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undergroundsea -> RE: Can they go the distance? (5/12/2007 8:48:50 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyIce
Most talk the talk but don't walk the walk.
Seems I am below the curve. I don't even talk the talk ;-)
I think the matter about distance is grey and the response of a sub will vary with philosophy and circumstances. My philosophy treats distance as a practical matter, which keeps my search to mostly local prospects. Most of my search filters are for within an hour drive and my threshhold for compatibility becomes greater as the distance increases. I look more towards networking and contacts when distance is involved. While circumstances might bring paths together or a contact might develop into something more, I do not actively seek play over a distance beyond a 3 hour drive. I see the benefits of the broader pool beyond the local ones more towards seeking a companion.
My circumstances are relevant because my enthusiasm for a long distance relationship is affected by what is or is not available nearby, and by existing distant relationships. A different set of circumstances could have me more interested to seek over a distance.
Most of my first meetings with long distance dommes occurred due to a trip for a different reason that allowed a casual meeting, which aligns with my philosophy about how much to invest and expect from each direction towards the first meeting. This philosophy is influenced by experiences where the first meeting showed no chemistry. Due to this philosophy, all other things equal, a distant contact is more interesting if in an area I tend to visit.
As for willingness to travel for play, I did once plan a two week vacation around a visit to a domme, whom I had met once before during a business trip. My impressions of the trip are neutral about how much or not to go out of my way about an unclear relationship. I met another domme at an event. Shortly thereafter, I visited her area on business. She invited me to visit, which went well. We have since discussed additional trips--there, here, and to other places. This relationship is based more on play than on promise of companionship. I am unlikely to make a trip for play only where the connection is unknown but will make trips once a connection has been established.
I would neither relocate nor want someone to relocate near me unless the relationship has progressed to merit such a move or the relocation generally suits the individual's circumstances. I sometimes hear of relocation at an early phase in the relationship with little in person contact. In my opinion, if such relocation occurs, it should be done as if the relocation is being done as much for the sake of moving to a new place, and to accordingly manage expectations.
Cheers,
Sea
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