people view me. My sweetheart loves the way I look. I love the way she looks. But the baggage of all those years still drags behind me.

I think most women think they are "too fat," I know my girlfriend thinks so and she's just right. It's a shame.

Woodsbunny

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Fat... - 6/6/2005 12:43:58 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin
Ally- You are beautiful. You have fabulous bone structure, expressive eyes, hair to die for and a curvy figure. Those kids in the jeep were assholes and I hope they get kicked in the teeth. Seriously.
I was a size 0/2 back in August and when I moved to LA in December I wasn't working regularly and was not dancing on the circuit anymore. I've gained about 30 pounds since then. I am currently a size 6/8. (I weigh approx 135.) I have lost many modeling jobs since the weight gain and during one horrible phone call the photographers assistant called me "fat" and told me to call back when I'd lost 20 pounds. I have never, ever been stung like that before. So, to answer the original post, I used to think that the word 'fat' was decriptive, like 'skinny', and therefore not hurtful. After my ill fated phone call I have found that it is, indeed, hurtful. I do not think I am fat, maybe 10 pounds overweight, and have never had that word directed at me before, but it really hurt.

I want to share here that I used to think myself unattractive (especially when I was younger, and at that time I was smaller). I grew into the full curves I now have... Than I moved away from my large family (to get away from suffocating little town mentality), and was massively sought after as "fresh meat in town" so to speak, lol...
One day, I was in a store, and a handsome gentleman was following me for a little while; finally he came up and talked to me (I thought he was trying to pick me up, he wasn't), he said he was a modeling scout, and would I consider coming to the agency (don't remember all the details as it was about 9years ago) for consideration as a Plus Size Model...
I never went because I was about to turn 30, and because the idea of parading myself onstage was never something I desired/longed for...

I believe that move and that encounter were therapeutic for me because they allowed me to start thinking of/ accepting myself as a beautiful woman (jus as I was), and gave me the freedom to get out of my head/stopped being so self obsessed with my size, and start concentrating on my inner being and soul, examining what would make me happy in this world... The things that make me happier, a better person and a positive addition to this universe have little to do with my size.

I do hope you start working out if you feel peaceful and more comfortable in a size 0/2... Oh my that is small!
The End of my babble... M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 7/18/2005 10:05:37 PM >

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(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: The Way It ought to be - 6/6/2005 8:38:05 AM   
maryellen


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/23/2005
Status: offline 		hello i am new to the site ....but felt i would jump in here....i have been a thick ...i was involved in sports and was pretty active durning my teens and early 20's .....well i am still pretty active just not alot of sports now....but at one time i stoped eating and gained almost 200 lbs...was because of stress....when i started eating agian i lost most of the weight i gained and still losing more as i go along....so maybe folks need to relise something a doc told me a long time ago when i wanted to lose weight and be what the charts and people said i should weight....it is how your health is not your size that matters
maryellen

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Fat... - 6/7/2005 3:41:50 AM   
LadyMoonAngel


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		I am a quick reply to this post. I am a BBW. I am happy in the lifestyle. I have done the yo-yo diet thing. But I am happy for the person I am and who cares what anyone thinks about me behind my back.

I have never lost out in my life cause of my wieght and being in the lifestyle as a BBW has not changed any of my activities or play times. Actually.. I know alot of Dom/me that prefer the bigger subbie. Than they can play longer and harder. So there.

LadyMoonAngel

(in reply to allyC)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Fat... - 6/7/2005 12:43:45 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		A bigger subbie can play longer and harder? I'm confused. Would you care to elaborate?
b

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also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to LadyMoonAngel)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Fat... - 6/9/2005 10:05:31 PM   
LadyMoonAngel


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline

Just to anwser your question. BBW subbie/slave can play longer in most cases especially in a play party, public setting. We have thicker skin so when paddled or flogged in alot of cases we don't break the skin as fast. Our pain tolerance is usually higher also for the same reason as above. I am not saying that is the case for all BBW. But for a large majority that I have seen play and been played on, that is the case.

Thank you for your question

"][

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Fat... - 6/10/2005 1:11:56 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		LadyMoonAngel-
You restated your opinion but you didn't give me any back-up for it. I am still not clear on how larger women have more stamina, higher pain tolerance levels, and skin that doesn't bruise easily based on their weight. You are saying that these qualities are advantageous with impact play.
I'm an average sized woman, have great stamina and don't bruise that easily. I don't have a great tolerance for impact play, but can handle heavy bondage for long periods of time. I don't think that is directly related to my weight any more than your weight affects how you handle impact play.
This is all way off topic. I was curious.
Welcome to the boards!
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to LadyMoonAngel)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Fat... - 7/16/2005 9:05:07 AM   
pleasureforHim


Posts: 171
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
i have been alot of different sizes in the past year; and recently found out i have thyroid and possibly pitutary problems. i am on thyroid meds now and am told i should lose weight more easily because of them. That was great news. Evidentially the pitutary problem may be serious, so i am having more testing done and may need to see an endrochronologist.

All of that aside, i have always "disclosed" to men who contacted me and wanted to pursue me that atm, i am heavier, and none seemed to care. i have found much more acceptance in BDSM for heavier women than i ever found in my vanilla life.

i have not personally encountered "hatred" on account of my weight; possibly because i'm still attractive. Who knows. But i am aware of thin people who carry a deep hatred for obese people, and i think it stems from a fear of loss of control. i think the thin person believes the obese person has arrived at his/her physicality through sloth and gluttony, and has a deep and abiding fear that one day, the same thing could happen to them. Nothing else makes much sense, since the obese person isn't Thypoid Mary; spreading "fat germs" wherever they go. What i have always wondered about is why this same hatred isn't triggered by drunks in bars or kids with drugs?

Anyway, anyone who is overweight or obese is protected by law under certain circumstances due to the Americans with Disabilities act (or so i think). As for being the recipient of someone's hatred; Y/you must try hard to rememeber it stems from a deep insecurity in the hatemonger, and try not to internalize it.

pleasureforHim

< Message edited by pleasureforHim -- 7/16/2005 9:09:27 AM >

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Fat... - 7/16/2005 5:01:06 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Being called Fat. One can only dream. cuts into song Dream,dream dream a dreaaaam.

(in reply to allyC)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Fat... - 7/16/2005 8:58:55 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		You are adorable and I know I am not the only one who thinks so!!

My advice to everyone is be happy with who you are, and if you aren't happy then work towards changing what you can change... then learn to accept what you can't change. Not everyone is going to be attracted to you now matter what you look like. The nice thing about having so many different people in the world is that each of us finds different things sexy!!!


(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Fat... - 7/16/2005 9:05:45 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietkitten

You are adorable and I know I am not the only one who thinks so!!
xy!!!




Thank you for such a lovely statement. Now im wandering who the others are... Hmmmmm

Your advice is good advice aswell :)

(in reply to quietkitten)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Fat... - 7/18/2005 4:36:33 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Fat, curvacious, Rubenesque, zaftig, volupuous, big ball of jelly, all terms when someone describes me just makes me smile. I've been every size under the sun, from a size 6-24, the one body I've had the most fun in is the one I'm in now. But boy I had tons(pun intended) of fun when I was 80lbs heavier than I am now. I believe it has more to do with attitude and mindset.

People will judge you in a positive or negative light no matter what your size. I'm not promoting obesity, we're all intelligent enough to know there are health risk if we don't take care of our bodies. I just think one is entitled to love themselve regardless of what they look like even when all you come in contact with are people that loath you because you carry extra weight on your frame. And those that judge you based primarily on outward appearance, well I say F--kem.

sign me
angryblackfatwoman. (just kidding) BTW, what was the subject. Oh yes, Word descriptions such as Fat. I think i'll give my boy an assignment to write why he loves my big fat _ _ _.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 7/18/2005 4:39:32 PM >

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Fat... - 7/18/2005 4:46:29 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I am often curious why there seem to be an inordinate amount of heavily fat people in the scene, but that's just how it is.



The argument I've heard most often is people in the lifestyle are a representative sampling of the population at large (no pun intended). Right now, this country is experiencing an obesity crisis according to the recent news coverage. Since there's a high percentage of obese people, there's a large percentage here in the lifestyle.

I totally disagree with this for my own reasons and think it's obviously a weak argument that only looks plausible.

anthrosub

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Fat... - 7/18/2005 4:51:18 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I am often curious why there seem to be an inordinate amount of heavily fat people in the scene, but that's just how it is.



The argument I've heard most often is people in the lifestyle are a representative sampling of the population at large (no pun intended). Right now, this country is experiencing an obesity crisis according to the recent news coverage. Since there's a high percentage of obese people, there's a large percentage here in the lifestyle.

I totally disagree with this for my own reasons and think it's obviously a weak argument that only looks plausible.

anthrosub


Impossible to measure. You are only talking about people who go to munches and parties. You don't know how many non heavy people are practicing BDSM regularly in the privacy of their own home on a regular basis.

Akasha



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(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Fat... - 7/18/2005 4:57:53 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Impossible to measure. You are only talking about people who go to munches and parties. You don't know how many non heavy people are practicing BDSM regularly in the privacy of their own home on a regular basis.

Akasha



We are in agreement. I was reporting what I've read elsewhere on other forums. Like all "samplings" it depends on how you go about selecting from the host population.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Fat... - 7/20/2005 2:40:33 AM   
MadamMichelle


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		Great topic! Ally C you are brave, wonderful, and talanted. and thanks for starting this thread!

I'm a comedienne with an excellent sense of self and the proud owner of a 5'8" tall 220 lb body which happens to fit into a size 16(go figure). I do jokes about me weight because in comedy the obvious is easy. Here are some of my favorites:

I moved from LA to Reno because it was much easier that dieting.
I love Reno because this is a place where you can not be fat as long as your tits stick out more than your gut.
I hate it when size ten comediennes whime about their weight problems. I'm sure that when they meet people in wheelchairs they carry on about how their high heels hurt their feet.

Just thought some levity would be nice

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Fat... - 7/20/2005 11:31:23 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMichelle
I moved from LA to Reno because it was much easier that dieting.
I love Reno because this is a place where you can not be fat as long as your tits stick out more than your gut.
Why Thanks MadamMichelle for that bit of info; useful if I ever decide to move to the west coast.
quote:

I hate it when size ten comediennes whime about their weight problems. I'm sure that when they meet people in wheelchairs they carry on about how their high heels hurt their feet.
I agree that how miserable we choose to feel about our state in life is frequently affected by our perspectives in general. I think it's a lot about not being so self absorbed that one forgets to be greatful for what one does have.. M

_____________________________

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(in reply to MadamMichelle)
Profile   Post #: 99
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