Am I being unreasonable?

Am I being unreasonable? (Full Version)

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littlespicyone -> Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 7:22:44 PM)
I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His?

minnetar -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 7:25:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? Can you specify what you mean by that? Do you mean a collar? minnetar

MellowSir -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 7:29:27 PM)
"Hope is that thing with feathers, that perches in the soul"~Emily Dickinson

playfulotter -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 7:30:55 PM)
i think you will do that if you think if is the totally right thing to do..hopefully after you have met in person!

subinsouth -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 7:33:39 PM)
i am lost ~ Op states "assumed that a submissive will ask to belong to a Dominant?" i thought the Dominant would ask, if They so desired, to have a submissive as Theirs? Did i miss something???

mstrjx -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 7:40:56 PM)
I should think it's like getting married. At some point, 'someone' has to ask, and it probably doesn't matter who. I understand your point, though. If you ask for a collar, you are taking the risk of rejection and making your feelings known. If you are asked, then you know you are desired. Jeff

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 9:16:46 PM)
Who asks whom is a matter of preference. If the relationship is going well, who should ask should probably be discussed. While I might offer a token, I expect the slave to ask for a collar. Just my preference. Master Fire

robertolapiedra -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/12/2007 10:35:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? Hello littlespicyone. Try this, ''Would you please consider me as your collared slave? It helps if your a not complete stranger. A big smile works wonders (happy slave). After ''consideration'' the dominant will ask or not ask. Keep it simple (unmanipulative) and to the point (honest and respectful). RL.

aldompdx -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 12:11:47 AM)
Unless you are an ice queen, or your partner is a brick wall, then your feelings of closeness are probably known. There are cultures where asking literally demands that the request be satisfied. I find it more respectful and a demonstration of deeper submission to wait to be asked. Taking control and asking is not a strong showing of submission or surrender. Do you want to take, or give, or share what is offered? Hope is not unreasonable.

RavenMuse -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 2:48:52 AM)
My girl didn't ask initialy, but I was reasonably confident that IF I asked I knew what her answer would have been... so I didn't ask, I told! Only once was she ASKED and that was to confirm she was ready to FULLY submit, to make it absolutely clear I had consent.

agirl -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 5:52:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? I asked to be his but I had no idea that it was an assumed thing. He didn't and doesn't need me; the desire was mine, so I asked. There was certainly a reasonable chance that he'd say no. I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that a dominant will ask you.......but why does it matter? Is it a rejection thing? Is it because if you are asked, you have the certainty that you're wanted? agirl

KatyLied -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 6:08:13 AM)
quote: I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? I would never ask, that's how my personality is. I've always been about having an investment in knowing that I was wanted by the other person. A one-sided ask would not work for me. In some cultures - Gorean, the girl is expected to beg. Again, that's not me, I feel that both people should be approaching the relationship. Instead of worrying about some unknown time or situation in the future, just let things develop as they will or won't, there's nothing much more you can do anyway.

littlespicyone -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 6:11:27 AM)
Maybe I'm wrong and it's not as assumed as I think ... but I would just like to be asked because I'm a closet romantic and although I know a Dominant man wouldn't say yes if He didn't want to, it would be reassuring if I was asked.

littlespicyone -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 6:14:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? I asked to be his but I had no idea that it was an assumed thing. He didn't and doesn't need me; the desire was mine, so I asked. There was certainly a reasonable chance that he'd say no. I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that a dominant will ask you.......but why does it matter? Is it a rejection thing? Is it because if you are asked, you have the certainty that you're wanted? agirl Which begs another question. Is it unreasonable to want the One I give myself to to need me? Certainly not in the way that I need Him, but still need what I can offer Him.

eyesopened -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 6:29:34 AM)
There isn't a cookie-cutter one-size-fits-all D/s or M/s relationship. It would be unreasonable for you to ignore who you are and what you need to feel in your submission. For me, i absolutely need to feel not just needed but necessary. i have never felt any real satisfaction in being just the most convenient girl at hand at the time. i want to know that there is something special and unique about me as a person and that my service has some meaning to the Dom that is different from all the others who serve Him. That's just me.

agirl -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 7:33:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? I asked to be his but I had no idea that it was an assumed thing. He didn't and doesn't need me; the desire was mine, so I asked. There was certainly a reasonable chance that he'd say no. I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that a dominant will ask you.......but why does it matter? Is it a rejection thing? Is it because if you are asked, you have the certainty that you're wanted? agirl Which begs another question. Is it unreasonable to want the One I give myself to to need me? Certainly not in the way that I need Him, but still need what I can offer Him. I don't know if it's unreasonable. These aren't questions that address reasonable, but desire. I think wanting to be needed gives a sense of security ......I NEED them, but it's ok, they NEED me, too It can appear safer to need someone that needs you, or something that you offer. I believe I am wanted, not needed. There's a security in that, too. I'd rather someone owned me out of want, rather than need. I rely on M, he does not rely on me. There's no way that I can measure his want against my need and gain a sense of security. agirl

Level -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 8:04:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? Neither should be assumed, and no, your hope is not unreasonable.

NakedGirlScout -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 8:21:44 AM)
My opinion - the question sounds like there's an underground power struggle brewing (who wants/needs whom more?) I think long-term powerful relationships are built when both people want and need one another wholeheartedly. Believing that one person could do very well without the other, while the opposite isn't true, breeds unhealthy insecurities. By the time a level is reached in a relationship where ownership ought to be considered seriously it should not matter who brings it up, since both people will be thinking the same thing.

amaidiamond -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 8:25:49 AM)
I think it depends on the individual dynamic, with Master and I - I asked His collar but I knew that was what He wanted also

shyinini -> RE: Am I being unreasonable? (5/13/2007 9:00:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlespicyone I think that it's kind of assumed that a submisive will ask to belong to a Dominant, but is it unreasonable for me to hope that someday a Dominant will ask me to be His? take heart.......yes ............. it DOES happen ! [:)] quote: Which begs another question. Is it unreasonable to want the One I give myself to to need me? Certainly not in the way that I need Him, but still need what I can offer Him. Need and want are different to me spicyone. I cannot exactly tell you the difference...they just are. When Sir told me, "you are wanted" everything inside of me surrendered to him. He doesnt need me, but of all the others he could have had, he choose and wants me. I hope that makes sense.

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