Personal Dignity

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Personal Dignity

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Personal Dignity

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 10:35:58 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

There have been many threads recently that have caused me to contemplate personal dignity.
I would like to pose a question or three to both sides of the kneel, regardless of the more specific identifiers we assume for ourselves.
When posting about a personal issue do you consider your own dignity before exposing what some could consider “your ugly side”? Is the need for advice or commiseration greater than revealing a personal weakness? How important is dignity, personally and in general?

(edited for font size)

< Message edited by dawntreader -- 5/9/2007 10:52:10 AM >

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

Post #: 1

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 10:46:22 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I don't post about personal issues. I keep things simple.
My life is an open book for those who wish to enter.
Though they have to want to enter it. I won't thrust it upon anyone.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 2

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 10:49:28 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

There can be great dignity in revealing you weak/dark side.

I always consider many things when I post- where it's coming from, where it's going to, how it may be perceived by the audience (specific and general), how it may fit into the overall picture I present of myself in the environment, and how it works with my own sense of self.

It's always easier to say how cool something/someone is rather than how sucky they are (at least for me it is). This is why you have so many people who create screen names to post their problems anonymously. They are so tied up to this image they have created, that they cannot shift that image without what they consider losing some respect or dignity occurring. There's a LOT of pressure to be perfect out there.

Not that people should smear blood on the walls- vomiting up all your personal struggle can be just as degrading and unsightly as never showing a single flaw. I think the intention and relevance of the information can go a long way to keeping on balance.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 3

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 10:56:18 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I'm human. There is dignity enough in who I am without some silly image to 'protect'. I can be kind, harsh, dark, twisted (Especialy My sense of humour *g*). I think it works in reverse, it is those that try SO hard to appear perfect that actualy show themselves to be weak and 'undignified'

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:01:17 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

I post without fear of showing anything unattractive. My weaknesses and strengths are who I am. I have posted before, been shown I was wrong and honestly saw a new light on an old subject. If I protected my pride all the time, I don't think I could learn or expand much of my mind. However, I won't air dirty laundry and I try to make sure I have not made Justin look bad in my posting. I think I worry about what light I shine on my Dom more than on me. (I'm feeling sick today, so I'm not thinking in clear ways. I hope you guys understood what I just said lol)

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 5

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:09:21 AM

smilingjaguar

Posts: 271
Status: offline

If it's relevant to the conversation, I see no loss of dignity in discussing a personal struggle or weakness. I'm human. I've messed up, I've been messed up, and everything in between. It's life. If my experience gives someone food for thought about some of these issues, that's a great thing. It's something good that can come of something negative.

Now that you mention it, should my current relationship go south I'm pretty much out of luck at CM. I've admitted to being bipolar, an abuse survivor, putting my UMs before my Sir, and other unsubly attributes. I'd say I'm scratch and dent at best.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:12:27 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

There have been many threads recently that have caused me to contemplate personal dignity.
I would like to pose a question or three to both sides of the kneel, regardless of the more specific identifiers we assume for ourselves.
When posting about a personal issue do you consider your own dignity before exposing what some could consider “your ugly side”? Is the need for advice or commiseration greater than revealing a personal weakness? How important is dignity, personally and in general?

(edited for font size)

No, because I guess I'd rather be honest than dignified? I have an 'ugly side' if you want to call it that. Everyone does. So why do people feel the need to hold to a front of 'dignity' instead of being honest with themselves and others? There is a huge difference between being a 'poor me attention slut' and just being emotionally honest.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 7

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:17:08 AM

szobras

Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

My personal dignity is solidified by conducting myself in accordance to my personal virtues. It is Very important to me. I do not particularly share in depth personal aspects in open public forum. I rather prefer intimate corrospondance for certain matters. For me, one of the most humble things I can do is ask for help.The practicing of vulnerability is nessecary for my growth as a person, and very important to me. When revealing deep personal things,weaknesses, or information. I take in consideration the hands I may be placing fragile things into.

< Message edited by szobras -- 5/9/2007 11:20:58 AM >

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 8

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:17:45 AM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

I'm not generally a person to air my laundry in a public forum, not necessarily because I think it's the wrong thing to do, or because I care about what others think, simply because it's not the type of person I am, I usually have a small inner circle of people I'll discuss personal issues with, and that's about it. That being said, one of the things that draws many people to online forums is the anonymity, and being able to express things that maybe they wouldn't be comfortable expressing any other way. The advantage to it is both in putting voice to those things, and being able to get advice from a fairly objective source. Now..lol..that doesn't mean I would necessarily look at every piece of advice as valid..but I think most would agree that for every 10 "throwaway" comments, there's a good one in the mix as well. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and I think it takes a stronger person to reveal weakness openly than to be a person who considers themselves "perfect" or close to it. When I do reply to a post with something involving personal experience, no, I don't think about dignity at all..the people who know me here know the type of person I am and where I stand on things..and as for the people who don't know me..well, frankly I don't have a need for approval or to be liked by someone I don't know from adam, and I would take what they think of me with a grain of salt. Offline, with those who know me, yes, dignity is an issue..online, nope, I have more important things to worry about.

-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to drawntothedark)

Post #: 9

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:20:43 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

No, because I guess I'd rather be honest than dignified? I have an 'ugly side' if you want to call it that. Everyone does. So why do people feel the need to hold to a front of 'dignity' instead of being honest with themselves and others? There is a huge difference between being a 'poor me attention slut' and just being emotionally honest.

Greeting junecleaver,
you brought up an interesting point which i see in the other posts here and makes me wish i had addressed that initially.

Why would "dignity" be considered dishonest? Why would "emotional honesty" not be considered dignified? What characteristics of a weakness make it "ugly" Can a person not present themselves as dignified and not be labeled a perfectionist?

< Message edited by dawntreader -- 5/9/2007 11:48:43 AM >

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 10

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:31:13 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I do my best to speak deeply of my own experience which means revealing my mistakes and my weaknesses. I think dignity comes in as how you express yourself and how you treat others in your past.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 11

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:34:31 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

Why would "dignity" be considered dishonest? Why would "emotional honesty" not be considered dignified? Why characteristics of a weakness make it "ugly" Can a person not present themselves as dignified and not be labeled a perfectionist?

i dont consider dignity to be dishonest. perhaps some might mistake dignity for arrogance...

for me, dignity goes hand-in-hand with my own self-esteem. when i can keep my self-esteem up and steady, i am able to conduct myself with dignity, no matter what i am doing.

Sir extends his hand to me and supports me....and i am able to hold my head up enough to present myself as an asset to him. (figuratively, you understand) i keep in mind that my actions reflect on him, and that in turn causes me to act in a manner that makes him proud, and the actions become the reality.

kitten who isnt making a whole lot of sense at the moment...

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 12

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:34:37 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

There is sometimes a lack of poise around here. I've been guilty of it.
I think there is a segment of posters who are me-me-me and post things just for attention.
After you've been here a while you will understand who they are.
If everyone had dignity and grace this would be a boring place.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 13

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:39:36 AM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I dont really mind exposing my ugly side at all. I think we all have our weaknesses no matter who we are and those that open themselves up to get blasted for who they are are a lot stronger than those that hide behind a vail of secrecy. I think that no matter how bad the ugy there are other people around that have the same ugly and if its something a person wants to correct then the easiest way is to come out about it. I also think that the darker side of people expresses them as individuals and are the qualities that make people unique. Its is the sum or our experiences that make us who we are good or bad and at least if someone does say something shocking it may make me not want to trust that person but that dosnt mean that someone else wouldnt trust them. I can also not trust someone and still respect them for who they are. I dont look for people to think and behave the way I do.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 14

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:46:17 AM

Ericus1

Posts: 47
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline

I choose to live my life without shame. While i tend to think of some things as private. i am ashamed of nothing in my life. Sometimes i make mistakes. I do my best to correct them and learn from them.

As for my dignity, my former Mistress was very good at taking that away when she wanted to.

ericus

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 15

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 11:59:41 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

i create a thread when something strikes me as curious, funny or interesting and i really wonder if i am the only one who thinks that way. I love all responses back because they increase my perspective.

i also create threads when i have a real question. On these i may reveal that i am ill informed, stupid, or clueless, but i already know that going in and that is just what i am seeking to rectify. i don't see how seeking to grow and learn is undignified.

i tend to respond to others posts when i think i have something worthwhile to contribute or sometimes something funny to share. Undignified in my real life? Heck yeah! It's the best way to have fun sometimes. I can't take myself seriously all the time!

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to Ericus1)

Post #: 16

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 12:04:23 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

At the end of the day, we all have our pants around our ankles when we're on the pot. Ok, so some have their skirt up around their waist, but you get the meaning. Everyone has the same fears and a lot of us have the same skeletons. How others react to mine really has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their stuff. So, if I feel lead to reveal, I do so about 98% of the time.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 17

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 12:35:37 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I don't see anything undignified about expressing My non-perfect humanity. I make mistakes. Even been known to talk about them once or twice, in hopes that someone else can avoid the same mistakes.

There are certain things that I am willing to share in public forums and some things I'm not.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 18

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 12:48:16 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

There have been many threads recently that have caused me to contemplate personal dignity.
I would like to pose a question or three to both sides of the kneel, regardless of the more specific identifiers we assume for ourselves.
When posting about a personal issue do you consider your own dignity before exposing what some could consider “your ugly side”? Is the need for advice or commiseration greater than revealing a personal weakness? How important is dignity, personally and in general?

(edited for font size)

I don't think it's undignified to express thoughts, feelings or weaknesses, though it can be done in an undignified fashion. It would be very unlikely for me to ask advice about an intimate aspect of my relationship here, not because I don't want to reveal a weakness, or appear undignified but because it's the wrong place for it, where *I* am concerned and I have better resources.

agirl

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 19

RE: Personal Dignity - 5/9/2007 1:03:52 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Dignity is your apparent worth or value to others.

Others value or find worthy those as close or closer to their ideals than themself.

There is dignity to be lost in making a post about something that shows a "dark" or "weak" side when the said side contradicts greater values in sentiment and there's inadequate acknowledgement to the failure to find itself closer to an ideal.

There is dignity to be gained in making a post that shows a "dark" or "weak" side when doing so does not contradict or supercede the display of apparent honesty or integrity summed with the level of promotion to an individual taken by a rough scalar of the level to which the comradery expressed contributes to the individual who, in turn, contributes to this individual's ideals.

This said, confessing "dark" or "weak" sides in apparently sincere manners in cases in which these said sides make others are able to surficiently empathize with contributes to the dignity of the poster despite the confession of flaws with which, at first glance, would seem to devalue an individual from ideal.

As close to English, common, as I can put it; the confessions people make may diminish their dignity. However, the empathy others have for them in this dark side and the honesty displayed by the poster may come togethr to outweigh this diminishing quality.

This said, everyone considers it. They'd be insane not to consider the consquences of their actions. If they act on this consideration is another matter, and one dependent on another fuction that my time is barring me from convaying.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Personal Dignity

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109