RE: What's in it for the Dom?

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/9/2007 8:13:16 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
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Great thread, maybe we need more Pro Dominant men to go along with the Pro Dominant women.
Great job if you can get it.

(in reply to Adelphus)

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/9/2007 9:21:03 PM

ExSteelAgain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Can't you turn this around and see it from the dom's perspective?
Exerting authority and power over another is what a dom likes to do - the sub fulfills that role - the person submitting to the authority of another. The dominant is getting a lot out of it.

Yeah, I mean that is it. I get a hell of a lot out of this. At times I wonder what the sub gets out of it, but I've been around enough to really know.

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/9/2007 9:24:00 PM

LadyPact

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Gee.... Except for that exhillerating feeling of power coursing through My viens.... Not much.

(If you can't tell.... It's a joke.)

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/10/2007 7:32:40 AM

daddysliloneds

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they get to dominate willing victims; it is their return, duh!

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/11/2007 5:26:10 AM

Focus50

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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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Actually, it's such a good question that I've got no chance of giving an adequate answer without writing a short story.... lol So I'll confine myself to a few lines.

For me, the actual physical/sexual rewards are secondary, even if I'm actively stimulating her. What I enjoy most is feeding the control freak within me, which means I can spend hours just sitting there staring at her helplessly bound nakedness and feel utterly content within.

And physical binds are just one form of restriction. Formulating and enforcing the rules and protocols of our relationship are basic, everyday necessities of this control freak. For me, D/s is not about physical sensation - I have greater primal needs that only a fem/sub can fulfill. I don't need the sexual release I often torture my girl with but when I do, you can be sure I'll be as demanding of that with her, too!

Vanillas talk of the idyllic simultaneous "Big O" but I prefer the "top-space" that comes almost automatically with getting her into sub-space. It's all about control - can't get that from vanilla partners....

Focus.

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 3:06:06 AM

MaamJay

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As a Dominant, it is partly the love of being Dominant and feeling and seeing the willing submissive responses from the sub. Yes, there's a control freak in there that enjoys that. However, I am not the sort of Domme who would accept a "do-me" sub ... I have encountered some in which it's ALL about what happens to them, what I will do for them ... and that doesn't please Me. It has to be give and take, there must be things that the sub does for Me, an attitude of service which makes all the decision-making of Domming worthwhile!

In the case of the OP, seems to have been a really poor compatability rating between him and his Domme ... they'd have never made it on Perfect Match LOL! It's important to find meshing interests, personalities and limits, so keep looking!

Maam Jay

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 6:36:59 AM

agirl

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Adelphus

So you take your sub, tie them down, do all kinds of stuff to them, but what do you get in return? The sub seems to get all the sensation while the Dom get exhausted. So the question is, do Doms get off through the shear act of dominating or do they require to be paid back in some way to make it fair?

And yes it's a dumb sounding question, but apparently some people are taking issue with me posting my actual problem. Sigh.

If I'm tied down and *stuff* is done to me it's because HE wants to do it. He's the one in control here.......if he doesn't want to, he doesn't. What does it have to do with me?

Is it *fair* that he can tie me down and do unspeakable things to me whenever he wants to?

Should I start concerning myself with what he does or doesn't *get off* on?

If he is *getting all exhausted* and I'm *getting all the sensation*........it would appear to me that that is exactly what he wanted.

Who's in control?

agirl

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 8:27:39 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Well, Master is a sadist, so he gets enjoyment from my reactions to the sensations.

ditto

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 10:49:29 AM

GentleDom3nNipps

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Exerting authority and power over another is what a dom likes to do - the sub fulfills that role - the person submitting to the authority of another. The dominant is getting a lot out of it.
Well said KatyLied and for the Loving or Sensual Dominant like myself, it is the trust and love given through complete submission that warms my heart and soul every but as much as Doing what i want to her body and with her body completely turns me on. Never feel like you cannot ask questions here or anywhere Adelphus sadly some will mock or tease but jerks are everywhere for the most part there are terrific people here top an bottom, sub or dom, slave or master here who are always willing to share, inform, and help guide. However Katylied summed it up well, for those of us who see submission or slavery as a beautiful gift it is, it is in being honored and trsuted with it, that gives us the emotional fufillment every bit as intese as the sensual and sexual bdsm allows.

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 11:39:25 AM

dogobedience

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The dynamics of power and control over another is just cause for me. The power exchange either via force or mental activity excites me.

To tightly chain and lock up a girl, bend a girl over my knee, or simply have her stay in a position, these and other things which impose control and domination creates a wonderful feeling. So, even though the girl is on the receiving end, I get satisfaction as well.

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 12:07:57 PM

leatherorlace

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Joined: 2/21/2005
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I'm purely happy for you being able to join the "purer" practitioners and enjoy yourself with the controlling aspects of My chosen lifestyle... I don't often scene publicially anymore because of the intensity that, I'm capable of reaching even under the critical eyes of those less comfortable with My expertise in practices that some even find offensive.
Having served as a Dungeon Master, Dungeon Monitor and nosy look-see what they're doing, but be non-judgemental ( I doubt that's a possible reality for humans) (Oh, I know, you're an exception, you're perfect in manner and practice... Horse doo doo!!) I've witnessed all manner of sensible and half-assed practices and the extremes that they can reach. I've been "contacted", meaning that, I've been vocally grounded with an expression of concern for the depth of My interactions while in Dom-space (and yes, you doubting-susie's and tom's some of us do enter that mindset more deeply than the norm, if there be one, and cause the more experienced some alarm while scaring the snot-buggers and PC concerns to ruin their Weekend Player's scenario.
For those that hold that non-sexual interactions is a choice that some will entertain for you, I beg you to not inquire of Me or My females unless you want to witness and endure some wickedly brutal humour at our hands. We, especially Me makes no apology that, I make myraid uses, sexual usage of those that surrender to Me.
I use their sexuality to empower Myself beyond the 'nilla states of programmed behaviour,,,, sheesh, why bother attempting to explain how, I practice WIITWD. There'll be a professor of semantics begging debate when, I can be limbering My arms with the application of some well deserved lashes on My girls fine bod'.
Gentry
Doctor of Delicious Deviance
Pope of Perverse Practices, Rabbi of Rump Humpin'
Priest of Pussy Pokers
Proud Veteran of the U.S.Navy and Army
Intergalactically Famous Hero 'n' Honoured Member Extraordinaire of the Gremlin Slayers Guild

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

The dynamics of power and control over another is just cause for me. The power exchange either via force or mental activity excites me.

To tightly chain and lock up a girl, bend a girl over my knee, or simply have her stay in a position, these and other things which impose control and domination creates a wonderful feeling. So, even though the girl is on the receiving end, I get satisfaction as well.

(in reply to dogobedience)

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RE: What's in it for the Dom? - 5/13/2007 9:17:48 PM

TigressFL

Posts: 239
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I am a Sadist, which to me means that I get sexually aroused by inflicting pain. In addition, I get into a headspace (a zone if you will) where I am hyper focused on the person I am playing with and what I am doing. It is a rush to see them utterly helpless and at my mercy. It is an adrenaline and ego boost to hear them scream, whimper, beg, shake, quiver and dance. It is almost orgasmic to see his or her skin as it changes colors. It is intoxicating to push and pull them between where I want them to go and where they want to go until I decide they can indeed go there. It allows me to express a more primal aspect of my personality. I do not have to feel bad or apologize for my desire to inflict pain to the person that consents to my torment. They accept my more primal side and seek it out. I also get to express an artist side to myself. I do not do any type of crafts, sing, play an instrument, etc. so often times the body is literally my canvass to paint as I see fit. Whether it is s corset made from needles and ribbon across their body, wax art, patterns on their skin during impact play, full mummification with colorful wrap or anything else I view as artistic, it is an outlet for my artistic side. The bond that can come from that type of play is often very deep even if only a friendship as we share a different kind of chemistry that is not solely centered around the power transfer but also the emotional and sexual exchange between the Sadist and the Masochist. It can be deep for me and it can simply be fun for me. Either way it is a spanking good time! Being exhausted hits after I come down from my headspace and it is all good because I know how to get a massage and the way to my bed!

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