RE: a different look at no limits slaves

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gypsygrl -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 1:32:39 PM)
quote: Those things had nothing to do with me loving His font or His shoes. I'm being a bit facetious. What captures my attention and makes me want to go the extra mile really evades my analytic ability. There's some irrational core that I'm not getting.

Archer -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 1:36:38 PM)
Just as frame of reference liljoy My own definition of limits is those things a person cannot do without physical, mental emotional damage, or based on their physical mental or emotional limitations.

MsOpal -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 1:47:54 PM)
now for a really different look - most of the time threads like this are aimed at physical and or psycological things involved in Ds - bd - sm relationships and play. But think about something that will have ramifications in your life all they way from the possibility of one of you loosing your job to the thought of maybe even having to face legal charges for something the two of you did. If HE said ... I am planning to do "this thing" and you saw the many chances that doing "this thing" could wreck havoc in your lives, you asked him to reconsider and think of all the consiquences, and he said "I am doing this thing. I want you to help me." Now let me say that in this ficitcious circumstance no one's life is in danger - but your quality of life would be, again including the chance of legal ramifications. I do not believe this is a question anyone can answer in the abstract. You have to be in the moment and know all the facts. You have to listen and decide - am I his or am I not. MsOpal

Archer -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 1:52:41 PM)
Lets make MsOpals example a matter of living as a fully OUT of the closet pair. Out to your boss, Out to your parents Out to the neighbors, Out to the world. All the consequences that would naturally follow. as one of my favorite Master's lies to say. Are you willing? LOL For some it may not be a big deal for others it could mean loss of custody of children, loss of employment, etc.

liljoy -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 1:56:44 PM)
wow this has been such a helpful thread for me. It would take me all day to respond to each post that has been helpful to me so i'm not going to try to do that. It really is i see now about the fear of giving up that last bit of control. i know that He will not push me further than He knows i am able to go. He will not risk emotional or physical damage to His property so that is not where the fear comes from. The fear comes from my not knowing when He will know when i am ready to go there. i don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but me

Archer -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 1:58:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liljoy wow this has been such a helpful thread for me. It would take me all day to respond to each post that has been helpful to me so i'm not going to try to do that. It really is i see now about the fear of giving up that last bit of control. i know that He will not push me further than He knows i am able to go. He will not risk emotional or physical damage to His property so that is not where the fear comes from. The fear comes from my not knowing when He will know when i am ready to go there. i don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but me You're making perfect sense. You don't know how he knows when to push and when not to. If you did the riide wouldn't be as fullfilling or as thrilling

MsOpal -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:03:56 PM)
: liljoy It really is i see now about the fear of giving up that last bit of control. i know that He will not push me further than He knows i am able to go. He will not risk emotional or physical damage to His property so that is not where the fear comes from. The fear comes from my not knowing when He will know when i am ready to go there. i don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but me OK, and what if how far he thinks you are able to go turns out in reality to have been too far? What if there is subsiquent emotional damage that shows up later, like PTST. Again, I do not think there are any pat answers and the more we question the more we can or should see that we just cannot predict everything. We just have to make the best judgements we can at the time and roll with the punches when they come. Hopefully the relationship is up to the task. MsOpal

liljoy -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:06:45 PM)
Archer, Ahh Sir this is indeed something i have concidered. Master is pretty much able to be totally out. i can't be sure that if i were to be totally out i would still be able to work in my field. Master is aware of this fact and would not put my job at risk. It will be interesting to see how that will work once i get moved. quote: ORIGINAL: Archer Lets make MsOpals example a matter of living as a fully OUT of the closet pair. Out to your boss, Out to your parents Out to the neighbors, Out to the world. All the consequences that would naturally follow. as one of my favorite Master's lies to say. Are you willing? LOL For some it may not be a big deal for others it could mean loss of custody of children, loss of employment, etc.

liljoy -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:09:34 PM)
Archer, thank You Sir Your words are certainly true quote: ORIGINAL: Archer You're making perfect sense. You don't know how he knows when to push and when not to. If you did the riide wouldn't be as fullfilling or as thrilling

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:09:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer You don't know how he knows when to push and when not to. If you did the riide wouldn't be as fullfilling or as thrilling I think I'm the type of dom who is more than willing to give up thrills in order to have a better impact. There are certainly times when I don't at all tell him what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, and sometimes he doesn't even realize it till after it's over. But most of the time it's a completely open and conscious process for the both of us- and that's how I want it. I want him to see, anticipate, understand where I'm going and how I plan to get us there. I think it helps me a lot on the feedback, and helps him when he tries to apply those same skills independently. I don't think the thrills are worth the progress and connection I get from it, but I'm one of those teacher-types.

Archer -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:18:51 PM)
Oh certainly there are trade offs LA. I tend towards informed consent as well, many if not most of the things I do, Elegant has shown an aptitude to do when I allow her to Top others. And certainly I advocate that same tact was mostly just recognizing the cost benifit liljoy was working with. It's where she is right now and I recall the thrill of being at that point in my own relationships. It's certainly scarry, but dealing with that fear constructively is part of the life lessons we all have to learn.

liljoy -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:23:09 PM)
MsOpal, Ma'am indeed there is the off chance that Master could be mistaken. i have thought of this too. i admit to be wrong enough to cause PTSD would suck big time. i know in something big enough to cause something like that Master would rather error on the side of caution. That isn't to say that it couldn't still happen but that the chances of it happening are lower. If it did happen He would pick up the pieces quote: ORIGINAL: MsOpal OK, and what if how far he thinks you are able to go turns out in reality to have been too far? What if there is subsiquent emotional damage that shows up later, like PTST. Again, I do not think there are any pat answers and the more we question the more we can or should see that we just cannot predict everything. We just have to make the best judgements we can at the time and roll with the punches when they come. Hopefully the relationship is up to the task. MsOpal

OnlyHis -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 2:33:15 PM)
daddysprop, The posting you wrote to liljoy was very enlightening to this slave. Often i find that reading what others are going through, their opinions and what they are feeling can trigger something in me. Make me realize that i too have felt some of the feelings you wrote about there especially in this paragraph you ended your post with. Thank you .... quote: so liljoy...seek comfort in your Master. He will understand what you are going through and help you through this. that, and time. a couple of years from now, maybe sooner if you're lucky, you'll think of the fact that your fate is entirely in this man's hands and feel nothing but the greatest peace and comfort from that quote:

Ericus1 -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 3:00:27 PM)
I lived a little over 3 years as a 24/7, no limits slave. My Mistress did things to me i never thought she would. I did everything, even the things i truly hated. It is a truly humbling experience to understand that you have no real say in what happens. In the end, it was worth every bit of it. I would never trade any of it. best of luck to you. ericus

junecleaver -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 7:41:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liljoy This isn't a post to debate if there is such a thing or not. To me a no limits slave has only the limits that her/his Master/Mistress has. i know for a fact that this does exist because i am one. Though i am new to this realization. This post is to ask those that have lived this reality longer than i have if you had moments that you freaked out at the reality of it and if so how you delt with it? There are things that i held onto in the past as limits because they were too scarey or gross for me to let go of. Everytime i realize that i have let go of one of those things i have a bit of a panic attack. It's not even a matter of if Master will ask those things of me it's a matter of IF He did i would do them and to the very best of my ability that stikes the fear in my heart. Am i the only one that has had these panic attacks when they first realized the depth of ones submision? If not then how have others delt with it? i want to make it clear that these things are not things that would endanger Master's property because i already know without a shadow of a doubt that Master requires that His property be as healthy as can be. i added this part because i know in all posts about no limit slaves people feel the need to talk about death and dismemberment and this is not what i am talking about. I haven't been at the whole relationship thing that long but my two cents.... When I realized this, it completely and totally freaked me out and suddenly the phrase, 'Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.' started floating around in my head. My Dominant is in control of us and the deeper we grow the more I lose the ability to even think the words 'No, I won't do that.' Sometimes, it makes me mad that someone has so much control over me. I guess that at the beginning I overomanticized what this sort of relationship would be. I didn't think it would be the little things. I actually can't believe that those little things that so irritate me have become some of the comforting signs that he is still in control. If you haven't discussed these things with your master, I think you should. I know that I felt guilty for feeling freaked out and unsure and almost....stucked in submission to him. You kind of lose a sense of having a 'free will' (for whatever that word is worth) and it starts to mess with your mind. If you talk to him about it, you will at least be on the same page. I know that my dominant helped me heaps by allowing me to discuss my feelings with him and NOT freaking out about it and remaining consistent. Consistency (his behavior remaining consistent and your dedication to your relationship remaining in tact as well) will be the key to getting you through those feelings IF the 'no limits' (whatever you want to call it) thing is really what you want. If what you want is the relationship you have, don't let that reality freak you out FOREVER. You can ride this out. Good luck. <3

ownedgirlie -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/9/2007 8:36:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysprop247 so liljoy...seek comfort in your Master. He will understand what you are going through and help you through this. that, and time. a couple of years from now, maybe sooner if you're lucky, you'll think of the fact that your fate is entirely in this man's hands and feel nothing but the greatest peace and comfort from that. prop, you said it perfectly. This is precisely where my life is now. The part of your comment that I bolded and italicized is my greatest sense of peace. My fate is entirely in his hands. And I thank him daily for that.

liljoy -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/10/2007 3:04:21 AM)
ericus, thank you. i know it is worth it. It is something i not only want but need. That's why it has been so confusing for me when i did freak out

liljoy -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/10/2007 3:10:25 AM)
june, yes the words careful what you wish for has been the theme of my life for a long time now. in this relationship it is more true than ever

boundfem -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/10/2007 8:50:17 PM)
I always had a list of limits that I felt I just would never even consider doing. Then, I met a Mistress who wanted full, complete control and virtually no limits. She wanted slaves who will do anything for her and give up complete, total control to her. When I first met her, for a while I only played with her and served her somewhat here and there; I didn't even know this about her. As time went on, I came to want to belong to her so badly. I developed incredibly intense feelings for her like I never had for anyone. We talked about ownership and she explained some of these things to me, and I was not ready for that. She had me spend time with her and another slave of hers and I saw the complete, whole picture of slavery she had spoken of and to me it was beautiful. I wanted it too. It took a lot of soul searching to be able to mentally handle and bring myself to do certain things. Without going into many specifics, I will give one example. I never saw myself giving up complete control to anyone; I never, ever even considered the possiblity of anyone making any and every decision for me: I consider myself to be pretty independent usually. Over the course of time after I was owned, I had wanted to quit one of my two jobs. It had become incredibly stressful, management had changed and the environment became miserable and so forth. When I reach a point at a job when I want to quit, I just have to get out. I get to a point where everyday is unbearable and I feel I will die if I stay. I told my Mistress I wanted to quit in a couple of months.. I was actually just mentioning it in conversation. She informed me that in no way. shape or form can I quit that job (for reasons that don't need to be explained here). She was controlling my finances so it was not as if I could go ahead and do it anyway. I was completely stuck. I felt like I was going to die of suffocation. I went for a walk and cried, I felt so trapped. It was one of the first times I ever truly felt like I was in someone else's hands entirely; the choice had been taken away from me. That night, I was at a friend's house having an anxiety attack - well I had smoked a substance other than cigarettes that made me even more anxious (and got in trouble for that).. but I called my Mistress and she acknowledged that it is incredibly difficult for anyone to give up total control. Just hearing her understanding words made me feel a tad better. Later on, when my brain adapted to the situation, I realized I was actually pretty happy- this was the closest I ever felt to anyone. This was the most owned I have ever ever felt. There were other things that were similar, but for me it did bring a completion to the relationship unlike anything I ever felt or knew of before. And, now, I can not see being in a relationship that is anything but like that for the most part.

eyesopened -> RE: a different look at no limits slaves (5/11/2007 3:03:20 AM)
liljoy, you and i have talked before and i understand where you are coming from. To me, limits aren't specific activities but specific consequences. Death, disfigurment, and prison are my hard limits no matter what the activity.

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